Brent Bozell
The pied pipers at MTV were certainly delighted that they attracted their largest audience ever measured for their Video Music Awards show, more than 12 million viewers. It began with Lady Gaga as a male impersonator and ended with rapper Lil Wayne dancing around wearing women's leggings affixed literally below his rear end.

Lil Wayne's "song" was called "John (If I Die Today)." It was so studded with F-bombs and N-words that more of this number may have been bleeped than aired. There are five F-bombs in the first eight lines. The song starts: "Four-four bulldog, my mother f---ing pet. I point it at you and tell that mother f---er 'fetch.'" The thought is almost humorous that someone at MTV might review the lyrics in advance to insure they were appropriate.

But this spectacle only comes around once a year. What really should concern parents and culture-watchers was the "sneak peek" of yet another scripted sex-and-youth show right after the awards. Even the title of the forthcoming show is meant to provoke: "I Just Want My Pants Back."

MTV boasted the New York Daily News already proclaimed the show a "triumph," and teased viewers with this "peek," saying it would not air again until 2012. But the debut was profoundly graphic, even by MTV's lack of standards. The sexual content was about as pervasive and explicit as anything you can find on basic cable. Naturally, it was rated only TV-14.

Here's what MTV thinks is appropriate for your 14-year-old. As the show begins, the lead character Jason and his friend Tina are looking to "hook up" with other people at a bar in New York City. Jason, who's supposed to be twenty-something but looks 16, is lamenting his long sexless streak of six whole weeks. He's drinking shots and complaining they taste like "paint thinner and ass." Tina asks, "Got any weed?"

The two friends retire to a bathroom and smoke marijuana. Jason laments how he could be entering the sexual "drought of the decade," but then boasts he's now so high on pot, he's "'I could eat a wheel of cheese high." Tina shoots back, "As long as you're not 'I need you to check my testicles for lumps' high."

Does anyone smell an Emmy award for Best Screenplay?

Then Jason meets the nameless girl he's taking home. Soon they're undressing frantically and Jason is worrying that it's too perfect. "What if you're really a sexy transsexual and later I discover, oops, you have a penis?" She responds she's "all girl" and insists "Let's do it in your fridge!" He is wowed. "What a fantastic email this is going to make tomorrow!"

When it's over, the girl leaves a phone number that's a wrong number, and borrows Jason's pants, which takes you back to the title "I Just Want My Pants Back."

Brent Bozell

Founder and President of the Media Research Center, Brent Bozell runs the largest media watchdog organization in America.
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