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OPINION

Get Ready For Apocalypse Ruth

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Rebecca Gibian

Progressives’ ghoulish glee over the death of an old man turned into barely constrained panic when, later that day, it was revealed that their heroine Ruth Bader Ginsberg was just treated for pancreatic cancer yet again. Their disgraceful joy at David Koch’s passing was yet another reminder of the harsh truth that leftists want you dead or enslaved. Koch’s sin was that he disagreed with liberals (though, in important ways, also with conservatives). For that, these cretins danced around like idiots celebrating his succumbing. And they’ll celebrate when you die too. Always believe people who tell you they hate you and want you dead.

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Oh, and never disarm.

Of course, RBG is eager to disarm you, and she would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for those meddling Supreme Court kids who actually read Second Amendment. Her constitutional jurisprudence consists of disregarding what she dislikes that’s in the Bill of Rights and making up stuff that’s not in it but that she feels – not thinks, feels – should be in it. She’s a terrible justice and conservatives would love to see her step down. But our side expressed no delight in her latest suffering comparable to the giddy revelry that greeted Koch’s kicking the bucket. We’re not monsters, though how long that remains true is up in the air. When you establish New Rules they tend to come back and bite you on the Schumer. 

Here’s a pro tip, liberal dummies. If you are going to normalize the hatred of political opponents and express open joy at their demise, the savvy play is to be the political faction that possesses and knows how to use AR-15s and not the one that agonizes over its pronouns. 

RBG’s latest successful MMA bout with the Grim Reaper is a reminder that we conservatives need to gird our loins for what’s coming when she finally leaves the Supreme Court for good. But our anticipatory loin girding is merely prudent preparation.  

In fact, most of us feel a grudging respect for Ginsburg as a worthy opponent and as one tough cookie. She’s like John McCain with a neck doily; he drove us up the wall too, but as a group we did not wish cancer on him.

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Not wanting her to die a horrible death is not to sugarcoat the damage she has done with her utterly upside-down vision of our founding document, but to simply reaffirm a point that never should have been an issue but is an issue because of the shameful behavior of liberals like we saw with Koch. We conservatives don’t want people to die simply because they have different political beliefs. 

But she’s very old and she’s very sick and facing that reality is not the same as high-fiving it. There’s a more than significant chance that before the 2020 election she will pass on to her reward despite her being the Energizer Bunny of being wrong wrong wrong about constitutional jurisprudence. She just keeps going and going and going, but someday she’s going to run out of juice and join her pal Antonin Scalia on the bench in the great beyond, and if that happens with Trump in the White House, ho boy.

You can relive the shameful saga of the Brett Kavanaugh hearings in Mollie Hemingway and Carrie Severino’s remarkable Justice on Trial. What will happen next time will pale in comparison. If you thought you saw frothy, mouth-foaming insanity last time -- just you wait.

The elite’s message will combine “Trump is illegitimate” with “Cocaine Mitch is breaking precedent” and “They’re going to bring back slavery when they establish The Handmaid’s Tale as the law of the land” with a bit of “This will shred the fabric of the nation we love so much that we support jerks who kneel during the National Anthem.” 

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The Democrats are already prepping the battlespace with this cheesy narrative. Obama’s brain David Axelrod tweeted: “If there is a SCOTUS vacancy next year and @senatemajldr carries through on his extraordinary promise to fill it-despite his own previous precedent in blocking Garland-it will tear this country apart.” I responded to this tweet by observing – employing terms that were a bit salty and therefore shall not be linked – that the last time Democrats failed to get their way and tore the country apart, we patriots (paraphrasing) handily defeated them. But hey Dems, maybe the second time’s the charm!

It’s not worth the time to dissect the wrong premise about confirming justices during an election year in Axelrod’s wrong tweet. Liberals are disinterested in argument, and the Murder Turtle running the Senate gets this and won’t even play their game. This is about power. On an objective level, perhaps Justice Ginsburg should step down, but she has the power not to and therefore it’s silly to whine about her not doing it. Similarly, we have the power to shove a new conservative Supreme Court justice down the Dems’ throats, so it’s silly to argue with the libs about it (though our objective case for doing it is strong). After a short and dignified interregnum, once the impending RBG vacancy becomes actively vacant, Donald Trump should unashamedly use the power of the office he was elected to and nominate a replacement, and Moscow Mitch should start rushin’ toward confirming him – or her.

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The fact is that soon we’re going to have six conservatives on SCOTUS, or actually, five-and-a-half if you count Justice Soft Serve Roberts.

And when this all goes down, the left will freak out in a festival of freaking outness unparalleled in American history. The Dem candidates will go nuts. Big Chief Warren will be on the warpath, Bernie will call for revolution, Harris will say whatever she thinks is useful, Biden will start talking about how JFK visited him in the White House, and Beto will continue to be a furry.

We’ll get lots of the “Orange man bad, orange man not nominate a judge because he bad” babble from the libs and their gimp media. Maddow will cry, Don Lemon will pound an umbrella drink and Tater Stelter will sweat profusely as he reads off the teleprompter about how Trump is literally Hitler. The Fredocons will weigh in with their patented brand of sissy submission to their elite tops. We’ll be informed how taking back the Supreme Court like the geebos of Conservative, Inc., promised for three decades is actually not who we are and how we’re better than that and how oh well I never. Can you imagine Jeb! or Mitt in this situation? They would eagerly, whole-heartedly buy into the compromise unity candidate ploy to stick some moderate muggle on the bench in order to “repair the heart of our country” and “build bridges” of bipartisan love.

Trump builds victories, and he’s going to blow up that bridge.

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My money is on him appointing Amy Coney Barrett, who has the unique ability to be a Scalia-like justice and to own the libs by being a woman. And not just any woman but a female woman who has kids and goes to church and is down with originalism like a boss. It’s going to be hard to paint her as the ringleader of a teen rape gang, and while her beer-appreciation status is yet unknown, it is unlikely she will have to explain to the dummies on the Judiciary Committee her high school clique’s unique flatulence euphemisms. 

But they will still try to destroy her. That’s their only move, one not unrelated to the giddy cheer that greeted David Koch’s death. All we conservatives did with whoever Merrick Garland was was tell him “No.” But if you are conservative and you oppose them, they will try to wipe you out, if not literally then at least figuratively. But that’s a desperation tactic and it does not work, not if you hold strong and refuse to back down. Clarence Thomas fought back and won. Brett Kavanaugh fought back and won. And Amy Coney Barrett will fight back and she will win.

And that means our Constitution will win.

Loins, commence girding.

Read a vivid account of what happens if the left establishes its dictatorship in the ruins of the blue states in my action-packed yet hilarious novels, People's Republic, Indian Country and Wildfire. Due to liberals being terrible, the United States splits into red and blue countries and if you think California is bad now, just wait. The Never Trump weenies hate my books, probably because people actually read my books, and these cruise-shilling losers tried to label them “Appalling” for mocking the Ahoy Boyz liberal masters. That’s a potent validation of my novels’ wokeness!

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