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OPINION

Meet President White House

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Evan Vucci

I bet you all thought that Joe Biden is President of the United States. Well, you are wrong. The real President is a person named “White House.” That person, male, female, binary, or it is the one Americans really (maybe) elected.

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Here is some evidence.

1. A headline from The Hill, March 26, 2022: “White House attempts to walk back Biden stated Putin can’t stay in power.” Mr. Biden thinks Vladimir Putin shouldn’t remain in power and he stated so. However, he isn’t the President. White House is. So, Mr. or Mrs. or Miss or They or It or Whatever made it plain that no, Putin being removed from power is not the official policy, Mr. Biden is not President, I (White House) am, and I don’t believe Mr. Putin should be ousted. President White House didn’t know what Mr. Biden was talking about. And Biden probably didn’t, either.

2. This headline is from Newsweek, May 30, 2022: “White House Walks Back Biden Ruling Out Rockets for Ukraine.” President White House is very healthy. The real President gets a lot of exercises “walking” Mr. Biden’s statements “back.” We should all be happy we have a robust President. But clearly, Mr. Biden doesn’t make the policy, so he isn’t President. White House is.

3. This is from CNN, which certainly should know who the President is if anybody does since that network spends all its time kissing the President’s…uh…hand. Here’s what they said: “White House says Covid-19 policy unchanged despite Biden’s comments that the ‘pandemic is over.” That was on September 19, 2022. Just a few days ago. So, the White House was President on September 19, not Joe Biden. I guess President White House feels sorry for Mr. Biden lets him wander around, saying mindless things. Then, the official President, the White House, makes the correct policy statements. Well, that’s what President The White House should do.

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4. Also on September 19, the New York Post reported, “Biden says US troops would defend Taiwan; White House backtracks remarks.” This is at least the fourth time Mr. Biden has said US troops would be used to protect Taiwan in case of a Chinese attack. He isn’t making the decisions here, and the President White House had to clarify his/her/its true administrative position. It’s good that President White House knows what is going on as Joe Biden doesn’t.

5. The Daily Mail, on July 21, 2022, had this headline: “White House forced to clarify Biden does NOT have cancer.” I know President White House probably gets a little tired sometimes of correcting Mr. Biden’s statements, but that’s what President White House gets for letting people think Joe Biden is the real President. But I’m sure President White House knows, like all the rest of us do, that Joe Biden is cognitively unable to function at any level, much less handle the duties of the President. So, President White House goes about making policy and destroying the country while letting Joe Biden run around saying things that aren’t the “official” stance of President White House’s administration.

6. From Breitbart, September 28, 2022: “White House Gaslights Reporter After Biden Searches Crowd for Dead Congresswoman: ‘Not All That Unusual”. Well, it’s not unusual for Biden to talk to dead people because the man is crazy. This is dangerous, folks. Joe Biden is demented, and, all jokes aside, he is making decisions that will affect The United States and the world. God help us. Hopefully, the President White House has an iota of brains to deflect some of this danger, but he/she/it hasn’t given much evidence of it so far. I just wish we knew what the real President looked like. But, since the President White House has made such a disaster for the country in the last 20 months, it is quite probable he/she/it doesn’t want the people to know what he/she/it looks like. Better to let Joe Biden take the blame and stay healthy “walking back” his inane statements. 

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Mark Lewis is a native Texan currently living in Thailand. He has a Masters' degree in history and has taught history and English in America, South Korea, and China.  His first book, Whitewater, a western novel, was recently published, and is available at Amazon, Barnes andNoble, and Eliva.com.  And check out his new blog at thailandlewis.blogspot.com 

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