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OPINION

Give Her a Gun Valentine

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

Forget roses. This Valentine’s Day, give her a gift that shows you love her whole body and soul. Give her a gun.

Your Valentine—whether she’s your wife, girlfriend, daughter or sister—deserves something very special. What could be more sentimental than a tool she can use to defend herself? When you give her a gun, you will be showing her that she is extremely precious and valuable to you.

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Of course, you don’t want to just hand her a Glock and say “Happy Valentine’s Day!” That would be neither wise nor romantic. Here’s a few tips on how to make your Valentine’s Day gift both safe and meaningful:

For the Girl on the Fence

If your sweetheart is a not so sure she likes guns, a pink AR-15 might be pushing it for a Valentine’s Day gift. You don’t want to scare her away from the idea of owning a firearm. So, ease her into the idea of owning a special tool for self-defense.

For example Bling Sting makes stylish and practical pepper spray keychains that are decorated in red, pink, black or diamond bling. She can attach one of these “charms” to her purse or key ring for an extra dose of protection.

Along with a fabulous pepper spray, you could give her a gold-plated chain with a small charm in the shape of a handgun. She’ll feel edgy and tough… and by the time her birthday rolls around, she’ll be asking you for the real deal so she can truly protect herself from an assault. And, just for fun, give her chocolates in the shape of ammo with a note that says: “Bite the Bullet! XOX!” (Be willing to bite the bullet yourself after this horrible pun.)

For the Gun Newbie

For a gal who is already a Second Amendment supporter, you won’t need to win her over. Nevertheless, if she hasn’t spent much time handling firearms you will want to help educate her. Unless she already owns a gun and is extremely comfortable using firearms safely, give her a gift certificate to a gun safety and firearm self-defense course before you give her a gun.

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For the Gun Intermediate

Your sweetheart has handled firearms before and she’s already taken gun safety courses. She’s ready for her very own firearm. Since you’ll want to make sure that her gun fits well in her hand, you’ll need to ruin the surprise and take her to the gun store with you. Buying a gun is kind of like buying an engagement ring—it’s helpful to have the girl along with you because, unfortunately, her hands are not removable.

For the Gun Goddess

For the woman who knows more about guns and ammo than you do (though you’ll never admit it), a gift certificate for a conceal carry class along with a practical conceal carry holster or concealment tank top would be the perfect gift. A thigh holster is much sexier than a delicate, lacy negligee when you explain that you’re giving her this is a gift because you want to protect your most valuable asset—her.

A gun or a gun-safety class is so much more meaningful than a teddy bear. When you give her a self-defense tool, you’re offering her is a constant reminder of how much you value her and a present that will last far longer than a vase of red rosebuds.

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