OK, there’s no “good” part of this, but I had to make the play on the Clint Eastwood movie. I’m talking, of course, about the latest stupidity from left-wing fundraising emails. This week’s installment involves panicked pleas about the Virginia Governor’s race, the filibuster, and fake deadlines from the Speaker of the House. Each more unhinged than the last, but the steady stream of BS gives them the collective flow Democrats are known for.
Taking them in reverse order, Nancy Pelosi has been busy grubbing for all the money she can get her hands on. “I won’t sugarcoat it: Our Democratic House Majority is in serious trouble,” an email last week started. “But I’m more fired up than ever before to defend my House Democrats and safeguard our progress,” she continues. “And with such high stakes, I know it will take everything we’ve got to defeat these Republicans and come out on top.”
What are the stakes 13 months before the election? None. And knowing that, Pelosi manufactures a sense of urgency by engaging in one of the fundraising world’s tested stand-by fake pressure tactics: lying about made-up deadlines.
“So I’ve set a mission-critical $125,000 Mid Month fundraising goal for my House Democrats -- and we simply must meet it if we want any hope of halting this Republican momentum in House races before it completely overpowers us,” she proclaims. There is no such thing as a “Mid Month fundraising goal,” whether property hyphenated and oddly capitalized or not. But just begging for money without a sense of urgency, real or imagined, would be about as successful as appointing Bernie Sanders to lead your budgeting process. Wait, Democrats did that too.
On behalf of the crazier wing of the party, the Democratic Strategy Institute sent around a plea under the subject line, “Amy Klobuchar is WARNING [don’t ignore her!!!]” What is this warning? They write, “Amy Klobuchar is warning us… We must abolish the filibuster!” Continuing, “If we don’t abolish the filibuster now, we’ll lose EVERYTHING.” You can tell they’re serious by the use of CAPS LOCK!
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So what are they going to do to abolish the filibuster? They’re going to collect money from the public. Yeah, that’s about it. “But we need OVERWHELMING public pressure to get it done,” they declare. “So will you chip in to demand Congress abolish the filibuster?” Who knew that changing the way the United States Senate conducts itself was as simple as rubes electronically transferring funds to a gang of grifters fully removed from any position of power whatsoever?
“But if every single one of our amazing supporters STEPS UP before midnight, we’ll have the momentum to abolish the filibuster once and for all!” they insist. Last time I checked, the filibuster is still in place, so I have to assume that means they didn’t raise the cash.
Finally, in Virginia Democrats are starting to wet themselves. It’s still their race to lose, but their idiot candidate, Clinton family goon Terry McAuliffe, keeps being what most people find disgusting: himself.
The Democratic Governors Association flung out a largely visual email pointing out how the race has become a “toss-up,” then declared, “If Democrats Lose VA, We Could Shatter Our Chances in 2022 and Beyond…” If you can’t con your audience into thinking they want to get on board with a sure winner, try to scare them into thinking the only thing preventing victory is their unwillingness to part with a few dollars from their wallet. It’s simple, basic, and it works on people who are both simple and basic.
To put a huge cherry on top, the email invokes the name and image of the fading liberal saint Stacey Abrams. Yes, her star has faded since she screwed up and her lies cost Atlanta $100 million with the loss of the baseball All-Star Game, but she still has a little bit of shine remaining among the incredibly stupid and blinded by partisanship crowd. “There are just 16 days left until the election. We don’t have any time to waste. That’s why Stacey Abrams is asking YOU, Derek to fight back before it’s too late. Will you chip in $1, or whatever you can, to help us defend Democratic strongholds like Virginia?”
Weird how one day Virginia is a toss-up, and the next it’s a “Democratic stronghold,” isn’t it? Whatever works to get the cash. The next 2 weeks are going to see insane, the panic button will be fully pressed to the point of breaking. Not because Democrats are really worried they’ll lose, but because they know that this election is their last chance for a while to really scare the hell out of dimwitted donors about false deadlines and upcoming votes.
It’s pathetic and crazy, and only going to get more pathetic and crazier. In other words, more progressive.
