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OPINION

Ukraine and Cocaine

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Susan Walsh, POOL

There is an eerie parallel between what passes for America’s Ukraine policy and the fact that a fat sack of Bolivian energy dust got discovered in the White House and was promptly forgotten. These two happenings are two sides of the same coin, and its denomination is failure. It is the failure of our establishment, the last gasp – or snort – of a ruling caste that has discovered that, at the end of the day, it could get away with getting high on its own supply (at least for a while) and, like Tony Montana, ploughed its face into a mountain of nose candy as his world collapsed.

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These situations the same because they both tell terrible truths about the coterie of mediocrities who presume to rule us. They both manifest the incomprehensible stupidity, unconscionable arrogance, and cynical evasion of accountability that characterize the best and the brightest of the twenty-first century. Didn’t Joe Biden, the perfect PINO (president-in-name-only) for this wretched era, once announce that his meth-addled crackhead son was the smartest guy he knew? Since he hangs with Democrats, that might be true, but more likely it is just more of the same nonsense, the lies so thoroughly mixed into the just plain wrong that it becomes nearly impossible to tell them apart.

Who brought the Peruvian party powder into the White House? Search me, says the same law enforcement apparatus that can track down any elderly Vietnam vet who might have made the mistake of wandering into the People’s House on January 6th thinking, like a sucker, that he was one of the People. The coke was right under the noses, so to speak, of the people operating the most surveilled and secured site on earth, but when it comes to figuring out who brought it inside, Sherlock shrugged. Here’s a clue – it was Colonel Mustsnort in the Situation Room with the mirror and razor. Of course, it’s Hunter’s. You know it. I know it. They know it. And they lie to you, even as you know they lie to you and they know you know they lie to you.

There’s no honesty. There’s no accountability. There’s just lies, and that’s all that is left. It’s unsustainable. Like the rails the meth-teethed Father of the Year blasts off the aft-side cheeks of random Lithuanian doxies, the goodwill and inertia and default patience of the masses will eventually run out. The question is when.

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Maybe the process will accelerate because of the death of American kids – not kids like Hunter, to be sure, or like any of the Biden grandkids except maybe the stripper baby who doesn’t count as one – in Ukraine, because we can see that coming. Let’s hope it does not take that, but so far, we have been really patient as our young people have died from Democrat-sponsored fentanyl, Democrat-sponsored illegal aliens, and Democrat-sponsors urban chaos. Is it fair to call these phenomena “Democrat-sponsored?” It’s more than fair – honesty demands it. You are responsible for the foreseeable results of your actions, and Democrat actions have filled a lot of morgue slabs, just not enough to wake us up. Not yet. Maybe the trail of dead coming home from Kyiv will get America’s attention.

That nightmare is approaching. Unless you are blind, you see where this is going. Like the cocaine antics of Sonny Stripperbanger, the foreign policy antics over Ukraine have been incompetence + dishonesty + cynical evasion of accountability, which all adds up to disaster. The worst case scenario is what they do.

I don’t like Putin, or Russia. I like Ukrainians. I trained them. They got invaded – in significant part because of Joe Biden and the foreign policy establishment’s incompetence. But it’s not our war, and I neither presume to understand the Slavic subtleties at play, nor do I trust – at all – the same internationalist caste that has literally gotten exactly zero things right since the end of the Gulf War to understand them either.

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There are three ways this goes, and of course our garbage establishment has picked the worst way. You can give the Ukrainians enough stuff to win the war – or at least you can try to. That means a blank check, which we hesitate to do. Or you can starve the Ukes and force them to the negotiating table, but that means a peace where Putin gets some things he wants, which we hesitate to accept. Or you can choose the most brutal, cruel, and evil path and just give the Ukrainians enough to keep the meat grinder grinding, though you can’t say that out loud. This is, of course, what our establishment has done. The idea is to wear down the Russians by wiping out their army. Putting aside the fact that we will run out of Ukrainians first, if our foreign policy establishment had even a glancing familiarity with history, they would know that the Russians always lose at first, rebuild, and come back stronger. A barely functioning Russian Army 1.0 will be replaced with a lean, experienced Russian Army 2.0. The next wave of generals is not going to be vodka-soaked thugs from central casting but experienced vets who know how to fight a (newly rebuilt) modern army in a modern war. But hey, our foreign policy schemes have never come around to bite us in the Schumer years later, right?

Right?

You can see where this goes. The Ukrainians, bleeding out men and trying to operate a patchwork of foreign weapon systems, will start losing – hard. Their great offensive is not going so great – they are nibbling at the edges of the Russian advances, but there’s not going to be a sweeping move that expels Putin’s hordes. There’s going to be a bunch of people killing each other along a lengthy front until one side – and I bet it will be the side with fewer dudes – cannot take it anymore.

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I respect the Ukrainians – they are tough and patriotic. But they are getting fewer and fewer. We can send them weapons and we do, but they will need bodies. And when the front collapses and the revitalized Russian forces start pushing the outnumbered defenders west, guess who will have to come in? 

Us, or more specifically, the children of you deplorables, because those are those people who join our Army – though fewer and fewer of them do nowadays. So, we will have a depleted force with depleted ammo stocks led by the geniuses who haven’t won a way in 30+ years going against experienced forces on what they think is their home turf. Great work, everyone. Let’s just hope trans awareness translates into combat power, but personally I’d prefer having enough 155mm artillery shells on hand. 

The fact is that this drag-it-out strategy, to the extent it even qualifies as a strategy, is the most likely way to suck us into a real shooting war with Russia. And some people want it, for unfathomable reasons. You could see guys like Mike Pence the other week basically getting turgid with Tucker Carlson at the thought of confronting the Russkies. They will promise us no US boots on the ground right up until the moment they tell us it’s our moral duty to have US boots on the ground.

But it’s not. It’s not 1988, when confronting the Russians was essential – and I was part of the cannon fodder in Europe doing it. Russia has its inscrutable reasons for wanting Ukraine, but that does not mean it’s going to invade Poland. Yet we are being driven toward an actual war – with a guy with a bunch of nukes, no less – that no normal American wants by a people who are stupid, incompetent, as well as unaccountable. They are lying to us. It’s not going great. It’s a disaster.

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Our ruling class is characterized by greed, idiocy, cynicism, and the inability to perform the basic tasks we once expected them to perform. Moreover, it refuses to police itself. There is no accountability because the ruling class has decided that it is not accountable to us, and when there is “accountability,” it is really just the weaponization of otherwise atrophied judicial processes targeted at dissidents and dissenters. Now let’s go put the current president’s leading rival in jail! Pay no attention to the white lines on the mirror – or to the payoffs.

The only thing we can take heart from is that this is all unsustainable, though how long America can run on fumes is debatable. Ukraine and the cocaine are symptoms of the same disease that has overtaken our country. Let’s hope it is not terminal.

Look, you need to keep up the fight by joining Townhall VIP right now. You get access to a bunch of great stuff, not the least of which is my extra Wednesday column, my weekly Stream of Kurtiousness videos every Friday, and the Unredacted podcast every Monday! Use promo code SAVEAMERICA to get 50% off a VIP membership.

Follow Kurt on Twitter @KurtSchlichter. Get Inferno, the seventh book in the Kelly Turnbull People's Republic series of conservative action novels set in America after a notional national divorce, as well as his non-fiction book We’ll Be Back: The Fall and Rise of America.

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