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OPINION

Hey Sanders Saps, Hillary Is Laughing At You! What Are You Gonna Do About It?

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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It's always see fun to see idealistic, inspired, and hopeful progressives have their dreams mercilessly crushed by the Democrat crime cartel. Did you silly millennials, union flunkies, and aging hippies really believe that you had a shot at getting your boy Bernie Sanders the nomination? Ha! P.T. Barnum had a name for you guys, and it wasn't “suckers.” Think “mute mules.”

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Well, you’ve had your fun, and now it's time to shrug your shoulders and fall-in behind Hillary. She beat you fair and square, by which I mean she used the party rules designed to make you dopes think you really have a voice in steering Democrat policy to cheat you out of the victory you earned. The fix was always in – she was always superciliously assured that her superdelegates were going to supersede your adorable attempts to attract actual votes from actual voters.

So get ready to give up. To give up your dreams. To give up your hopes. To give up your dignity.

You know you’re going to. You can huff and puff – and you better do your puffing now because there’s no chance that the incoming National Mommy is going to let you keep buying pot with that prescription you got from the hemp store doctor at the strip mall – but in the end, you’ll submit. You always do.

Prepare to occupy the position.

It’s sad because you have been used and abused by your party but you're too cowardly and wimpy to do anything about it. You know who wasn’t, though? Republicans. Yeah, they had a radical faction too, except instead of meekly accepting the dominance of the establishment like you are going to do, they took over their party, booting out the establishment and installing their own leader. You might not like Donald Trump, but it’s the Republicans who will be voting for the candidate who didn’t get zillions from Goldman-Sachs. Who didn’t push through those trade deals that you hate. Who didn’t vote for the endless war in Iraq.

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Let’s review. After she humiliated you, you are going to obey her command by stepping into the voting booth and pull the lever for a Wall Street shill who never met a war she didn’t like. And I, the conservative Republican, am not.

No, Trump wasn’t my first choice. Or second. Or third. Hell, there were 17 Republicans, so when you subtract Jeb, Lindsey, and Kasich that makes him my 14th choice. But I'm going to fall-in behind him because there's no way I'm going to do what you inevitably will, and allow that corporate shill and warmonger Hillary Clinton to take power in November.

You’re going to vote for the status quo. It’s time for you to accept that there's not going to be a revolution. There's not even going to be an evolution. Progressives, welcome to devolution.

You really are just doofy posers in stupid sandals. You're going to vote for Goldman Sachs’s golden girl, the chick who loves NAFTA, the man-hating harpy who wants to snip off what makes you Bernie bros bros. And you are going to crawl over to her throne on your bellies, tenderly lift her pantsuit cuff off of that swollen cankle, and tongue-kiss her sensible shoe.

It will taste like old leather and bitter humiliation.
She's laughing at you. She's laughing at your idealism. She's laughing at your hopes. She laughing at your dreams. She thinks you're a punchline, because she knows that while you'll scream and pout and put a bumper sticker on your Prius, you're still going to vote for her.

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Aren’t you?

I mean, you could do something about it. You could stay in your dorm on Election Day. Or you could vote for the candidate who has never helped start a disastrous war. Or you could urge Bernie to go independent again and run a third-party campaign, a truly revolutionary campaign unencumbered by the heavy buckets that weigh down the corporate water carriers in the Democrat establishment.

Oh sure, I want to see you do it because it will hurt Hillary if you actually show some moral courage and refuse to vote for the women who makes a mockery of everything you say you believe in. But this isn’t about me. It's about you, and how you're the laughingstock of American politics. At least in the Republican Party, the insurgents have a voice and made themselves heard. That’s what democracy looks like. The Democrats just give you a couple minutes to talk, announce they have passed the motion giving themselves whatever they want, then pat you on your knit cap and point you to a stool in the corner.

Yeah, you're feeling the burn because you’ve been burned. Are you just going sit there and take that, or are you going to act? Are you as wimpy, impotent, and pathetic as Hillary (and, frankly, as I and everyone else) think you are? Are you just going to let the Democrat Party stuff a ball gag into your bonghole?

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Hillary is laughing at you.

Her lackeys are laughing at you.

Hell, I'm laughing at you.

So what are you going to do about it?

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