Opinion

Here’s What’s Going to Happen in 2020

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Posted: Dec 30, 2019 12:01 AM
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Here’s What’s Going to Happen in 2020

Source: AP Photo/John Bazemore

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If you thought you can’t top the stupidity we experienced in 2019, brace yourself for 2020 because it’s going to be a pronoun-fueled weather cult pinko freakshow. But it won’t be all amusing antics – the left hates us and its ugly mask is coming off, revealing the even uglier fascist visage lurking beneath. If you listen to them, and if you aren’t an insufferable goo goo wimp who refuses to hear them, you will know that they intend to silence you, even imprison you, and deprive you of the ability to participate in your own governance. So, if you want to live as a free man or woman – if they have their way, they’ll destroy you for recognizing that unalterable binary – best be ready. 

Be motivated to engage in the cultural melee. 

Vote. 

And buy guns and ammo. As my favorite literary creation famously says, no one has ever regretted being too well armed.

With that in mind, here are my predictions for 2020:

10. Trump Will Be Impeached…Yawn: Poor, flailing Nancy Pelosi will eventually transmit the articles of impeachment to the Senate, thereby actually impeaching the President. Now, whether Pelosi’s current antics constitute “impeachment” or not is irrelevant, except denying it due to her gamesmanship is fun because it owns the libs. No one cares, and to the limited extent we normal people do, this alleged impeachment is a badge of honor for the President. Her fringe-driven delay tactics make the Dems look dumber, and eventually she will send it to the Senate where Cocaine Mitch will kill it. Sure, some of the useless GOP caucus will make noises about how this clusterfark must be taken seriously because principles and honor and stuff. Saps. They just better take seriously that we in the base will electorally eviscerate them if they vote to convict. Maybe Mitt the Gimp will vote for it because he’s weak and stupid. Maybe Senator Iglookowski (RINO-AK) will too. But in the end, Trump will triumph and yet again humiliate his opponents.

9. The Economy Will Stay Strong, Disappointing Democrats: The party of the workin’ man is already in mourning because the Trump economy has finally brought some prosperity back to the workin’ man instead of concentrating wealth among the globalist liberal gentry that Obama served. The media will cheerlead for a recession; the Democrats will try to ignore the new Roaring 20s, but America’s success will remain a nightmare for liberals during 2020.

8. Virginia Will Declare War on Its Citizens: The liberals recently elected as moderates in the Old Dominion will reveal their true colors as they attempt to crush dissent wherever voters were stupid enough to elect them. The Virginia left will not back down – it will attempt to criminalize vast numbers of citizens and bend them to its will using violence and legal terrorism if need be. This will provoke a counterreaction that will make it clear to moderates that electing liberals means voting for conflict, not just center-left business as usual like with old school Democrats. Look for it to get ugly. They think they can break our will, and they will learn they can’t. This will energize conservatives across the country.

7. Replacing Justice Ginsburg: She’s had a good run but the opponent conservatives tend to most respect for being tough is playing a losing game against statistics. It is not to wish ill upon her to say that time is not on her side; in 2020, it is very, very likely Donald Trump will be replacing her. Count on the Murder Turtle not to buy into an interpretation of the Garland Rule that ties his hands – it’s confirmation time. The Democrats will go even nuttier than usual, but too bad. Just get ready for future Justice Amy Coney Barrett to have to explain that, yes, she likes beer, and no, she didn’t run a rape gang in elementary school.

6. Trans Fascism Backlash: Normal people are getting tired of being told they have to lie and say there are 631 sexes, and they are tired of militant jerks wanting boys hanging out in their girls’ locker room, and they are getting sick of boys winning girls’ sports championships. J.K. Rowling, who is otherwise a leftist doofus, recently survived social media cancelation for telling the truth that sex is real. The rest of us will be roused to action – people were trying to be polite, but now it’s all too stupid and obnoxious to tolerate. There is a big difference between being kind and not adding to the pain of people with real issues, and with being forced by drag bullies and their allies to publicly affirm what everyone knows is false. Look for more and more people, prominent and not prominent, to be told that they must agree that men can get pregnant and that women can have penises, and to answer, “No.”

5. Pardon This: We will see the President pardon the victims of Deep State vendettas designed to overturn the election of 2016. General Mike Flynn, Roger Stone, and Paul Manafort will all be cleared, probably right after the election. Which is good, because we will need the cells for…

4. Durham’s Indictments: The investigation into the soft coup is going to turn up wrongdoing that the entrenched leftist bureaucracy can’t shove under the rug anymore. John Durham telegraphed his righteous retribution when he publicly rejected IG Horowitz’s pathetic shrug over the Deep State’s shenanigans. We’re going to see some folks finally held to account. Not all of them – not Felonia Milhous von Pantsuit, not that Looming Doofus Comey, but others. It’s an important first step in defeating the cancer on our government that is having these Democrat partisans in positions of power in the bureaucracy.

3. Foreign Policy Success: With the National Security Council under the properly low-key and sober guidance of Robert O’Brien (I know him – great guy and perfect for this job), America will continue to rebuild its strength, wind down open-ended military commitments, force allies to do their part, and avoid unnecessary conflicts. Iran will continue to destabilize, but we will not go to war – we will neuter the mullahs economically and let the Persian people deal with their oppressors. China has some strengths but many weaknesses – we will exploit those and build a trade relationship based on reciprocity instead of American submission. NATO countries will reluctantly fork over their dues, and our relationship with the UK will become even more special now that it is free of the EU’s yoke. Foreigners finally understand – America will use every element of its power to defend American interests, so behave. Also, we will get the Space Force going (long overdue) and move toward a 355-ship Navy (very long overdue). Finally, look for a promotion for America’s most effective diplomat (and future GOP presidential contender) Richard Grenell.

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2. Democrats Will Lose the House: They took the House back promising to be pragmatic do-gooders who would work across party lines to do the people’s business blah blah blah blah blah. It was all garbage. The ones that weren’t actively defiling hotel room furniture via naked hair brushing grossness with underlings were obediently obeying Pelosi’s commands. “Impeach? Yes, ma’am, right away, ma’am.” And what were they doing that was useful to their voters? Nothing – America’s biggest problem is not that Democrats have too little control.

1. Trump Will Get Reelected: There are a number of reasons, many recited above. But the most important is that God looks out for the United States. Oh, and the Dems will nominate Biden, who will choose Sitting Bolshevik as his VP (He’s gotta choose a girl and Willie Brown’s Ex is out for dissing him and he can’t choose Amy Tantrum Gal Klobuchar because he needs to nail down the Dem’s commie wing). A fake Indian and a fake competent leader – great combo. Once nominated, Gropey J will continue to commit gaffes, only his slobbering media buddies won’t be able to keep hiding them. Plus, there’s the Lil’ Crackpipe factor. Hoover Biden, the nominee’s Snortunate Son, will have another crack issue, or another paternity suit, or maybe both – which the garbage media will tell us is none of our business and is not important. But it is. In the end, Trump will improve on his 2016 Electoral College numbers and win the popular vote too, at which point the liberals will turn against the entire concept of voting. 

I also predict that my newest novel Collapse will continue to be an Amazon bestseller, and that there will be another action-packed, hilarious novel coming next year once I finish my traditional non-fiction book for Regnery that is also due out in 2020. Go ahead and use that gift card you got at Christmas or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa to get the other entries in the series, People's Republic, Indian Country and Wildfire. Remember, every time you read one of my books, the Never Trump weenies who called them “appalling” sob and rend their sissy bow ties.

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