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OPINION
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Watch: Big Pharma Is Having a Meltdown

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AP Photo/Virginia Mayo

Welcome to my Townhall little VIP short message! Is it going to be called "Stream of Kurtsciousness"? I don't know. I don't really care much. I want to get to the good stuff. And the good stuff is this, about three hours ago, I went and got my second vaccine. And that's important because now I'm growing a tail. Don't worry; it's prehensile. So, I got that going for me.

I don't want to talk about my vaccine because there's nothing more boring than, "Did you get a Moderna? Or a Pfizer? Or a Johnson & Johnson?" And it's like, "Shut up." I don't even care. But my body surges with powerful antibodies.

Now the big thing today, and I love this. This is great. The giant pharmaceutical corporations are having a meltdown because the Biden administration is waiving intellectual property rights to the vaccine, using the disaster in India and around the world as the reason for doing that.

Getting rid of the IP rights means essentially that other people can make these vaccines, that the formulas and the techniques and things aren't solely the property of these giant pharmaceutical corporations.

There was a time I would've cared because, on principle, you don't take other people's property from them. But you guys know my guiding principle of conservatism, which is I don't have any conservative principles that make me less free.

These giant corporations not only conspired to get Obamacare jammed down our throats, and I'm trying to remain FCC compliant, so I said throats instead of jammed somewhere else. They also participate, like all giant corporations do, in the spasms of wokeness that are wracking and roiling through our society.

The giant corporations hate us. They despise us. They have adopted, as I have said many times before, the political sensibilities of the blonde 30-year-old second trophy wife of the CEOs of these giant corporations who are like, "Okay, stop nagging me. Fine, I'll put pronouns in my bio."

This raises a question. Since the Democrats are their friends, and if you look at the giant corporations, you will see that most of their money now goes to Democrats; it used to be Republicans, now it's Democrats. The Democrats are the ones taking these IP rights from them to save the lives of millions of other people, incidentally. Including our potential ally against China, which is India, which is inadvertently a really great move in the fight against China because that's a serious thing unlike anything else the Biden administration is doing.

As soon as this happened, in the last 48 hours, I've seen a bunch of conservatives go nuts. "You can't do that! You can't take their IP rights! Why, why that's against muh principles!" And in fact, some dingus in the Republican caucus is thinking of introducing a bill to stop Biden from doing this.

And I have a question, which is, why the hell are we doing anything for these giant corporations?

For the last decade or so, they have told us to screw ourselves. They conspired with the Democrats to get Obamacare through. They are woke. They give money to the Democrats. Maybe they should go see their Democrat friends and get their Democrat friends to take the position that millions of people should die because we are unwilling to give the intellectual property that we subsidized as the United States government through Donald Trump's brilliant Warp Speed program to help save the lives of people around the globe, including potential allies in our life and death struggle against the Chinese. 

So, why again would we do this? This is like the most Liz Cheney thing ever. Take the stupidest position, the one that helps giant corporations at the expense of us, because remember it's your son or daughter, not the Cheneys' son or daughter who's going to have to go fight the Chinese. Cheneys don't fight; they just send your kids.

Here's my advice to the Republicans: Stop being freakin' idiots, okay? Start telling them, "Democrats, why don't you go talk to your new freakin' friends and see what they have to say?"

When the Democrat-loving big pharma guys call going, "Please help us! Please help us, Republicans!" Here's what I propose:

"Hello? Big pharma? Huh. Nooooo... New phone, who dis?"

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