It’s a well-established scientific fact that liberals are horrible people. Those leftists dependent upon suckering others out of their money in order to make a living are among the worst of the worst, ranking right up there with anyone with a weak Ph.D. demanding to be called “doctor” (looking at you, Jill), and people named “Clinton.” So when the new year started, it was of little surprise many of these despicable people immediately set out to dip into the wallets of others.
After ending 2021 with panicked emails about arbitrary fundraising deadlines and how short they were from hitting their “goals,” these groups began 2022 with panicked emails about arbitrary fundraising deadlines and how short they were from hitting their “goals.”
The group “Stop Republicans” loves the tactic of pretending they’re way short of the money they need and may be forced to pack it in if people don’t give. Their January 1st email starts, “it was a hard decision to have to send this email. But Democrats are about to lose our shot at winning the Senate Majority...we’re going to hand Mitch McConnell complete control over Joe Biden. Almost no one -- seriously, NO ONE -- has donated to boost Democratic Voter Turnout in the states we need to keep the Senate (AZ, GA, NH, and NV). If we miss our Monday 80,000 donation goal, our chances of securing the Senate are DONE. McConnell wins again. We. Would. CRY. So this is your FINAL chance to do the right thing! We are BEGGING you to donate.”
Bringing the writing of a 12-year-old girl with them into the new year, I’m pretty sure the number of donors has nothing to do with the price of tea in China. Nothing. But they’re using this made up number to convey a sense of desperation. Who the hell is attracted to a sense of desperation? The dumb.
“CNN predicted Democrats could LOSE four Senate seats, so the only way to turn things around is by BOOSTING Democratic Voter Turnout to historic heights,” the email continues. “That’s why we set a lofty fundraising goal of 80,000 gifts by our Monday deadline. We’ll use that money to SURGE Democratic turnout and DEFEAT Trump’s Republicans. But Derek, we are still 71,564 donations short of that goal. So we need you to rush at least $5 to save our Senate Majority.”
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Being 71,564 short of anything is a big miss, but to be that short of an 80,000 goal is horrendous.
Don’t get me wrong, they’re lying – these numbers are made up to instill a sense of worry in nervous liberals with low IQs and active bank accounts. But what does it say about the mindset of these groups, and what they think of their supporters, that they think missing a goal by 89 percent, thereby implying who wildly unpopular you are, is a good fundraising tactic?
A search of my emails from the last year returned 84 results with the words “almost no one” and “donated.” They’ve been doing this for a long time.
In fact, last January 1st, the very same group – Stop Republicans – sent an email under the subject line, “not mad, just disappointed.” In it, that email complained, “Derek, after emailing you again and again, we thought good Democrats would be rushing to help us win the Georgia runoffs and flip the Senate… But we were wrong. Almost no one -- seriously, no one -- is donating to elect Rev. Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff. And Trump’s trip to Georgia on Monday could be the FINAL NAIL in the coffin of their campaigns. So if we don’t raise 32,806 more donations in the next 48 hours, our hopes of a Democratic Senate.”
They played no role in the Georgia run-offs, but they made bank in the process with these pathetic “no one gave us anything” emails. They’re like the guy who picks up chicks by whining about how his ex-girlfriend was mean to him. It works on the weak-minded.
It makes sense that these groups would start the new year the way they always have, the way they spend every day between January firsts: by lying. It’s what they do, what they have to do. And, to some extent, it works. You’ll never go broke underestimating the lack of intelligence of liberals. Welcome to 2022.
