Bowling, Beer and Pool with President Irrelevant and Governor Irrelevant

John Ransom
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Posted: Jul 11, 2014 12:01 AM
Bowling, Beer and Pool with President Irrelevant and Governor Irrelevant

Big news out of the White House this week is that the General Service Administration was finally getting around to tackling the all-important bowling alley renovations for White House staffers. Just more shovel-ready, infrastructure jobs to improve the economy.

This from Time.com:

The bowling alley was recently photographed by POLITICO, which described “chipped lanes and worn-out shoes” in the basement getaway. “It has been fifteen years since these lanes have had any professional, industry standard maintenance, modifications, repairs or attention,” the GSA wrote in the posting. “They are now irreparable.

So it was proposed by the GSA that they be rebuilt be in their entirety.

Yes, as the world passes from one surreal event to the next, largely caused by the power vacuum that exists between Obama’s ears, the White House Theater of the Absurd is now starring The Bowling Alley.

And not without a strong supporting role from the Inside the Beltway press, which spends so much time inside Obama’s belt in a way which, well... modesty prevents me from continuing.

This is an actual quote from a White House staffer from the story by Time: “It could use [the renovations]. It’s quaint and feels old. There’s no electric scoreboard, so you have to score by hand—which is just debilitating when you’re focused on bowling a 300 like I am.”

Oh, my goodness? Imagine the horror of having to score by hand? Or being debilitated in your quest to bowl 300 while making a six-figure salary at the White House?

There’s probably a Social Security disability designation for people who have been debilitated in just such a way.

But it’s good to know that there is both ideological consistency and consistent ignorancy -- I just made that word up because it fits this White House—operative at the highest (lowest?) levels of our government.

The staffers however, it appears, will have to apply for those Social Security disability benefits and live with the debilitation.

When the GOP took to Twitter to criticize the White House plan to spend money on a bowling alley, the best supporting actors in their role as journalist lackeys, immediately issued a clarification that no, no, no-- our mistake-- the White House WON’T be remodeling the bowling alley.

Since we know that he cares so much about the taxpayers, I’m guessing that Obama wants to wait until the labor market starts to feel the trickle up effect of all the illegal child labor coming into the United States via my new hometown San Diego.

Because we know he cares too about: 1) citizens, and 2) the unemployed, especially black teen unemployed, who will likely have compete against all the illegal labor being dumped into the U.S. by Obama.

“Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus criticized the White House’s priorities in a tweet Wednesday,“ continued Time.com in a clarification of the original story.

It’s not really fair, however, for the GOP to criticize Obama’s priorities.

It would be much more fair if we just admit that Obama has no real policy priorities.

In related news, Obama played pool and drank a beer with Colorado's Governor Irrelevant, John Hickenlooper. The last time Hickenlooper saw his shadow, he was admitting he didn't understand the legislation that Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York city had passed in Hick's state of Colorado...and that Hick signed.

President Irrelevant meet Governor Irrelevant.

Even the press was agog: "What were they thinking when they did that photo opportunity with Hickenlooper shooting pool and drinking beer?” asked MSNBC's Andrea Mitchell.

Oh, that's easy: He’s got a phone, and a pen and he also has a sub-300 bowling alley.

And isn’t that all any president needs? Duuuude.

For Obama-- and Hick-- the answer is unfortunately: Yes.