There’s a lot of conflict between generations now, with the Boomers and Gen X against Gen Z and Gen Whatever the Hell Is Next. Intergenerational conflict is normal, natural, and inevitable — you can find it in the Bible — and both sides have some valid gripes about each other. Most of us VIPs reading this are probably on the older side, and we’ve got lots to say about how the younger generation is weak, whiny, and weird. They have lots to say about how we are spoiled, clueless, and at fault for most of the problems facing mankind in general and them in particular. Again, none of that’s new. The Boomers’ parents thought their kids were entitled jerks, too. And the Boomers thought their parents were repressed automatons grilling in their backyard on yet another Pleasant Valley Sunday.
I do need to make one clear statement here — our 70s/80s music is infinitely better than that of the current younger generation. But I digress.
Now, of course, we’re speaking here in generalities, but generalities are generally accurate, much like clichés and stereotypes. There’s nothing wrong with observing commonalities and pointing them out; the only people who don’t like that are the ones being criticized. And let’s face it, the Boomers have screwed some things up, and younger folks do have to face some problems that we never faced. Of course, we faced problems they never faced, and let’s not pretend we didn’t b***h endlessly about them, too. But now we’re older, and we’re settled in, and most of us are doing OK, and it’s our turn to wag our collective finger at the younger generation.
But it doesn’t have to be merely an exercise in venting. It can be useful. After all, we have some experience with life. We have seen and done things and learned from them in peace and war, in times of economic prosperity and near collapse. We know some things about life, and it might be useful for the younger folks to hear them. But let’s not fool ourselves. Most of them are never going to listen. We didn’t listen. I know I didn’t listen. But that doesn’t mean we can’t offer discreet bits of advice, whether solicited or not, to the people who are someday going to be changing our bedpans.
So, here’s a starter list of bits of life experience that young people could definitely benefit from hearing. Again, they will probably choose not to, because people hate getting advice and hate taking it even more, but we can at least say we tried. And you can help, too, in the comments, by adding your own thoughts, and then finding young people in your life and irritating them endlessly by telling them these things.
So here goes…
My most important piece of advice is not to listen to people who tell you that money doesn’t mean anything. No, money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you out of a lot of unhappiness. Your goal should be to get to a point when you’re not constantly living in fear of having to wear a barrel with suspenders. If you are not financially secure, your entire life is going to be a mess. Start young, get your money in order, and you will be parsecs ahead of your peers.
A lot of people diss Dave Ramsey for being painfully obvious, but handling money is 90 percent painfully obvious stuff. Save some money. If you max out your Roth IRA in your 20s, by the time you’re 60, you’re going to have a couple million bucks. It’ll be nice to have that because you won’t have Social Security. Don’t go into debt. Avoid it like the plague. Sure, buy a reasonably priced house in a reasonable area with a mortgage at a low interest rate. Then don’t take on any other debt. Don’t revolve debt on your credit cards, don’t buy a Ford F-150 truck for $90,000 at 18 percent interest over eight years, and don’t do those buy now/pay later deals for stuff like getting your avocado toast delivered.
Also, don’t get your avocado toast delivered. And don’t spend eight bucks a day on coffee. I know that a lot of young people feel they have some sort of inherent right to the same lifestyle they enjoyed when their parents were supporting them, but they don’t. None of this is about rights. It’s about choices. You can choose to get your avocado toast DoorDashed, and you can choose to get a venti latte half-decaf half-hibiscus syrup with an espresso spritz, but you have to pay for it.
Here’s a little secret about being young and having to live off ramen (in my case, it was those Stouffer’s French bread pizzas). It might be annoying today, but down the road, in the future, where you’re definitely going to live one day, you’re not going to remember your econo-dinners except as a funny story. If you pay $30 to have some illegal alien drop off that avocado toast at your door, you’re not going to remember it at all. You aren’t even going to have a funny story. You’re just going to have a giant credit card debt you can’t pay off.
And speaking of giant debts, don’t get student loans. Now, I understand about colleges and how the prices have far outpaced inflation. When I went to UC San Diego from 1983 to 1987, in-state fees were about $1,300 to $1,400 a year, and living expenses added a few thousand more. But simply because politicians were stupid enough to create a student loan program that allowed colleges to endlessly raise tuition because Uncle Sucker was going to guarantee the loans to cover it doesn’t mean you have to fall into that trap. Don’t take out student loans. They aren’t going to pay off. And don’t go to law school. AI will kill that industry soon enough.
I went to law school in the early ’90s, and I used the G.I. Bill. Back then, I got three or four hundred bucks a month. Now, the G.I. Bill is considerably better. If you’re young, you should definitely consider joining the military. They will pay off college loans, but more than that, they will allow you something that your friends won’t have. You will have a life adventure. I’ve lived on three continents. When Ukraine got invaded, I had already been there. I walked a few steps into North Korea, and how many people can say that? And I got to lead Americans. Yeah, I had to deploy and get threatened with chemical weapons (that was my job when I ran a heavily armed car wash in Desert Storm), then I had to go out in Los Angeles during the riots, but not to steal big screens, and I left the family for 16 months to go to Kosovo. It’s not all fun and games, but man, what a life experience. And once you’re in the club as a veteran, you’re in the club. You’re special, part of a fraternity that’s not made up of goofy frat boys with Greek letters on their sweatshirts. I remember starting law school a few months after coming out of being a platoon leader in the desert and seeing fellow first-years with their frat sweatshirts, and I just felt bad for them. I was a man, and they were boys.
The bottom line is that Pete Hegseth has fixed the military in important ways. It’s no longer a petri dish for social pathologies but a combat-focused organization that will give you exponentially more than you put in. (Bite me, WaPo!) For young people who can meet the exacting physical qualifications — sadly, most people don’t qualify physically, though they would love to serve — I can’t imagine not doing it.
Here are some things you should not do when you are young and just getting started. You shouldn’t have pets. I love my Barkey and Bitey. I just had to write a five-figure check for their vet bills. I can do that because I’ve had several careers. If you’re just starting out, you can’t. Also, you can’t move from one crappy apartment to another easily if you’re dragging along a dog. Wait till you get settled. Then have a bunch of pets, preferably rescue dogs. They are the best.
Don’t buy a brand-new car. That’s a waste of money. Don’t spend money buying pot — the last thing you and America need is a drug that makes you lazier, dumber, and less interesting. You may have to spend a little bit to live in a decent place. You don’t have to live in a palace, but you should live in a place where you can actually live your life. Don’t put off living your life. Sadly, the two-dollar beers that made going out easy for us don’t exist, and half your friends don’t drink anyway. But you need to have a social life. Don’t sit and waste your 20s playing stupid video games and defiling yourself with Internet debauchery. Hang out with people. Live. And if you can, hook up with somebody and get married in your 20s. If you can get a partner and start building that life together early, you’re ahead of the game. Don’t be one of those men who is way too old to be hanging around the club, or one of those women who is freezing her eggs. Your loser friends will tell you that you’re supposed to live your life first. Newsflash — getting married and starting a family is your life. Get a move on.
A lot of people say you should find a sensible job, that you don’t have to like it. I say organize your life so you’re doing things that you want to do. When I was a soldier, I liked being a soldier. When I was a lawyer, I liked being a lawyer. And since I became a writer and media guy — thank you, Andrew Breitbart — I’ve enjoyed being a writer and media guy (by the way, pre-order my new book, my 17th). Find something you like and do it. And seriously consider starting your own business. When I was a lawyer at a big firm, I got Circuit City as a client as a second-year lawyer. After they offered me the same bonus as the guy they caught sleeping under his desk, I counter-offered that I would keep it all and ended up opening my own firm. Since I was running my own life, I was able to keep soldiering and to start writing for Andrew Breitbart when he gave me the opportunity. If I were toiling away for someone else, then I’d still be toiling away for somebody else now. Take control of your life as soon as you can.
That’s just a little bit of life advice. Take it or leave it. It’s all up to you. Young folks, you’ve got so many options out there even though things look terrible sometimes. You’ve got challenges we didn’t face, but you’ve also got opportunities we didn’t have. There was no Internet to build a career off of when I was in my 20s. Don’t dwell on what’s hard — dwell on how you’re going to succeed.
So, there’s my advice. Fellow crusty VIPs, share yours in the comments. And then share it with the younger generations. They probably won't listen; we never did. But at least you can say you tried.
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