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OPINION

Oh No, Some Leftist Jerks Called Me a 'Hypocrite'

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Ben Gray

Does this amateur-hour manipulation ever work? Does the howling of libs that you are somehow morally inadequate in some way that one might think would matter to conservatives constitute an effective tool for compelling our social obedience? So, Hershel Walker got accused of funding an abortion a decade ago and I’m against abortions so when I mentioned on the Twitters that I did not care even if, in the off chance, this anonymous accusation was true, the memo went out…

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“Kurt, you are a hypocrite and lack principles!”

Okay, and?

I mean, if you are present in the social media world as anything but a scum-sucking communist cheese-weasel wokeoid, then you are already pretty much the antichrist. You get called racist, imperialist, Islamophobic, transphobic, sexist, ableist, fatist, a cultural appropriator, a Jesus gun nut, a semi-fascist, a full fascist, worse than fascist, a fascist fatist, and every other conceivable combination of meaningless noises. So, adding “unprincipled hypocrite of hypocrisy” is simply making the rubble bounce. I’m not sweating a couple more spittle-sprayed slurs issued from the mouths of morons.

“Yeah, after all the abuse and slanders, it was the allegation of unprincipled hypocrisy about Hershel Walker that finally made me take that personal inventory. I have, and now I want to defund the police, give money to bums, and burn the flag. Oh, and subsidize abortion on demand through puberty. Thank you, internet rando, for helping with my moral evolution!”

I’m frankly not seeing where they get the idea that throwing down the hypocrisy and lack of principles cards is going to make me obey, but they do have that idea. It’s related to the, “And you’re a bad Christian for not adopting my socialist agenda” move, and that doesn’t work on me either.

Does it work on anyone? Let’s pretend for a second that this claim isn’t cynical nonsense promulgated by leftist turds and take it seriously. I know, the proper response is to laugh at them, but for the sake of argument, let’s explore their argument.

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Let’s assume that the Daily Beast’s anonymous abortion girl actually exists. I know, when I want honest news that is never ever Democrat propaganda invented from whole cloth, it’s off to whatever the Daily Beast is for the objective truth, but go with me. 

And let’s assume Hershel threw in the bucks to do it a decade ago, and let’s assume that a decade later, he’s the same guy with no changes or evolution. 

Okay, what now?

What are we somehow compelled to do within this allege moral framework?

Well, in the calculus of the moral illiterates of the left, because a candidate once participated in an abortion by paying for it (they would also whine if he did not pay for it, so whatever) then we are morally compelled to not vote for him a decade later when he is a sure vote against abortion. In fact, we are morally compelled to effectively support the other guy, who wants not only abortions up to eight months, three weeks, six days and twenty-three hours and fifty-nine minutes but also wants you and me to pay for them.

Now, I would be confused by this conundrum if I did not understand that everything liberals say when they talk about morality makes as much sense as everything Bitey the Corgi of Terror says when she talks about particle physics.

It’s not a rational argument designed to make you reevaluate your beliefs in light of new facts. It’s the kind of durwood thought process a bong-hitting sophomore at Gumbo State thinks is brilliant when imparted by some man-bunned teaching assistant in his Introduction to  Freaking Out Your Bourgeois Parents 101 seminar at Gumbo State.

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Look, they are just trying to morally intimidate you into doing what they want. And if you have any doubt, do what I do. Ask them what the Hypocrisy Rule regarding candidates is.

Well?

So, what is the rule on hypocrisy? How does it work? What qualifies as hypocrisy? And, importantly, what is the rule about how we are obligated to respond upon the detection of hypocrisy?

Apparently, the Hypocrisy Rule requires us to abandon Hershel because he allegedly fell short a decade ago on the abortion issue, and thereby allow his abortion superfreak opponent the chance to call a Code Red on every fetus from the Florida Keys to Nome, Alaska.

Does the Hypocrisy Rule only apply to abortion, or does it apply to any bad conduct? What about, I dunno, creeping on women? Say the guy poses as Mr. Woman Defender and, I dunno, showered with his daughter and got very, very handsy in the Senate tunnel with an aide. Is that a Qualified Hypocrisy Event™ or not? If so, would that not compel every defender of womankind to forgo voting for Badfinger even if it meant that someone who, I dunno, tweets means stuff, might stay president? 

If not, why not? I vote that it does count. We are voting on this, right? Or is the Hypocrisy Rule just to be applied intermittently and situationally whenever our betters in the Regime Media decide to do so with no input from us?

I’d be very confused if I did not know what time it was and realize that this is all a seething cauldron of crap.

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To the extent you care, stop caring what they think. They hate you, and they want you enslaved or dead. Appeals to morals, principles, and consistency are simply another weapon system they deploy to try to get you to forgo your own interests in return for a tiny interregnum in their hurricane of hatred before they find something else to hate you about.

Oh no, you have failed to meet the exacting moral standards of people who think castrating kids is awesome. Good!

Now, will some soft people still allow this chicken scratch ploy to work and give up on a Senate seat we should take? Will the Fredocons be so scandalized that they will embrace a commie Schumer toe-suck like Warnock instead of soiling their pristine little fingies voting for Hershel Walker. Well, ask president Felonia Milhous von Pantsuit how much that Access Hollywood tape helped beat Donald Trump. 

So, if we continue to support Hershel, will you progs think of us as hypocrites with no principles? You shouldn’t. We’d be more than that. You progs should think of us as hypocrites with no principles with another Democrat Senate seat. And we won’t think of you at all.

Conservatives Must Fight Back Against the Radical Left. Join Townhall VIP, Support Our Reporting, And Check Out Last Week's Stream of Kurtiousness, Democrats Are Going to Pay, and my podcast, Unredacted

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