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OPINION
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Liberal Groups Care Deeply…About Getting People’s Money

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Charles Krupa, File

I’m in the wrong line of work. Here I am, working 6-7 days per week like a sucker, meanwhile there are these leftists sending out semi-literate, incredibly stupid emails to Democrats we can only assume are morons and raking in a fortune. If only I had no soul I could capitalize on the stupidity of the average Democrat, or at least enough Democrats to keep the garbage who writes tripe like this knee-deep in whatever disgusting fetish perversion they enjoy being knee-deep in.

Our first fundraising email this week comes from the Democratic Strategy Institute, whatever the hell that is. I’m sure they sit around and “strategize” all day, about what remains a mystery – likely how to get money from suckers.

Their subject line reads, “Merrick Garland pardons Donald Trump… WHAT?!” My 4-year-old has a better understanding of government. The Attorney General does not, nor does any other government official not the President of the United States, have the power to pardon anyone. Yet, there must be Democrats who think he does. 

In bold and highlighted text, the email opens, “DEVELOPING [!] Pressure Builds for Merrick Garland to Pardon Donald Trump.” The Democratic Strategy Institute’s strategy, it would seem, is to convince dumb people of things that aren’t remotely true. To reiterate how little they think of their donors (which may well we justified, they continue, “It would be a MASSIVE mistake for Merrick Garland to let Trump off the hook for his crimes.  That’s why we’re collecting an emergency 25,000 signatures to convince him to do the right thing and NEVER pardons Trump.” And yes, they wrote “do the right thing and NEVER pardons Trump” at the end, like an illiterate child. Strategy, it seems, does not include editing or proofreading. 

The thing about this stupidity is they keep repeating it. Six times in this email they claim the AG has the ability to pardon Donald Trump. But against what does the former President need pardon? “Donald Trump is a criminal through and through,” they declare. “He…  INCITED the January 6th Capitol Insurrection, Attempted to RIG the 2020 election, COLLUDED with foreign adversaries, And committed millions of dollars in TAX EVASION. There’s no way around it: Donald Trump must be held accountable.”

I don’t believe I’ve ever heard that someone had “committed millions of dollars in tax evasion” before. Then again, I’ve never heard of the idea that the Attorney General can grant pardons, or that left-wingers signing a meaningless online petition. Those “strategy” folks must be smart. 

Not to be outdone in the stupid department, the National Democratic Training Committee thought they try to suck a couple of dollars out of the California recall vote. In an email from the sender name “why are you abandoning him?” the group demands that “15,000 signatures are needed” to “stand” with the awful Governor of our most populous state. “That’s why we need an emergency 15,000 signatures to show overwhelming support for Gov. Newsom. It’s the only way to save his seat!!”

I’m not completely sure about how the California recall process works, but I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with whether or not some leftist group gets 15,000 people to click on a link pretending to sign a meaningless petition. 

“The Republican army has launched a RIDICULOUS recall of Gov. Newsom,” the email screams. “They’re DESPERATE to flip California ruby red.  Even worse: If we lose a proud Democratic stronghold like California, our Democratic majorities will crumble everywhere.” Who knew that Democratic majorities from coast to coast were dependent upon the fate of a spoiled rich kid who grew up to be a spoiled, entitled adult?

Moreover, at the end of the email they point out that they need those signatures by midnight because…well, they don’t say because there’s nothing to say. It’s a stupid tactic meant to inspire action and a donation. “It’ll take an enormous show of support to convince California voters to do the right thing!” it ends. By “enormous show of support,” of course, they mean giving them money.

How these groups stay in business is a testament to how dumb some Democrats are. That they can be so shameless about scamming people out of their hard earned money is a testament to just how gross and corrupt these liberal groups are.

Derek Hunter is the host of a free daily podcast (subscribe!), host of a daily radio show on WCBM in Maryland, and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter.

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