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OPINION
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I Cannot Handle All the Not Winning

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Evan Vucci

Since when did America become a country of losers, a country of ne’er-do-well half-steppers who look around at everything turning to Schiff and shrug, muttering, “Oh well, la dee da.” I don’t think we have, at least not all of us. The lack of winning bothers me. I like winning, not being a loser. And I think most Americans concur. For that reason, we can hope that the lack of winning is likely to mean a ballot box nightmare in 2022 and beyond, so if we can avoid total collapse for a while, we just might get out of this.

Also, lots of lib-facists and pinko simps are mad because we patriots chose the occasion of the death, via the gross incompetence of the people say lib-fascists and pinko simps put in office, of 13 troops to point out how much the left sucks. Well, stay mad. Fussy fury amuses us. And we’re going to keep telling the truth no matter how mad it makes the libs.

Welcome to The Decline

Most of you did not grow up in a failing America. Most of you came of age not in the ugly interregnum between when the leftist shot Kennedy and when the leftist lost to Reagan, when only a few highpoints – like putting a dude on the moon – broke a nearly two decade losing streak. I did, and it sucked. But the new generation is, and it’s going to suck – at least until January 20, 2025, when President DeSantis is sworn in and takes his unholy vengeance.

Ah, sweet, sweet vengeance.

Americans like winning. They like it a lot, and while it seems to have been bred out of some of our inept elite it still exists as a defining characteristic of normal Americans. We don’t want to be some loser country like Germany, with its anal retentiveness and love of Kraftwerk. We want to be winners, and we have been for most of our country’s relatively brief history. 

Reagan spoiled us. Bush 1 was, well, what do you expect from a Bush? Still, Reagan’s glory endured, past President Read My Lips, through President Doing Other Things With Lips, to President Bush 2. Bush Redux, all in on the establishment, managed to lead to the Wall Street meltdown and Obama kept it melting down. It was a brief downturn. But Trump, applying the principles of someone who’s not a total loser, brought the winning back. And now Biden has treated winning like it was Old Yeller.

It’s loss after loss after loss, thanks to the adults in the room. And it’s not like we didn’t warn the mean tweet-phobes that this would happen. We knew that winning takes more than a daily tongue-bath by the press. Winning takes not being a senile buffoon with a love of liberals cliches and delusions of adequacy. In this, * is uniquely unqualified. This result was entirely predictable.

But how is perpetual losing going to sit with a voter pool that was generally used to being citizens of a superpower instead of a stuporpower?

Badly, we must hope, because if this is tolerable, if this is acceptable, if this is okay, then we are done for. We’re doomed to be a footnote in future history books, assuming they have footnotes in Mandarin.

The tests to see if we will demand winning, or if we will embrace the suck and move into a crappy apartment with it, are coming, starting with the hardest – the California recall. That’s the toughest nut to crack, and if the nut is cracked, the left will go nuts, with justification. If California says “Oh, hell no” to failure, then Virginia probably will too in November, and then the whole country will in 2022 and then in 2024.

Let’s hope America votes for winning.

This Is the Perfect Time For Politics

President Asterisk and the *dministration – a great moniker, by the way, for the world’s crappiest Springsteen cover band, though it’s not like there could be a good one – sent out the message. The occasion of its utter failure in Kabul was no time to point out its utter failure in Kabul. This should be a time of silent reflection, they command, or at least of the silencing of critics who would dare to point out the blood staining these faculty lounge hacks’ soft, girlish paws. We’re not supposed to utter the obvious – that these incompetents are to blame. Instead, we’re supposed to be hushed by the sight of the Clockwatcher-in-Chief checking his Rolex as the young Americans he had killed were carried out of the C-17.

Pass.

This is not only the time to let him and his coterie of pompous jerks have it, but to do so with both figurative barrels. You don’t get to dodge this one, you desiccated old pervert.

Hilariously, some even cited “thoughts and prayers,” as if that was some sort of talisman that would drive us back into our churches and leave them un-critiqued. But we aren’t playing their game. Every time some scumbag – most of them leftists – went on a murder spree, we got to hear about how right then was always the critical time to bring up taking away the guns of Americans who had nothing to do with the murders. Think of the children, they demanded. You hate the children. What about the children?

Gosh, what about the children getting passed over barbed wire as the Taliban executioners closed in? Oh, that’s different. See, that doesn’t support the leftwing agenda of transforming an armed, free American citizenry into a rabble of disarmed, gagged serfs. So, you can’t do it. Remember, the rules are flexible – they bend over backwards for the left.

They want us silenced right now because right now is when the attention of the whole country is turned toward the total failure before our eyes. And they can’t have what they want. We will speak the truth, now, loudly and clearly, no matter how sad it makes the people who should be thinking and praying over their own complicity.

The sixth Kelly Turnbull conservative action thriller, The Split, shows what happens when America splits into red and blue countries. Get all six bestsellers, including People's Republic, Indian Country, Wildfire, Collapse, and Crisis! My super-secret email address is kurt.schlichter@townhall.com.

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