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OPINION

Donald Trump Broke These People

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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Chris Seward/AP Photo

Back in 2019 I wrote a piece entitled, “Trump Tourette’s” about the unhinged reactions you get from leftists anytime you mention the 45th President of the United States. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing a MAGA hat or casually explaining to someone how to play euchre, any even tangential mention of his last name set off leftists in an uncontrollable rage. That hasn’t changed in the three years since, but a new phenomenon has come along to join this affliction – Trump Withdrawal. 

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Where Trump Tourette’s causes involuntary ramblings and frothing at the mouth, Trump Withdrawal causes those afflicted to make every single thing they can about Donald John Trump. Celebrity stalkers are more rational about their relationships with the targets of their obsessions than those poor bastards afflicted with an insatiable need to have Trump in their lives.

People in media who made their careers or got their TV contracts because of their willingness to be “a Republican who doesn’t like Trump” on CNN or MSNBC are adrift now. Many of these “conservatives” are without a home – they are what happens to “useful idiots” when they outlive the “useful” part and are just left being idiots.

Bill Kristol is a prime example. This Weeble who wouldn’t have ever had a job were he not the son of an accomplished man has at least found himself another sugar daddy to keep the gravy train rolling. The commodity he has to sell is his former “credibility” of being a conservative magazine editor and Fox News commentator. As long as people remember that’s what he was, he can still get left-wing billionaires to throw him bones to blame everything on Donald Trump. All he has to do is continue to renounce everything he once claimed to stand for because he doesn’t like the people accomplishing it. Hunter Biden’s prostitutes have more dignity…

There’s also Michael Steele. The former chairman of the Republican National Committee is on MSNBC regularly whining like a 9-year-old girl with a skinned knee about how everything is either the fault of Republicans in general or Donald Trump specifically. Still upset he wasn’t reelected to another term as chair because of his incompetent management of the RNC (strip clubs, anyone?), Mikey isn’t qualified for much else. He co-founded a PR firm with a liberal Democrat under the guise of caring so deeply about finding solutions to problems…that he sold it as quickly as possible. Now practices verbal yoga via Skype, showing an amazing ability to make anything about the former President. If Donald Trump didn’t exist, Michael Steele would have to invent him because the alternative would be to be a productive human being offering something people need or find useful and he’s simply ill-equipped. 

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Washington Post resident bridge troll Jennifer Rubin is angrier that Donald Trump was President than she is that a house was dropped on her sister. The former alleged conservative now spends her time inventing ways to blame the former President for the failures of the current one. She’s another one of those people with a paper trail expressing a desire for certain policy outcomes who renounced them when they came about because of anything related to the Trump presidency. She’s one step away from performing abortions to prove her fealty to her progressive masters when all she really has to do is give every man in America a picture of herself, which is the most effective form of birth control ever devised. 

There are lesser-known sufferers, minor players who never really rose as high as their fervent selling out could have taken them if they’d been even remotely intelligent or interesting before Trump came along. Amanda Carpenter, who appears to have lost her CNN gig and suffered deserved humiliation auditioning for The View, now writes for Kristol’s latest blog. Matt Lewis has also discovered what happens at CNN post-Trump is like what happens at a strip club after last call – the stripper was only pretending to like you. Writing hottakes like “‘Anybody but Trump’ Is the Only Way Forward for the GOP,” he has devolved into someone writing pieces in the hope that Morning Joe will have him on to talk about them. He’s trying to wring out a little more usefulness from his idiocy. 

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Then again, they all are. What they once pretended to be is the only commodity they have to offer. Donald Trump broke them. Not deliberately, but by existing in a way where he didn’t need them. All they’d been building was irrelevant, their life’s works weren’t needed. He didn’t seek their advice, there were no campaign surrogate contracts or consulting deals, he didn’t even tweet out their pointless columns or clips of their TV hits. They handled it about as well as an obsessed ex handles the news of your engagement. 

These are but a few of the pathetic gaggle scrambling to find some attention from the home they were welcomed into so warmly only a couple of years ago. They have announced their leaving the GOP almost as many times as Max Boot or Joe Scarborough have that it’s performance art at this point. Perhaps they should apply for a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts? Maybe then the hole inside them will be filled. As for the Republican Party and conservative world: Go already, we still don’t need you.

Derek Hunter is the host of a free daily podcast (subscribe!), host of a daily nationally syndicated radio show, and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses, and host of the weekly “Week in F*cking Review” podcast where the news is spoken about the way it deserves to be. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter.

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