The Trump administration has initiated a government spending program I can get behind: paying illegal aliens a few bucks to get out of the country. I like the idea so much that I propose expanding it to include liberals, too!
The program offers illegal aliens a commercial airline ticket to wherever they’re from, provided they voluntarily register for it through the CPB app.
Your first question is likely, “Who the hell would use that thing?” Well, people who are fully aware of the fact that if they’re arrested, they will be deported. Or people who’ve had people they care about deported, and they want to join them, but want to save money. Or, and this would be key, people who can’t find work because the federal government imposed the threat of such massive fines on companies for hiring illegal aliens that it’s simply not worth it.
To sweeten the pot, however, the Trump administration is offering $1,000 on top of the ticket, payable once the illegal immigrant is out of the United States.
The idea of that may not appeal to you – what with the whole “paying lawbreakers” thing – but it is money well-spent.
On average, it costs around $17,000 to arrest and deport an illegal alien. It shouldn’t, it should be almost immediate and only cost the gas to the airport and the price of a ticket, which we should bill their home country for.
But Democrats have so screwed up the system by lawsuits and corrupt judges – note that no new laws were passed, just “willed” into existence by Democrats – that truth doesn’t matter anymore. It would be nice if Congress were to unambiguously pass a bill streamlining deportation to the immediate model, but that’s unlikely because Democrats would block it in the Senate.
This new program is estimated to cost about $4,500 per illegal, including the $1,000 F.O.A.D. cash—a small price to pay.
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Imagine how many people would take advantage of that? Imagine how the shrinking number of illegal aliens in the country would free ICE to focus on those who remain.
In a perfect world, we wouldn’t have to resort to a tangential form of bribery to remove people from the country who have no business being here, but that’s not the world we live in, unfortunately, because half the political establishment is more interested in servicing people here illegally than natural-born citizens.
What can you honestly expect from a group of people who frame the existence of this country through a lens of bigotry? They tried to rewrite the founding of this country back to 1619 to reinforce their lies about it, then awarded the leader of that smear prestigious awards and a high-paying tenured job.
They call everyone a “colonist,” no matter how long they’ve lived here, and assign guilt based on skin color for the “sin” of existing and simply living your life. There are a lot of words to describe those actions, none of which are good.
The left has long spent our money on its causes, lining the pockets of its friends and activists for travel, hotels, food, and bail. It’s about time we spent some of it on what the rest of us, the vast majority of Americans, want.
Bump them to first class, order the lobster, give them 2 grand when they land—whatever it takes to entice them onto that plane. Then take their name, picture, and prints so they can never sneak back into the United States again by ditching their IDs and pretending to be anyone else.
The federal government spends an awful lot of money, and most of it is wasted. This money would not be a waste. I know our credit cards are maxed out, but this would be worth a call to them to extend our credit, or even a loan shark.
And get extra money, too, so the same deal can be offered to any liberal who wants to leave. There are plenty of socialist/communist/fascist Utopias around the world that they can move to, saving the time and effort of ruining this country into their version of paradise. Offer them more to leave – how about $10,000? As long as they renounce their citizenship as part of the deal. Then we’ll pay to move all their stuff – their unwashed clothes, ferrets, dirty magazines, whatever.
They’ll be missed…by someone…probably, just not me. Worth the price, no matter what it is.
Derek Hunter is the host of a free daily podcast (subscribe!) and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses, and host of the weekly “Week in F*cking Review” podcast where the news is spoken about the way it deserves to be. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter.
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