The recent Arizona Senate debate between Republican Blake Masters, Democrat Mark Kelly, and that Libertarian who was eerily focused on the age of consent laws being way too high, taught us two important things besides that you should never let a Libertarian babysit your tween. First, Mark Kelly is going to get crushed, and second, he’s short, and after Blake beats him in November, he should find something else to do with his life, like toiling for mithril in the mines of Moria or maybe bearing a ring to Mordor.
Blake is surging, and he’s not alone. Conservative candidates for the Senate, written off by the Establishment as a bunch of crazy Trumpy radicals, are looking like they are going to win all or most of the key races. How do we know? Well, don’t believe the polls (even the good ones) but do consider their direction, as well as the directions of gas prices (up) and the stock market (down). Oh, and there’s that whole nuclear war thing. Everybody loves their Ukrainian flags and emojis until hydrogen bombs start detonating over their hometown.
All the smart people told us that we need to write off Arizona because Blake is too, well, something to win. But even before the debate Tiny Mark, the guy who puts the “ass” in “astronaut,” was losing ground. Then he stood there on that debate stage – yes, he was standing up – as Blake loomed above him just pummeling him on the open border, on 87,000 new IRS agents, even on water rights. He labeled Miniature Mark as California’s third senator – ouch – and super-glued him to Biden.
If I had any sympathy for Democrats, I would have felt some after that brutal pummeling, but I don’t, so I laughed. Come November, it seems likely that Mark Kelly will need a new career – I hear Willy Wonka is hiring down at the chocolate factory.
But the good now is not only in Arizona. Next door in Nevada, where the grudging consensus even among leftist journalists is that my pal Adam Laxalt is well ahead of another Schumer Stepford Senator, whose name escapes me because she made zero impression during her time in DC. She’s stuck explaining how inflation was about 1.5% when Trump left office and is at least 8% now under the guy she votes with every single time. She’s a real piece of work – she does things like attend events for the “Latinx” community that does not exist outside of blue-check Twitter and university seminars. Actual Hispanics, who are tired of subsidizing bums with their taxes and paying more at the pump because of the bizarre pagan weather religion of the wine women of San Francisco and Manhattan, are not falling for it. The Latinx Revolt and the concurrent move of Hispanics to the GOP is perhaps the biggest story of this cycle and a true nightmare for the Democrats.
But black voters are swinging right as well, particularly men. In Georgia, that may well mean defeat for the incumbent governor, Stacy Abrams – whether she admits it or not remains to be seen. In the GA Senate race, the Democrats tried to dump a bunch of slime on Herschel Walker hoping that pro-life people would be so busy clutching their pearls that they would let radical abortion-up-to-kindergarten fanatic Raphael Warnock win because of principles and stuff. Nope – we are woke to that okey-doke and it is not happening. Herschel’s going to win it.
The Lump is losing ground to Dr. Oz in Pennsylvania. Besides the bizarre growth on his neck, which is independently running for a seat on a local water board, the people of the Keystone State are having to consider Fetterman’s terrible policy positions, like the one on letting murderers out of jail early and if they kill someone else, oh well. That’s probably a really good argument for appealing to key Democrat constituencies like college professors, purple-haired nineteen-year-olds with daddy issues, and murderers, but not normal people. And Pennsylvanians are resolutely normal people. They are not going to be swung by Fetterman’s recent endorsement by the American Association of Phrenologists.
As people get to know Dr. Oz, they come around. I have watched him, talked to people who know him, and spoken to him myself. I was struck both by his intelligence – there are not a lot of dumb cardiac surgeons – and his genuine love for the country that gave him so much. I went from skeptical to proud to support him because he earned my support. The more Pennsylvanians get to know him, the better they like him. And it helps that he’s not a freakish communist ogre who can’t form a coherent sentence.
The Democrats keep approaching the Ohio race against JD Vance with all the misplaced hope of a Bulwark staffer’s bride approaching her wedding night – of course, what is going to figurately happen to Tim Ryan will not end up happening to the bride, at least not for nearly as long. Ryan is a 100% Pelosi pet whose voting record is a match for Marin County, not Mahoning County. JD is going to crush him.
There are some other mildly contested races out there. Eric Schmitt, Missouri’s terrific and very America First attorney general, will walk away with that race since the Show Me State showed us its wisdom in not nominating the flawed Eric Greitens. Ted Budd should beat the radical Dem in North Carolina. People have high hopes for Joe O’Dea in Colorado, though I got some inside info that his longshot challenge against the incumbent Democrat timeserver is looking a bit longer. He recently announced that George W. Bush was coming out to campaign for him, which raises the question of whether Mitt Romney was available – not a great move in my view. Mitt, like W another garbage back-stabbing jerk who masquerades as a gentleman but eagerly betrays his supporters whenever he wants to suck up to his country club caste, will not support Mike Lee in Utah. It won’t matter. Lee will scramble Egg McMullin – his for-sale pollsters generating fake reports of a close race should get their money up-front.
Tiffany Smiley in Washington is a great candidate. Unfortunately, Washington has become a communist garbage state so it will be tough though doable in a big red year. Dan Bolduc in New Hampshire has been written off by most people against Bidenette Maggie Hasson, but again, in a good red year, he could make it happen. On the upside, he’s (old) Army, though he’s a general on the downside. Don’t write him off though.
Now, what needs to happen? Money. Mitch McConnell needs to get off the sidelines in Arizona and send some cash to Blake. The rumor is that the Murder Turtle fears a guy like Blake in the Senate. Well, he’s coming, and maybe the smart play is to bury the hatchet under a pile of C-notes right now.
And Donald Trump needs to come in hard with cash too. He backed a lot of these guys in the primary, so if they win, he wins. But if they lose, Trump gets the blame, and he should. Conservatives are getting annoyed that Trump seems to be hoarding cash instead of helping. What he needs to do now is write some checks and tell everyone about it. And so do all of you!
Get activated, get out there, and get this win won. We’re looking good – the over/under is 52 seats – so it’s time to run up the score. Break them, like Blake broke Mini-Mark.
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