Opinion

Here Are Some Questions For Joe Biden

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Posted: Sep 21, 2020 12:01 AM
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Here Are Some Questions For Joe Biden

Source: AP Photo/Patrick Semansky

If our media was not a bubbling cauldron of dung, Grandpa Badfinger would be getting hit with real questions instead of being lobbed inane softballs like “Some people say Trump is literally Hitler, while others say he is only figuratively Hitler – what kind of Hitler do you think Trump is?” 

But our media is a bubbling cauldron of dung, and these hacks are never going to ask that crusty crustacean the kind of questions the American people want – and need – to hear answered. And preferably without them having been pre-screened and typed into a teleprompter.

Now, with Ginsberg dying on the eve of the election – as I predicted – for a while, no one is going to want to ask him about anything but questions like “Just how wrong is it for the guy the people elected to nominate a Supreme Court justice during his term?” and they will ignore his answers like, “The tennis court is what now? When I played tennis, the kids rubbed the hair on my legs. They called it macaroni. I was Joe Macaroni, and no one messed with Joe Mac!

But there are other questions, important ones, questions like…

Dude, you're as old as dirt. I mean, you are ancient. You move like the tin man after a rain with an oil ban because the Green New Deal in effect and there’s no fracking. How the hell could you ever be president?

Somebody has to ask him about his manifest physical decrepitude – the guy is ricketier than a greased-up Jenga tower on the San Andreas Fault. It is a legit inquiry to ask whether Gropey J has the physical capacity to perform this gig. We all see these young and vital guys get inaugurated and they come out of office looking like Dorian Gray’s portrait after he spent a week at Freaknik. The only guy who seems to have defied the ravages of time whilst in the Oval Office is Trump – he seems sleeker, more energetic, and even more potent now than before he beat Felonia Milhous von Pantsuit. Maybe it’s because he bathes each day in the healing tears of his liberal enemies.

Hey gramps, you make Mr. Magoo look like Marilyn vos Savant. You get lost in your basement breakfast nook. You speak with the bizarre cadence of a 1920s-era Charlie Manson at a coffee house open mic poetry slam. If you aren’t senile, what the hell is your excuse, and why should we hand you the Big Red Button?

Someone has to ask about the demented donkey in the room. The guy has obviously boarded the last train to Senilesville and the only thing that keeps him going is probably Namenda on an IV drip. Okay, I know this seems obvious, but we can’t have a senile president. A comatose one, well, I’ll hear out those arguments. But one who’s baffled by can openers and who channels Elwood P. Dowd? No thanks. 

And you can’t just ask him “So, some right-wingers are pouncing on your alleged physical and mental decline. Uh, do you need a towel for that drool? Anyhoo, how do you respond to this blizzard of lies?” The decrepitude issue needs to be explored slowly, methodically, and firmly. But it won’t be. Because he’ll get agitated and stand up and start yelling that “I’m not senile! I’m not, you hun-hugging pillow sack!” and his fly will be open and no one wants that.

We deserve some answers about his policies too, or rather the policies of the people pulling his strings.

Trump whacked Soleimani and 86’ed the Iran Deal, but if you had your way Soleimani would still be kickin’ it old school and the mullahs would be getting FedEx’d pallets of Benjamins. Under you and Obama, the Middle East peace process was less effective than a Bulwark staffer on his wedding night while Trump is closing the deal. Doesn’t he deserve credit for doing what you helped botch?”

Like our entire garbage foreign policy establishment, Biden bought into the idea that if only the Israelis abased themselves to the Palestinian terrorists enough, everything would be cool. Someone ought to ask how he could have been so wrong. Good luck with that. And then there’s RUSSIA! RUSSIA! RUSSIA!

Trump has made NATO pay more to defend itself from Russia, sanctioned the Russian Nordstream II gas pipeline, gave lethal aid to Ukraine, and literally killed Russians in Syria. How is Trump Putin’s pal and what worse would you do to Russia?

The Russia stuff is painfully stupid – as I discuss in depth in my book The 21 Biggest Lies about Donald Trump (and You!)! – and Butch Biden ought to explain how he’ll be even more tuff.

Of course, the Chinese coronavirus is a thing. There are a clear series of questions there…

You say Trump allowed ~200,000 COVID deaths. What number of deaths would have occurred if you were in office? At your CNN town hall, you said no one would have died. You still going with that?

You called Trump’s late January ban on flights from China ‘xenophobic’ because of course you did. Would you have ever banned such flights, and if so, when, and how many additional deaths would your pathetic lefty virtue signaling have caused?

You support the BLM/Antifa protests but you also support banning church services.  Does science teach us that anti-American hate provides immunity to the flu, or are you just trying to screw with religious normal Americans to give your pinko supporters some jollies?

Speaking of Antifa, do you believe it exists, and is it a bad thing or a good thing?

That cop was good to go for capping that knife wielding freak in Lancaster, right? Or was he morally obligated to let that psycho gut him because America is bad?

If you defund the police – oh wait, ‘reimagine’ the police – who is going to arrest the millions of Americans who own the guns you want to outlaw? Also, how many years in prison should an American citizen who has lawfully had an AR-15 for a decade serve once you make it illegal? Is the reason you want to release actual criminals to make room for these new prisoners for the new gun ownership crimes you intend to create?

There are some other issues the media is allowing him to elide over, like immigration.

During the primary, you said you support giving free health care to illegal aliens. Why should hardworking Americans who pay for their own health care also pay for doctors for people who broke our laws and should not even be here?

And, of course, there is the follow up:

You support ending border enforcement and the deportation of illegal aliens. What is the number of immigrants you think should be allowed in the US, or do you not think there should be any limit? Is ten million too many, about right, or not enough?

There’s more…

You have said before you would ban fracking and now, when you really need Pennsylvania, you say you will not ban fracking. But if climate change is an existential threat of extistentialness, how can you not sacrifice those million Pennsylvania jobs to save the world, which science-smart people like AOC tell us will end in 10 years?

John Kerry was famous for being for stuff before he was against it, and that kind of switcheroo is poison. That’s why the mainstream media won’t touch it. In fact, after the full-release CNN town hall, the media actively covered for his flip-flop. But someone needs to hold Oldfinger to his nonsense, and if he really thinks a slight change in the weather in a century will doom us all then, of course, that means that a few million swing voters need to lose their jobs for the good of the whole, right?

You’re a big fan of believing the science and I was wondering if you believe that science says a man can become a woman via the magic of wanting to?

The left and the Fredocon squishes hate when we conservatives go on the offensive in the culture war, and that’s because cultural issues matter to real people, meaning they are real effective appeals since the elite always attempt to ignore them. But why should this desiccated fungus get away with dodging these issues? There are a number of culture war follow-ups as well:

Are people uptight bigots if they don’t want their teen daughters sharing a locker room with a turgid teen boy who decided last week that he is now a teen girl?

Is it cool to abort a baby at eight months, 29 days because the mom feels like it?

According to the book White Fragility, all white people are racist. Now, you’re totally white – not Miracle Whip Mitt white, but pretty damn white – so doesn’t that make you racist? If so, isn’t your entire candidacy just more white supremacy?”

And, of course, now more than ever:

If Party Hardy Brett Kavanaugh was disqualified for SCOTUS because some woman said he molested her, aren’t you disqualified by Tara Reade saying you molested her even worse? If not, are there any other circumstances, besides ‘The accused is a Democrat,’ where we should not believe the woman?

It should get really, really awkward when he gets pressed on the inevitable groping allegations against Amy Coney Barrett.

Oh, there are more, many more good questions. But we’ll never hear them – not until there is a sense that Bad Touch Biden is already going down. That may happen soon. The Harris/Biden ticket is in trouble. 

Brace yourself for the next disastrous Biden misstep – them pulling out of the debate. Oh, they’ll blame Trump for making them do it – “I won’t stand on a stage with a racist who is not my good friend, like Senator and Exalted Cyclops Robert Byrd!” – but no one else will buy the excuse, except the media. That bubbling cauldron of dung will buy whatever the Democrat elite tells it to buy, and that’s what none of these questions or any like them will get asked until it no longer matters.

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