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OPINION

Our Endlessly Embarrassing FBI

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Jose Luis Magana, File

J. Edgar Hoover’s famous mandate to every FBI employee was, “do not embarrass the Bureau!” In the day of Tommy gun wielding G-men, and Hoover’s tenure as the FBI’s monolithic director, the public image of an incorruptible, mechanistically analytic, and scientifically scrupulous cadre of federal investigators was almost as important as arresting bank robbers, wise guys, and Nazi saboteurs. 

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That mandate was passed down through the decades by Quantico instructors, class counselors, and seasoned training agents at the field offices. It was FBI lore and culture. We all learned it well, just like referring to the Special Agent in Charge as an S.A.C, unlike the Secret Service’s rather impolitic SAC (pronounced “sack.” Like a sack of…”). To be fair, the FBI has its own idiosyncratic foibles, referring to Assistant Directors in Charge as ADICs. You can see how that might lend itself to the creative application of impolite anatomic reference. 

The phrase wasn’t a directive to cover up or deceive, it was an inviolable order to conduct oneself in accordance with the highest possible professional and personal standards. Nothing that could bring reproach on the mission of the FBI was to be tolerated. Fidelity, Bravery, and Integrity were to be the gold standard by which the finest law enforcement agency in the world was to be measured.  

Therefore, “do not embarrass the Bureau” was sacrosanct — at least until Barack Hussein Obama and his lackey, former FBI Director James Comey. Their legacy has been one of gaffe, buffoonery, public humiliation, and betrayal. The sludge of politicization flowed from Obama’s Oval Office, with a candied surface sweet with the trite slogan “hope and change.” Comey’s infamous press conference, exonerating Hillary Clinton’s felonious mishandling of top secret information was Obama’s flanking of the Maginot Line, and portended the unthinkable acts of politicization to follow, especially after the instillation of his sock puppet, Joe Biden. 

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The FBI’s Office of Public Affairs has managed to embarrass the Bureau and just about every member of the former/retired Special Agent community I’m in contact with. In an incredibly tone-deaf and unaware post, the FBI’s X (formerly Twitter) account called attention to “Higher prices, dangerous products, and closing businesses. These are just some of the impacts Organized Retail Theft has on everyday Americans.” The post concludes, “Learn what the #FBI does to combat these crimes on the federal level to protect shoppers across the country.” 

Anyone who isn’t half asleep, or blinded by DEI ideology, is aware that “Organized Retail Theft” has been perpetrated almost exclusively by minorities, stoked to larcenous mania by race-baiting leftists in government and legacy media, who agitate ceaselessly about institutional racism — institutions which liberals largely control. The swarms of smash and grabbers lustily fall on their victims, often minority small business owners, to plunder in the name of “reparations.” If one didn’t know better, you’d think the spate of strong arm robberies were part of a KGB action plan.

Not to be outdone by the hopelessly woke and inane hosts of the View, the FBI’s Office of Public Affairs affixed an image of two young, white females to the X post about organized retail theft. You can almost hear J. Edgar rustling around in his grave. This sort of dissonance spotlights how out of step the FBI has become. If this is how the FBI intends to position its front-facing programs, how will it ever hope to regain the trust of the American people? After all, that’s what Hoover’s axiom was all about — making sure the American people never lost confidence in its premier law enforcement agency. And, that was important simply because recruiting sources, a vital part of accomplishing the FBI’s mission, is a lot harder to do if you’re perceived as a clown show. 

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And, it doesn’t inspire confidence when the FBI seems incapable of properly identifying the perpetrators of organized retail theft, leaving people wondering just how the Bureau intends to “protect shoppers across the country” while chasing chimerical, marauding hordes of Karens.

Following hard on the tail of the X post gaffe, was the arrest of journalist Steve Baker. He was arrested by the FBI on March 1st after turning himself in to the Dallas Field Office, allegedly for some federal violation(s) committed on January 6th, though details have yet to be released. Reportedly, the FBI had been “hanging charges” over Baker’s head for two years, finally notifying Baker to turn himself in. 

Baker attended the J6th rally and reported on events there, taking photographs and video for The Blaze, though not a full-time, paid journalist at the time. Subsequently, Baker was caught in the J6th dragnet, wherein he (presumably) and the vast majority of other arrestees have been charged with a spurious smattering of “federal trespassing charges.” Baker’s attorney posted on X, “To any federal LEO or prosecutor, past or present: Have you EVER had a misdemeanor offender who agreed to voluntarily appear in court for an initial appearance - and does so - then be cuffed for transport to court and THEN CUFFED TO A BELLY CHAIN IN COURT? EVER?”

After a local and federal law enforcement career spanning nearly 30 years, I can state categorically that it is beyond the pale to handcuff a misdemeanor subject and then purp-walk that subject in an obvious attempt to humiliate. A belly chain in court can only be explained by the DOJ's fanatical zeal to persecute anyone perceived as supportive of Trump.

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Additionally, a close colleague of mine posted on X, “…25 years in the FBI — four field offices and two FBI HQ assignments — I’m not even aware of an FBI investigation that involved a misdemeanor charge/arrest…This is 100% DOJ driven.” 

When the dust finally settles, the FBI will be seen to have been the patsy of the Biden administration. With a complicit Director and fanatical Attorney General, the FBI will continue to run amok. Only a national leader like Trump can reverse the course and begin to restore the FBI’s true mission and reputation.

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