Al Franken Book Portrays Conservative Pundits Being Shot in the Head, Soliciting Prostitutes

Posted: Jun 16, 2008 7:13 PM
Al Franken Book Portrays Conservative Pundits Being Shot in the Head, Soliciting Prostitutes

A passage from a book by comedian and Minnesota Democratic Senate candidate Al Franken describes one prominent conservative being shot in the head and another soliciting a prostitute, among other graphic images.

The chapter, a satirical short story, portrays the cowardly and bumbling actions of several conservative commentators deployed as a squad to Vietnam. Titled “Operation Chickenhawk,” it was included in Franken’s 1996 book Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations as a scathing rebuttal to conservative criticisms of then-President Bill Clinton’s draft dodging.

In the passage, Franken jokes about conservative author Bill Bennett getting shot in the head and the effect it had on columnist George Will, whom Franken calls “Stoner” and portrays as being addicted to acid.

“First day in 'Nam, Stoner saw a buddy get greased,” Franken writes. “Guy named Bill Bennett. Got it right in the eyes. Stoner tried to plug the hole, came up holding a handful of goop that used to be Bennett's brain. It was pretty grotesque, bizarre and grotesque to be honest. Stoner hasn't been the same since.”

Former Republican Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, another member of the squad, is portrayed reminiscing about an encounter with a prostitute at a Saigon bar. After the woman profanely offers him sex, Gingrich asks her to do “terrible things” to him.

Other highlights include radio host Rush Limbaugh continually soiling himself with fear, former Republican Senator Phil Gramm shooting Oliver North in the back when North demands that the squad attack a band of Viet Cong, and columnist Pat Buchanan making a homosexual advance on Newt Gingrich.

Minnesota Republicans have criticized Franken’s satire for being vulgar and inappropriate. Most recently, they unearthed a Playboy article Franken penned in 2000 in which he explicitly describes oral sex being performed on him, which prompted several lawmakers in the state to send him a letter demanding an apology.

Franken is currently trailing incumbent Minnesota Senator Norm Coleman 48 percent to 45 percent, according to a recent Rasmussen poll.

Note: Readers can Watch video of Al Franken reading “Operation Chickenhawk”.