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OPINION

The Santa Killer Was a Religion of Peacer

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

If I wanted to murder my family or destroy a historic university and yet not give my faith a bad name in the press, I would convert to the Religion of Peace.

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Yep, if you belong to that lovely creed, you can snap on Christmas and execute your entire clan or burn down a famous college, and the media won’t say shizzle about your faith or your motivation for mayhem. Sa-weet, eh, mass murderers?

Case in point. Aziz Yazdanpanah, known only as the “Santa Killer,” was a follower of this “amazing faith” who slaughtered his family on Christmas Day after his wife dumped him and his 19-year-old daughter wouldn’t stop dating a non-Religion of Peacer. The adherents of said faith refer to this act as an “honor killing,” and when it occurs police and the press reckon it unworthy of unearthing and condemning publicly.

For those not familiar with the term “honor killing,” allow me to explain: An honor killing is a murder wherein a man from the Creed of Calm can give his wife and/or daughter(s) the axe if he deems that they have embarrassed him or their peaceful community. Step lightly, lasses.

Oh, and I nearly forgot this. It’s not only okay to kill the ladies, according to their doctrine, if they make the faithful self-conscious, but adherents may also slay flaming gays who sully the Cult of Tranquility’s public image. I’m guessing Adam Lambert will not be converting anytime soon.

So, how did the truth revealing journalists report this Christmas Day carnage enacted by a male member of the Peace People? Here’s how: They called Aziz the “Santa Killer” who was down on his financial and relational luck whom his neighbors regarded as a decent gent who loved his family and liked to do yard work.

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In others words, he was a Mr. Rogers with a tan who had a bad day. And haven’t we all had a bad day? Of course we have, and that’s why Daniel Powter wrote his now famous song.

Look, folks, it is obvious: If you want to commit heinous acts and not have your faith called out for your despicable crimes, you probably ought to seriously think about switching religions to the Sect of Serenity because they always get a free ride in the free press. Indeed, precious few of the mainstreamers said this massacre was carried out by a “you know who” for “you know what” reasons. Y’know what I’m saying?

Indeed, the “Santa Killer” got the same treatment from reporters that Nidal Malik Hasan, also a member of the Communion of Calmness, received after the Ft. Hood bloodbath—I’m sorry, the Ft. Hood “workplace violence” situation. Wink, wink.

For those interested, here’s a laundry list of some recent honor killings carried out by the fathers, brothers and leaders within the Religion of Peace.

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