Fritz Pfister

Thanks to a Southern Illinois gas station owner for the title. For you who aren’t familiar with Illinois; there’s the Socialist Republic of Cook County-Chicago, and downstate, the home to normal people. In fact most people south of I-80 are who Obama disparaged in his San Francisco treat, the bitter clingers of guns, bibles, and such. You know, people we commonly refer to as Americans.

The only thing that makes Illinois look good from a governmental perspective is California. A K-Car compared to a Yugo. Proof of the division in thought, ideology, and values between the socialists and Americans? Pat Quinn. Elected governor because Quinn won a whopping three of one hundred two counties. A foolproof argument for keeping, and the need for, the electoral college. Our founders were indeed brilliant.

Back to the check president light, let’s plug in the computer that makes mechanics look like Einstein at identifying problems, and what do we find?

Do you remember the scene in Trains, Planes, and Automobiles, the response Steve Martin received from the clerk at the car rental counter, when he told her he didn’t have his receipt? That’s what we find displayed on our diagnostic computer.

First we discover the computer that contains the operating system (Constitution) has been corrupted. A brilliant, yet simple operating system to insure the separate parts (States) of the car functioning independently, but in harmony with the others, has been short-circuited.

It appears a power surge from a central source (DC) has damaged the operating system almost to the point of no repair. Just got here in time the mechanic says, if you had waited past November 6th it would have been off to the junkyard for your car (country).

Upon further evaluation we discover the computer is intentionally starving the engine of fuel, although the tank is full. The mechanic tells us that is unusual, because he doesn’t recall ever seeing the main operating system intentionally block it’s own life source.

The mechanic said he may never have seen this before, but remembers his father telling him about one time when, although there was nothing blocking the flow of fuel from the tank to the engine inside the car, there was a similar operator back in the seventies who caused people to have to wait in line and receive a rationed amount of fuel for the tank.

Fritz Pfister

Fritz began his Real Estate career in 1987 and has been with RE/MAX since 1989.