Olympic Athletes Demand the United Nations Act on Climate Change

Posted: Feb 15, 2014 12:01 AM
Olympic Athletes Demand the United Nations Act on Climate Change

Watching the Sochi Olympic ski-runs melt beneath the feet of athletes, global warming alarmists have decided to take action. Over 100 Olympic athletes, including 85 Americans, have signed a letter that calls on the UN to take action against anthropogenic global warming… Because the palm trees that line the streets of Sochi, Russia, are clearly the result of too many SUVs on the road, and not the result of typical sub-tropical weather patterns.

“The once consistent winters that I saw as a young kid are no more, especially near my home in Vermont,” wrote US cross country skier Andrew Newell, who penned the Al-Gore-esque letter to the United Nations. Aside from the fact that Newell is basing his understanding of global weather patterns off of his 30 years of existence (only a fraction of which he has had the intellectual awareness to contemplate things such as weather fluctuations), the letter comes at a time when the US is struggling through one of its worst winters in decades. Just to put this into context: when Newell was born, the world was desperately concerned about “global cooling”… And now, as southern states struggle with an apocalyptic 2 ½ inches of snow, we’re concerned about global warming. My how things have changed!

“Snow conditions are becoming much more inconsistent, weather patterns more erratic, and what was once a topic for discussion is now reality and fact. Our climate is changing and we are losing our winters.” Newell continued. Somehow I think America’s east coast might disagree as they struggle their way through the second major snowstorm of the year.

The recently warm weather in one of Russia’s southernmost cities (yep… It got up to a sweltering 60-some-odd degrees Fahrenheit) has induced a sense of panic among disciples of Al Gore. Apparently the subtropical climate of Putin’s choice for the winter games is evidence of a global warming trend that could soon make cross-country skiing a thing of the past.

“I’m not an environmental science major, I’m not a scientist, in fact I didn’t even go to college,” Newell admitted. And now that we have established a firm grasp of the obvious, maybe we should enlighten the 30 year old skier on a few other universal truths:

Russia has plenty of snow to host the Winter Olympics. (Of course, the same can’t be said for their infrastructure, competency, or resolve… But when it comes to snow volume, yeah. They’re set.) Unfortunately, Sochi is not among the many Russian locales that boast a harsh, intense, or even mildly cold winter. In fact, the climate around the Black Sea was a driving concern when Sochi was originally named as the host for the 2014 Winter Olympics. Heck, had we hosted the games in Michigan this year, they easily could have been the coldest games on record. But melting snow is what you’re bound to get when the average winter temperature routinely climbs above 50 degrees Fahrenheit, as it does in Sochi.

Second of all, Al Gore’s crusade against manbearpig (global warming) has proven to be little more than a vehicle for scammers, con artists, and politically motivated redistributionists. It’s hardly the scientifically based theory that it pretends to be. In fact, when judged by scientific methods, the theory of Anthropogenic Global Warming becomes comical. Near Antarctica, global warming “scientists” were stranded because they had failed to account for seasonably cold temperatures and ice build-up.

Remember back in 2008 and 2009 when Al Gore warned that the entire North Pole would be free of ice during summer months within 5 years? Well… It’s been five years, and we have seen a 50 percent increase of ice over last year… Now that I think about it, if Sochi wants more snow before the Games close, they should just invite Al Gore to the area for a speech on global warming. After all, his speeches on the matter usually coincide with unseasonably cold temperatures.

Newell’s anecdotal observation of world weather patterns and predictably warm Winter Olympic events, certainly don’t prove global warming. The debate over my Jeep Rubicon’s contribution to extreme weather aside, what exactly are these 105 Olympians suggesting the UN do about the weather? (This sounds like a plot twist in a Dr. Who episode: An unaccountable world organization sets out to command, and control, the world’s weather. Quick, to the TARDIS!)

Since Al Gore first decided to champion this cause as his defining one thing has been clear: According to the statists who claim to care about the environment, only redistribution and big government can possibly slow the eventual erosion of our planet.

Heck, the UN commissioner on Climate Change even went so far as to say that only communism offered the world a chance at ending global warming. Of course, this comment came as quite a surprise to everyone who remembers the Soviet Union’s abysmal record on environmental issues. And I’m sure such comments were news to the residents of Beijing, China (where they recently erected giant television screens to broadcast the sunset because the smog had made it impossible to catch a glimpse of the sky).

Developed nations, such as the US, has already heavily invested itself in a regulatory frame work of redistributive, and punitive, “climate change” initiatives. Obama’s EPA has instituted a cap-and-trade plan without the hassle of the “trade” portion. They have also fully embraced cronyism and corporate welfare as they redistribute monies from evil oil and coal industries, to green energy companies like Solyndra (bankrupt), A123 Systems (bankrupt), and Abound Solar (also bankrupt). Billions in “green energy funding” has been spent by government agencies after plundering the funds from productive (and profitable) private companies.

I guess it’s nice to see that these Olympic athletes have decided to feign a broad sense of concern, but their obligatory worry is misplaced. The sports that grace the Winter Olympics are not going anywhere. I mean, heck, even 5th Avenue in NYC was suitable to cross country skiing this past week. Moreover, asking an unaccountable international body of bureaucrats to fix anything is like asking Vladimir Putin to build an Olympic city: Corruption will run rampant and incompetency will prevail.

The letter goes to show that accomplishment does not always coincide with intelligence. The idea that 105 athletes wrote a letter to a world organization that supports communism (while they are housed in the former Soviet Union) to call attention to the warm weather in a sub-tropical resort community seems created for Merriam Webster’s definition of “irony”. Especially while the rest of the world deals with “polar vortexes” and record breaking cold snaps.

Stick to skiing, Newell. Al Gore can fight manbearpig on his own.