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I Found My Thrill in the Chapel on the Hill

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of


As the states go deeper and deeper into debt, liberals keep finding new ways to go deeper and deeper into our pocket books to teach people things they could easily learn by themselves. There is no better example than the recent spate of universities that have decided to help lost and helpless homosexuals find themselves spiritually. This sudden revival of interest in religion in our secular universities is a queer one, indeed.


A document titled, “Religious Identity, Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity & Gender Expression,” housed on the UNC website and produced with state funded research says the following:

“Many LGBTQ identified people struggle with their religious or spiritual beliefs at some point in the coming out process. This section will give you some resources with which you can educate yourself about various religious and spiritual communities’ beliefs regarding faith and LGBTQ-identified persons.”

Sounds either great or grate depending on your politics. But what does the state have to say about LGBTQ-LMNOPersons and Christianity? Where should they go to learn about Christian stances on these issues? The government agents of inclusion provide six sources. One can only marvel at the diversity of the following choices:

  1. The Institute for Welcoming Resources The purpose of this ecumenical group is to provide the resources to facilitate a paradigm shift in multiple denominations whereby churches become welcoming and affirming of all congregants regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity. (A paradigm shift sounds pretty costly at first, but, upon further reflection, a paradigm is only twenty cents).
  2. Gay Christians Information and chat network of friends affirming God’s acceptance and love of all people regardless of their sexual or affectional orientation. (This may have been where Kip met LaFawnduh. I always thought she was really a he! Soul mate? More like soul brother!)
  3. Inspiritus Inspirational page with focus on those who are seeking to reconcile Christian faith and homosexuality; also includes excellent coming out stories from Christian LGBTQ individuals. (Shouldn’t they call this Out-spirit-us? Just saying.).
  4. Soulforce The purpose of Soulforce is freedom for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people from religious and political oppression through the practice of relentless nonviolent resistance. (How many of you knew that gays were still enslaved in 21st Century America? And I just hired a new interior decorator for no reason!).
  5. The Bible and the Homosexual the sections in the Bible that are most used to condemn LGBTQ persons. (This can generally be accomplished by defining words like “sin” and “abomination” as hate speech. Hence, it is no longer a *** or an *********** to engage in sodomy).
  6. Steps to Recovery from Bible Abuse This site has a link to a page that addresses the sections in the Bible that are most used to condemn LGBTQ persons. (Bible abuse includes but is not limited to those who have actually been thumped by a Bible on one or more occasions).

Just in case the above entanglement between church and state is not quite enough for the enlightened liberal intellectual, there is more. The UNC website directs you to more state-recommended websites that get into specific denominational stances:

  1. Axios Eastern Orthodox Gay and Lesbian Christians, resources and links. (This makes sense. Some people are only attracted to the Eastern Orthodox Church because of the hats. Gay people like hats, too – especially Red Sox hats. I can see a connection).
  2. Rainbow Baptists Rainbow Baptists is a website providing support, information and advocacy for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer identified Baptists, their family and friends. (It makes sense that the homosexuals have hijacked the rainbow. They think Noah’s son really enjoyed seeing his father naked. And that’s why they are always trying to force the Boys Scouts to follow them on weekend excursion into the woods to pitch tents).
  3. Catholic DignityUSA works for respect and justice for all gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender persons in the Catholic Church and the world through education, advocacy and support. (This one is way too easy. Pass).
  4. Disciples of Christ The Gay, Lesbian, and Affirming Disciples Alliance is an organization of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and affirming members of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). They call for the full inclusion of LGBT persons in the Church. They provide educational resources to the Church on issues important to LGBT Christians. (I could see Chaz Bono as a Baptist preacher despite the sex change. But do they have to accept his dancing, too?).
  5. More Light Presbyterians A network of people seeking the full participation of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people of faith in the life, ministry and witness of the Presbyterian Church. (I think we need more Presbyterians who are light in the loafers. It helps them tiptoe through the TULIP without getting stuck on “total depravity.”).

At first glance, it would appear that Jewish homosexuals and Islamic homosexuals are excluded from the UNC effort to be inclusive. Nothing could be further from the truth. UNC is proud to recommend a couple of Jewish faith websites:

  1. Jewish Gay and Lesbian Group The purpose of this organization is to provide an atmosphere of friendship and support for Jewish gays, lesbians, bisexuals and their partners. Organize social, religious and informative events for our members and their guests. To act as ambassadors between the gay world and the Jewish world, trying to dispel ignorance and prejudice. (Making peace between the gay world and the Jewish world could take a Lot of patience. But I think it’s all about hospitality not Sodomy!).
  2. The World Congress of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Jews: Keshet Ga’avah        The organization consists of around 50 member organizations (did they really say “member organizations”?) all over the world. The World Congress wishes: to be the worldwide voice of LGBT Jews; to support, inspire, and strengthen local groups; to foster a sense of community among diverse individuals and organizations; to achieve equality and security for LGBT Jews worldwide.

Islamic homosexuals can really celebrate the inclusion of the Muslim Faith Websites like Queer Jihad (I guess a queer jihad is better than a straight one. Queer jihadists probably clean up nicely after they’re done killing the infidels. But, seriously, at least UNC has finally recognized the existence of the term jihad).

It is strange for many to sit back and watch these UNC system spending habits in a year where they are faced with a 15.8% budget cut. They could easily cut back on their commitment to sexual diversity. Instead, they cut a year off their nursing program. No word yet on whether they are  contemplating taking a year off of campaigning for same-sex marriage and trying to grow the homosexual church in America.

It is becoming increasingly obvious that someone at UNC has drilled a giant glory hole in the wall of separation between church and state. It is no longer seen as impregnable. And it can be bypassed by anyone willing to wallow in his own filth. Just let the taxpayers clean up afterward. They’re all a bunch of haters!

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