In a world where parental rights are increasingly under attack, one question looms large. Who truly owns your children?
I’m not talking about ownership like a refrigerator or a pet. I mean, who bears the responsibility, the authority, and the accountability for raising your child? Who teaches them morality? Who tells them what’s right and wrong? If you're a parent of faith—particularly a Christian—the answer should be obvious. You do.
The Bible is clear on this point. The Old Testament book of Deuteronomy tells us to teach our children God's laws. Proverbs reminds us to raise them up in the way they should go. The New Testament book of Ephesians commands us “not to provoke our children,” but to raise them with discipline and instruction. It’s assumed—it’s our job.
Yet increasingly, that’s not how it works anymore. Despite the clear biblical mandate for parents to guide and raise their children, a new cultural and legal wave is attempting to strip that authority away. There’s a growing voice that says the state—not parents—should decide what’s best for our kids. And what's worse? Parents are letting it happen. Out of convenience, fear, or the lie that someone else knows better, we are abdicating our responsibility.
We are in a legal and spiritual crisis, and here are two stark examples that show just how far this has gone.
First, let’s examine the contradictory nature of recent laws in Colorado. The state recently passed HB25-1312, known as the Kelly Loving Act, which specifically targets parents who do not affirm a transgender-identifying child. Under the bill, “deadnaming”—referring to a transgender person by their birth name—is labeled as “coercive control” and can be used as evidence of emotional abuse in custody decisions. In other words, calling your child by the name you gave them at birth could mean losing custody.
Yet here’s the hypocrisy, while parents may be punished for deadnaming their own children, Colorado law still allows the state itself to deadname. For example, official documents like birth certificates and school records often retain the child’s legal name unless a formal legal name change occurs. This contradiction reveals the inconsistency of these policies. Why is it acceptable for state institutions to use a birth name, but not for parents?
This double standard exposes an agenda. It’s not truly about protecting children—it’s about controlling parents. Parents name their children, not the state. Yet now, using a birth name could result in a loss of custody.
Even more concerning, the bill integrates these behaviors into Colorado’s Anti-Discrimination Act. This means if I deadname my child three times a day for a month, I could face fines totaling over $300,000. While it’s not criminal—yet—the groundwork is laid. How long before disagreeing with your child’s identity becomes a prosecutable offense?
The second example comes from Maryland, where Montgomery County Public Schools introduced LGBTQ+ inclusive storybooks into elementary schools. Initially, parents had the choice to opt out. However, in March 2023, the school system reversed course, stating that allowing opt-outs created “administrative challenges” and could “stigmatize LGBT students.” In effect, parents lost the right to say, “No.”
Jewish, Christian, and Muslim parents joined forces and filed a lawsuit, arguing that the policy violated their religious freedom. Lower courts sided with the school system, but the case has now reached the Supreme Court. If the state wins, it will set a precedent that parents can no longer shield their children from ideologies they find harmful. That’s not inclusion—it’s coercion.
This isn’t theoretical. It’s happening. Look at Jeff Younger in Texas, who lost custody because he wouldn’t affirm his son’s gender change. The courts sided with the mother, and she moved to California. He’s been fighting for years just to protect his child.
So I ask again—who owns your children? Because if the answer is the state, we’ve lost something foundational. We’ve lost parental authority, religious freedom, and the ability to say, “This is wrong.”
Where is the Church? Many are silent, but a few are courageously speaking out. We need more to join them. Too many believers are silent, afraid of offending, or worse—affirming lies in the name of love. But silence isn’t love. It’s surrender.
We need parents—and pastors—who will stand firm and who will resist when the government demands we lie, commit evil, or remain passive when God calls us to act. That resistance may come with consequences—fines, loss of custody, or worse. But if we aren’t willing to suffer for God’s truth, we’ve made comfort our idol—and even our children.
The time to speak and act is now. If we remain silent, the question won’t be who owns your children—but why we gave them away.
Peter Demos is the author of On the Duty of Christian Civil Disobedience and the host of Uncommon Sense in Current Times. A Christian business leader from Tennessee, Demos uses his biblical perspective and insight gained from his own struggles to lead others to truth and authenticity in a broken world. Learn more at peterdemos.org.
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