Birthday Boy: Obama Role of a Lifetime

Obama will be attending a 50^th birthday bash for himself on Wednesday in Chicago at the Aragon Ballroom. And for the millionaires and billionaires who don’t have plans yet, tickets are only $35,800 per couple.

About 1,000 people are expected to attend.

The tabloid site The Wrap says that although many of the A-list celebrities who supported the One the first time around have sent their regrets, “Herbie Hancock, Jennifer Hudson and OK Go [are expected to] perform. A second, more intimate soiree will be held later in the evening, with somewhere between 80 and 100 VIPs. The beleagured Prez will attend both.”

OK Go? That would be a great campaign theme for the “beleaguered” Prez. But then again, maybe OK, Just Go! Now! Please! would be better.

No word on the price of the VIP function. But I’m sure, since it’s in Chicago and Obama's there -big fish, smelly pond- one way or another the night will be tax-deductible for the royalty who can afford to shell out that kind of coin. That way the Dukes and Duchesses of boardrooms from L.A. and NYC  can stop worrying about denying jobs to regular Americans in order that their solar farm investments can finally pay off.

Yes. I’m talking about you G.E. And Matt Damon.    

But with the kind of savings on tickets the DNC is offering at the Aragon- the last time I was at the Aragon was to see a really bad boxing match- you can be sure plenty of CEOs will have enough left in their wallets to top off the fuel tanks of their corporate jets on the way to the celebration.

Thank goodness Obama’s back to doing the things he really likes rather than mismanaging the economy…and foreign relations…and energy policy….and….

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Now he gets to be the star of the show in Chicago, which is the only role he really knows. All he has to do, just like any good birthday boy, is show up and be prepared to be selfish.

The “give-me, give-me, give-me” is mandatory. And he doesn’t have to clean up the mess afterward, which is perfect for him.   

So, instead of hogging the economy, maybe we can get the president to spend some time hogging the birthday cake. No word yet if the FDA will inspect the cake beforehand for transfats, sugar and sugar substitutes or flour grown in the slash-and-burn agriculture of the Amazon rainforest.    

No, no, no, don’t worry about us. The rest of us are full, Mr. President. You just go right ahead.     

Hey, and the paper crown looks good on you too.

"I think Pennsylvania right now has kind of a mixed point of view about the president and I think that’s a result of mostly where we are on the economy," said Democrat Senator Bob Casey of Pennsylvania. You think? Insert the word “world” for “Pennsylvania” and “negative” for “mixed” and I think Casey has a point.

The Casey quote was the rhetorical equivalent of sidling away from the president in front an election.     

After six months of trying hard to be what is by Democrats standards “presidential,” stumbling from crisis to crisis, driving U.S. oil prices up and the U.S. debt rating down, instigating revolts in Middle East countries, Obama finally, mercifully can get back to unvarnished T.V. sound bites delivered precisely via the magic of a teleprompter.

I mean, what sincere, heartfelt birthday party is complete without the teleprompter? And envelopes that disclose mandatory/optional Federal Election Commission data via McCain-Feingold?    

As America’s reigning un-reality T.V show host, Obama’s 50th birthday bash is preparing us for the Son of the Mother of All Fundraisers to be televised between now and November 2012.

The birthday boy takes both checks and credit cards.

Now that’s a role you can believe him in. He's been playing that role his whole life.