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A New Decade and a New Opportunity to Own the Libs

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of
Ben Hider/AP Images for Planet Fitness

Every new year is a wonderful new opportunity to own the libs. It’s kind of sad that we should look at things that way, but I like owning the libs and besides, I didn’t start this fight. They came along, wanted me enslaved and/or dead, and I’m not down with that. If you are, you may want to go subscribe to The Bulwark, whatever that is. They’re sissy-friendly over there, while here in the Townhall VIP section we’re all about the struggle.

It’s weird that it’s 2020. Who thought 2020 would ever be a thing? I remember when 1990 was this far-off future time. In 1999, the moon was supposed to blast out of orbit, maybe because Prince was partying or something. And in 2001, well, it was going to be really boring and meaningless, but it was way ahead in the future. And now? That’s history – people born in 2001 can vote (which is probably a mistake, but whatev).

As Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit says, “Where’s my flying car? I want my flying car!”

So, entering the third decade of the 2000s is weird.

Every year I write my predictions (yesterday’s free column was mine for 2020 – find it here if you haven’t read it already, and you should have totally already read it already. Every year I totally ignore the previous year's. But this year, just for us behind the paywall, we can explore just how well I prognosticated in my column last year… 

10. Out of Afghanistan: Not quite yet. The president is taking 4,000 more troops out of that useless morass, but we’re not gone yet. We should be. Maybe in 2020.

9. Michael Cohen Will Join A Prison Gang: It’s not clear how Mouthy Mike is faring in the slam, but now that he’s useless to the anti-Trump media he’s as in-demand as Cindy Sheehan. I was apparently wrong about him getting a book deal. 

8. Tackling Monster Tech: The fight against high tech has slowly revved up. They are under pressure to constrict conservative thought online, but conservatives hold a lot of power and it’s probably only going to increase. We’re becoming, finally, enemies to be feared. Maybe some of them will understand that if they aren’t neutral then they have taken a side, and the other side will treat them as opponents.

7. Lindsey Graham, American Hero: He was the most improbable conservative icon of 2018 and we hoped he was going to turn into the Right-Wing Avenger in 2019 as head of the Judiciary Committee. Wrong. He’s got plenty of time to go on TV, but apparently none to actually own the libs. Lindsey Graham is the most annoying GOP senator since John McCain. Oh wait, Mitt Romney exists. Forget it.

6. Hollywood Will Continue Its Ritual Suicide: Boy, I called this. Box office is down and Hollywood execs are baffled about why America refuses to line up to pay too much to be woke-schooled by libs. And in 2019, Hollywood found time to do two – two! – stories about Fox’s Roger Ailes but none of them could find time to do anything about Harvey Weinstein, Democrat donor, pal of the Clintons, Hollywood icon. Weird, huh?

5. Candidates and Candidon’ts: I was right that Felonia Milhous von Pantsuit would not run and I was technically wrong in that Gropey Joe Biden did run – sort of, if you can call his ridiculous candidacy running. From eating his wife’s fingers – when she wasn’t feeding foreigners – to antics with his loser spawn Lil’ Crackpipe, Joe ran, and it’s been amazing. I was right that Tex Kennedy O’Rourke and that gaseous fascist Nuke ‘Em Swalwell would flail. I thought Big Chief Sitting Bolshevik would too. She’s still in, but my projected frontrunner Kamala Harris is out. Like I said, pray for America.

4. It’s the Stupid, Economy: I was right when I predicted that the establishment will do everything it can to slow down the Trump economy going into 2020, and that the economy would do surprisingly well anyway. I was also right that the Democrats hate our prosperity. 2020 will be the unemployment rate/401(k) election.

3. Roberts, the Enleftening: I thought John Roberts would go Full Souter on us in 2019, and he sort of did with the census citizenship question. He’s certain to grovel to the establishment more in 2020. This is why we need another seat. Like I said last year, never go Full Souter.

2. Another Justice, And Full-Scale War: Okay, my timing was off. The fight for the next SCOTUS seat is likely to come in 2020. I still think Donald Trump will shrewdly pick a female Catholic (Amy Coney Barrett). I also still think the Democrats to be unable to control themselves and thereby alienate Catholics with ugly, bigoted attacks going into the election. Cocaine Mitch will get her confirmed anyway. And watch how I have exactly this same prediction next year!

1. Mueller’s Crock and Impeachment: I WAS DEAD ON! Here’s what I wrote last year and it was perfect:

“Righteous Integrity Bob and his pack of Democrats will drop their report next year, and it will show no collusion but hint at all sorts of nefarious stuff. MSNBC will go 24/7; patriots will shrug. But that doesn’t matter. No matter what, the Democrats are going to impeach Trump. But then the Senate has to remove him and that won’t happen. There are just not 20 or so GOP senators willing to destroy their careers and their party. And it will actually boomerang and help the president. Trump thrives in this sort of deathmatch octagon stuff. The independents will be annoyed that the obstructionist Dems are not willing to work with the GOP and go right heading into 2020. If you’re going to strike at the king, you really ought to make sure you don’t miss!”

Damn, I am good. 

What’s up for me in 2020? My latest novel Collapse is still an Amazon hit after five weeks, which is gratifying. I’m going to write another one in 2020, but first I have a non-fiction book I need to write for Regnery. It will come out in 2020 at some point – I have about a month to finish it, but that’s okay – I’m deep in it and it’s….well, it’s Kurt-like, and since you are here at Townhall VIP you probably like that. You can get your Kurt book fill until then with the others in the series, People's Republic, Indian Country and Wildfire. Also, check out the podcast here at VIP…it’s not safe for work, though. Or anywhere else!

 My super-secret special email address is Kurt.Schlichter@townhallcom – I always try to respond.


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