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Church Won't Mention Trump's Name in Prayers, Fearing Microaggressions

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Parishioners at a California Episcopal church will no longer pray by name for the president of the United States over fears the name "Donald Trump" might trigger microaggressions among sanctified snowflakes.


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Mike Kinman, the rector of All Saints Church in Pasadena, broke the news to the congregation in a blog posting that was filled with all sorts of liturgical lunacy. 

"If you come to All Saints this Sunday, you’ll notice that we have removed the proper names from our prayers for those in authority. Whereas before we prayed for 'Barack, our president,' we are now praying for “our president, our president-elect, and all others in authority.” This practice will continue for at least the near future," he wrote. 

Kinman went on to say the safety of the congregation could be jeopardized by the mere nation of the president-elect's name.

"We are in a unique situation in my lifetime where we have a president elect whose name is literally a trauma trigger to some people – particularly women and people who, because of his words and actions, he represents an active danger to health and safety," he wrote.

Then this pious punk went on to compare Trump to a wife-beater. 

"As I have said before, for some it could be as if we demanded a battered woman pray for her abuser by name. It’s not that the abuser doesn’t need prayer – certainly the opposite – but prayer should never be a trauma-causing act," he wrote. 


The church is also planning a "Weekend of Prayer and Resistance" during the inauguration. 

"We will stand in resistance to the systemic evils that oppress and marginalize any member of our human family - including but not limited to racism, sexism, nativism, homophobic, anti-Semitism and Islamophobia," reads a description of the event on the church's website.

There's no reference to a pot-luck so you might want to pack a halal sandwich and a jug of herbal tea. 

While it seems there has been some debate over the issue, the rector told the congregation his "pastoral" decision will stand.

"There are indeed people in our congregation for whom the anticipation of praying for Donald Trump by name in the worship service is legitimately triggering trauma and compromising the safety of the worship space," the rector wrote. "I am talking about the clinical definition of trauma not just 'I don't like it' or 'It's really hard for me.'"

It sounds like a good many people parked in the pews at All Saints Church may be slap crazy.

Lord, have mercy. 

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