Ted Cruz, Rand Paul and Marco Rubio may be among the top contenders for the GOP's next presidential ticket, but today conservatives got a new Dream Team in Sarah Palin and Dr. Seuss.

Taking a page out of Sen. Ted Cruz's play book, former Governor Palin used a beloved children's author to take President Obama to task on his failed policies during her keynote speech for this years Conservative Political Action Conference. Here was the line that first had the crowd roaring:

"I do not like this Uncle Sam, I do not like his health care plan."

Then she just kept them coming:

"I do not like when Congress steals, I do not like their crony deals."

"I do not like this spyin' man, I do not like, 'Oh, yes we can.'"

"I do not like this kind of 'hope,' and we won’t take it nope, nope, nope."

Not all of her speech relied on witty couplets, however. For instance, Palin put the rhymes away and looked the audience straight in the eye when discussing the need for a powerful national defense.

“It’s like a liberal on gun control. Mr. President, the only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke, is a good guy with a nuke.”

To the crowd's delight, Palin also took an opportunity to acknowledge she predicted years ago that Russia would begin to try and expand its reach by invading Ukraine:

"I’m probably being too hard on the president…after all, who could’ve seen this coming?

She ended her speech as she always does - with a bright look at our country's future. And of course she couldn't help throwing in a jab or two.

"This is a great awakening. The age of Obama is almost over. The end of an error."

There aren't many people who can rile up a crowd like Sarah Palin. Her electrifying collaboration with Dr. Seuss was a fitting finale to an already inspiring conference.

In honor of your bold nursery rhymes Governor Palin, I’ve produced one of my own:

Some critics may say she’s “going rogue,”

And she just took the president back to school.

The End.

Judging by the crowds at Sen. Rand Paul’s speech yesterday -- along with the fact that 46 percent of respondents were between the ages of 18 and 25 -- it was a foregone conclusion the junior senator from Kentucky would win CPAC's annual presidential straw poll, right?

Sen. Rand Paul demolished his competition in the 2014 Washington Times/CPAC presidential preference straw poll on Saturday, winning 31 percent of the vote -- nearly three times the total of second-place Sen. Ted Cruz.

Mr. Cruz's 11 percent was still a big improvement for the freshman senator, who won just 4 percent in last year's straw poll. Neurosurgeon Ben Carson was third with 9 percent and New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie was fourth with 8 percent in results that signal growing discontent with the GOP establishment in Washington.

Respondents hailed from all 50 states, and only attendees who registered for the conference were allowed to participate. The polls opened at 7:00 AM on Thursday, and closed at 1:30 PM on Saturday. According to the pollsters, 2,459 total votes were cast. This is the second year in a row Mr. Paul has won the award.

Here's the statement his office released after the findings were made public:

“I am grateful to all the attendees who stood with me. The fight for liberty continues, and we must continue to stand up and say: We’re free and no one, no matter how well-intentioned, will take our freedoms from us. Together we will stand up for the Constitution. Together we will fight for what is right. Thank and onwards to victory."

Meanwhile, the Senate Conservatives Fund (SCF) also conducted a survey of its own. Ted Cruz won that straw poll by a decisive margin:

The Senate Conservatives Fund (SCF) released the results of its 2016 presidential straw poll today. SCF conducted an online poll for its members who could not attend the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Washington, DC today.

The top three vote winners were U.S. Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) with 42%, U.S. Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) with 17%, and Gov. Scott Walker (R-WI) with 10%. Over 41,000 ballots were cast nationwide.

"The results of the SCF presidential straw poll are unique because they reflect the views of a large group of conservatives across the country," said SCF Executive Director Matt Hoskins. "Our poll shows that Ted Cruz is currently the conservative favorite for president in 2016."

He walked on stage to a sea of ‘Carson 2016’ signs. Then he got to business.

“America is a land of dreams,” Carson declared, before insisting this freedom is under attack by the bullies of political correctness.

“People are afraid to speak up for what they believe.”

The conservative doctor knows a thing or two about political correctness, as he himself has been lambasted for defending conservative principles such as traditional marriage and private health care. He refused to let these attacks stop his pursuit of the First Amendment.

“I will continue to defy the PC police. They try to shut me up. I find them pretty amusing. I still believe marriage is between a man and a woman.”

Last year, the media charged Carson with comparing gay marriage to bestiality. He said anyone who believes that is a “dummy” and he corrected their inaccurate assumption.

“Of course gay people deserve the same rights as everyone else, but they don’t get extra rights.”

The media published more unfair headlines when Carson declared Obamacare is “the worst thing since slavery.” In their analysis, the doctor had directly compared the two.

Carson likened these demonizing tactics to those found in community organizer Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals. But, the doctor said conservatives need to “stop being intimidated” by these old, familiar strategies.

“It’s time for people to stand up and proclaim what they believe and stop being bullied.”

He offered a few specific solutions, including that of the nation’s health care system:

“Fight to make sure health care stays in their hands and not in the hands of the government.”

Carson didn’t say whether he’s joining the presidential race in 2016, but his passionate and bold speech certainly gave those wearing “Run Ben Run” reasons to smile.

Detroit Police Chief James Craig wants criminals to know that they shouldn’t just be afraid of police anymore—they also need to worry about homeowners who are ready to use a firearm to protect themselves.

“A lot of Detroiters are fed up,” he said in a recent interview with WDIV-TV. “They’re tired and they’ve been dealing with this epidemic of violence. They’re afraid and they have a right to protect themselves.”

After all, when seconds count, police are only minutes away, right?

“If you are confronted with an immediate threat to your safety, you’re not going to have time to dial 911,” Craig said. “It becomes an issue of, the threat is here, I have to respond to the threat.”

However, Craig was careful to say that citizens must exercise common sense. In other words, there needs to be a true threat coming at you and you can’t chase someone down the street. But he wants would-be criminals to know that they need to worry about a few things. “They’ve got to worry about a police department that is going to aggressively find you when you commit an act of violence. And you got to also worry about the good Detroiters who are not going to put up with the violence.”

H/T: The Blaze (video)

Townhall's Christine Rousselle and Sarah Jean Seman loaded on the SWAG at CPAC 2014. Dozens of exhibitors, from the NRA to the Motion Picture Association of America, handed out koozies, hats, t-shirts, sunglasses and frisbees. Check out our official SWAG grading post for more details.

Three things in life are guaranteed: death, taxes, and incredible swag at CPAC, the Conservative Political Action Conference held yearly in the DC area. At this year's CPAC, a lot of organizations really stepped up their game, providing some pretty sweet free merchandise to CPAC attendees. Here's some of my personal favorites:

If you'd like a soundtrack to accompany this post, press "play" and begin scrolling:

"F" Grade

Pens, fliers, and stickers.

While these items are mostly fine at any other conference, CPAC is different. Stickers may be fine to cover a water bottle, but compared to other swag distributed, they're pretty weak.

"D" Grade

Bracelets, bags, anything with a low chance of re-usability.

Bags: great for toting around CPAC swag and groceries, but how many of them do you really need? Bracelets and wristbands are an easy way to promote an org, but they're not really "in vogue" right now.

"C" Grade

Pins, cups, and koozies.

There's nothing inherently "wrong" with pins, cups, and koozies, but they're a little "meh." Fun to collect, but they also just take up a lot of space.

"B" Grade

Shirts, hats, sunglasses, and water bottles.

Shirts are denied an A grade due to weird availability of sizes. (Full disclosure: Townhall distributed shirts this year) Sunglasses are quite fun, but quality can be varied. If they're great, you're golden, but if they're crappy, they're useless. Water bottles are awkward to carry around, but they're dead useful post-CPAC.

"A" Grade

Phone chargers, squirt guns, candy, and frisbees.

Squirt. Guns. Need I say anything else?

When Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) was introduced at CPAC this afternoon, the main ballroom was so full of energetic attendees, some of whom wore “Stand with Rand!” t-shirts, one could hardly see the stage. The crowd was ebullient and on their feet as soon as he took the podium; even some members of the media gave him a standing ovation.

“Imagine with me for a moment a time when liberty is spread from coast to coast,” he began, after the applause died down. “Imagine a time when our great country is governed by the Constitution. Imagine a time when the White House is once again occupied by a friend of liberty. You may think I’m talking about electing Republicans -- I’m not. I’m talking about electing lovers of liberty.”

“We must elect men and women of principle, conviction, and action who will lead us back to greatness,” he added.

He then implicitly referenced Thomas Paine’s famous pamphlet, “The Crisis,” saying its publication, in his view, was an extraordinary act of courage by an extraordinary patriot.

“Will we be bold and proclaim our message with passion [like Paine], or will we be sunshine patriots retreating under adverse fire?” he asked.

William Lloyd Garrison, too, Paul proclaimed, was a fearless American leader conservatives must study and celebrate, an abolitionist who exemplified true moral courage.

“He rose above those politicians who would leave the country half free, and half slave,” he declared. “Will you, America’s next generation of liberty lovers, will you stand and be heard?”

This is when he addressed the National Security Agency's controversial data mining program.

“If you have a cell phone, you are under surveillance,” he said emphatically. “[And] I believe what you do on your cell phone is none of their damn business.”

The crowd erupted in applause.

“The Fourth Amendment is very clear,” he continued. “[And] the Fourth Amendment is equally as important as the Second Amendment, and conservatives cannot forget this.”

And of course, like most CPAC speakers, Paul didn’t mince words when discussing the president of the United States.

“How will history remember Barack Obama?” he asked. “History will record his timid defense of liberty. [If] the executive branch can detain citizens without trial; if it can amend legislation; if it can declare to Congress that Congress is in recess; then government unrestrained by law becomes nothing short of tyranny.”

He also addressed the president directly.

“Mr. President, we won’t let you run roughshod over our rights," he said. "We will challenge you in the courts; we will battle you at the ballot box. Mr. President, we will not let you shred our Constitution.”

“You can’t have prosperity without freedom,” he said in conclusion. “The time is now: stand with me [and] let us stand together for liberty.”

The most recent Pew Research survey has tried to pin down the best ways to describe the millennial generation, but it seems they are just finding contradictions that make it harder to figure them out.

Millennials are between the ages of 14 and 34. The newest poll finds that this generation is the most doomed by the economy, but that they are also the most optimistic generation in the country.

The Bureau of Labor Statistics finds that the unemployment rate for young people is still high. 13.5% of people between the ages of 15 and 24 are unemployed, but yet they still appear to be optimistic about their finances. 53% of millennials say they don’t earn enough now, but will in the future.

Additionally, the study finds that young people are the most technologically connected, but are also are least trusting. That seems a bit strange because so many of the millennials are open to meeting people on the internet, yet have trouble trusting people in real life.

The millennials are full of contradictions; they also have the record number of single parents, but have a negative attitude towards them. Millennials aren’t marrying at the same rate as the older generations have.

It appears from all of the results, the millennials are very confused about where they fall. Many support Obama, but hate Obamacare, yet they identify as independents and vote Democratic.

Make sure to check out all of the results here to see all of the crazy things the millennials are feeling.

On this week's Townhall Weekend Journal:

Hugh Hewitt's guest Peter Baker is the New York Times’ White House Correspondent. He’s the author of a prophetic book entitled “Kremlin Rising: Vladimir Putin’s Russia and the End of Revolution.” Michael Medved and Charles Krauthammer on Putin's Ukraine invasion and Obama's response. Mike Gallagher and AEI's Arthur Brooks discuss envy in America. Medved and Paul Ryan confront the way our government programs are threatening our identity and actually hurting the poor. Hewitt's guest, former Judge Michael McConnell, who directs the Constitutional Law Center at Stanford University, has authored a supporting brief focused on one very important point: the free exercise rights of a corporation. Gregory Feifer, author and former Moscow Correspondent for NPR, is the author of “Russia: the People Behind the Power,” he explains the mindset of the Russian people to Dennis Prager. John McCain and Medved discuss Russian aggression in Ukraine.

If you ever wanted to know why pro-amnesty Republicans failed to get immigration reform passed, Thursday's immigration panel at CPAC was a great place to start.

Not that the panel itself was against immigration reform. It was definitely for it. Including moderator-lobbyist Mercy Viana, the panel consisted of four pro-amnesty speakers (Viana, Helen Krieble of the Krieble Foundation, Alfonso Aguilar of Latino Partnership for Conservative Principles, and the Rev. Luis Cortes), while featuring only one anti-amnesty voice (The Heritage Foundation's Derrick Morgan).

The pro-amnesty slant of the speakers, however, was not a surprise. Ever since Al Cardenas succeeded David Keene as chairman of CPAC's sponsoring organization, the American Conservative Union, CPAC organizers have pro-actively worked to shutout anti-amnesty voices. The inclusion of a Heritage speaker on this year's immigration panel was a big improvement over previous CPAC-sanctioned immigration discussions.

But for this reporter, the insight into what went wrong for pro-amnesty Republicans began well before the official program. Facebook lobbyist John Shadegg, an unidentified woman, and panelist Cortes shared some pre-game notes on where the pro-reform campaign stood, and they didn't seem to care who else in the admittedly almost empty room heard them.

Shadegg and Cortes both agreed that immigration reform was still a real possibility this year, and that Republicans could get most of what they wanted on the issue, if only House Republicans would show some leadership and pass a bill. Contrary to popular belief, Shadegg claimed, most conservatives support immigration reform, including many scholars at The Heritage Foundation. Shadegg and the unidentified woman even started listing names of Heritage staffers that they believed supported legalizing illegal immigrants.

Shadegg then explained why the Senate bill, S. 744, died in the House. The problem, Shadegg said, was that the NFIB, NAM, and other pro-reform business groups let the Chamber of Commerce's Tom Donahue negotiate for them with Senate Democrats. As a result, the final bill was nothing more than a carbon copy of the wish list unions came up with after immigration reform failed in 2007.

The first speaker on the panel, Krieble, echoed this criticism, calling S. 744 textbook "central planning" that did to immigration policy exactly what Obamacare did to health care. Instead, she pushed a "Red Card Solution," which she said offered a "market-based" solution to the problem. She did not mention, however, that her Red Card plan would involve repealing the 14th amendment so that children born to guest workers would not receive birthright citizenship.

When they spoke, Aguilar and Cortes both agreed that illegal immigrants must be offered a path to citizenship, although they disagreed as to why. Cortes claimed that few illegal immigrants would want to become citizens because they just wanted to work here legally, provide for their families, and then go back home. But Aguilar insisted that Hispanics were born conservatives who would become fiercely patriotic for their adopted country.

So which is it? Are illegal immigrants fiercely patriotic Republicans-to-be? Or are they all just dying to go back home? Cortes and Aguilar never settled this contradiction.

The reality is that there is zero political benefit for Republican in passing immigration reform while President Obama is still in the White House. Obama can simply veto any bill that isn't exactly what labor unions want and then expand his DACA program instead. If immigrant activists really want to end deportations they should focus their efforts there.