I’m not interested in the presidential debate, and I’m probably not even going to watch it, even though it’s kind of my job to have hot takes and to pundit all over such events. But why should I? The fix is already in because the regime media is broken and so is President Crusty. Now, my reluctance is not because I don’t like Donald Trump or because I dislike Joe Biden – I do like Donald Trump and I do dislike Joe Biden. It’s because I don’t think I will get anything out of it that I don’t already know. Trump is Trump, and Biden is a mendacious clown with delusions of competence. And as for this debate, to quote that weird salamander admiral from before Star Wars became all about lesbian space witches of color, “It’s a trap!”
I don’t want to waste valuable life watching Jake Tapper and Dana Bash run interference for that drooling old pervert. I don’t need proof that the regime media is in the bag for the Democrats, just like I don’t need proof that Joe Biden is a senile old moron. These are facts. It is written. So, I’ll probably find something better to do.
And “something better to do” includes pretty much everything.
Everyone already knows Trump and knows Biden. There are no new opinions to be had. That’s why I don’t think the debates are going to have much effect on the election unless Joe Biden gets up on stage and soils himself – in fact, I don’t even think that will have much effect because the regime media will provide him a cleanup on aisle nine. Joe Biden is going to be so hopped up on goofballs that he will probably remain upright, if not coherent, for the entire thing. Just by not falling over and breaking his hip, he’ll be declared the winner. And it he does, they’ll call it a tie.
As for Trump, it’s going to be a series of Democrat-written questions that hopefully Trump will bat away before pivoting to things that we care about, like crime, American humiliation around the world, the economy, and the open border. It’s easy to anticipate the dumb queries they will pose. Why do you want to kill women by banning reproductive healthcare, by which they mean killing babies? Why do you hate migrants who just want a better life, where “a better life” too often means raping and killing Americans? Why do you want to give tax breaks to greedy billionaires, though the greedy billionaires are all Democrats these days? Why do you deny climate change, even though the deadlines for us being dead keep passing without us being dead? Why are you such a felon, you felonious felon of felonies, and we don’t mean the good kind like George Floyd? Finally, why do you hate Our Democracy so much, with “Our Democracy” meaning the unchallenged power wielded by our garbage ruling class?
Donald Trump’s game plan should be to let Joe Biden run his piehole and descend into incoherent babble. The best outcome is that normal Americans see Joe Biden as the rest of us do, as a senile, addled old loser. But when have you ever known Donald Trump to hang back and let somebody else trip over his own idiocy? He’ll bellow “Madness? This. Is. MAGA!” and kick Joe Gumby into the bottomless pit, damn the consequences. Donald Trump is a counterpuncher, which means he’s going to counterpunch, but the problem is that if people see him beating up a decrepit old husk of a former human like Joe Biden, some invertebrates may actually feel sorry for the old pervert. I wouldn’t. Crusty deserves every bad thing that happens to him. He’s a liar, a scumbag, a moron, and the only scummier family than the Biden that I can think of is Charlie Manson’s. But Americans are a softhearted people, and when they see Grandpa Badfinger being pummeled, they may feel sympathy for him. What they should be doing is cheering Trump on, but, unfortunately, Americans have gotten significantly wussier over time – yet another thing to despise the Democrats for.
The fact is that Donald Trump is walking into a kill zone. It’s an ambush. Trump wants to get Joe Biden onstage in the hopes that the moronic zombie exposes his decline to the American people, but the enemy doesn’t always cooperate with you. If you don’t think this guy will be a staggering, stuttering pharmacy of chemical enhancements, you just haven’t been paying attention. They’re going to do everything they can to get this brainless geek through this debate without making a complete fool of himself, and they’re going to have the help of both hosts. Their shameless succor to Biden will put Candy Crowley’s lifeline to Barack Obama to shame.
CNN and its hosts are in the bag for Biden. They’re not going to hide it. They’re going to revel in it. And when you point out the video of this numbskull babbling, they’re going to call it a “cheap fake” or say it’s AI or give some other excuse. Remember, the lying is an integral part of the regime media’s modus operandi. By lying, when you know they’re lying and they know they’re lying and everybody knows they’re lying, they demonstrate their commie solidarity. They will eagerly sacrifice their dignity to prove they are part of Team Trotsky.
Unfair? Yeah, and? Remember, life has no referees. There’s no cosmic mommy out there who’s going to say, “Hey, the regime media is lying! Hey, Jake Tapper and Dana Bash are a bunch of Democrat functionaries toe-shrimping President Daddyshowers!” Look for more and more unrepentant laptopping – the regime media tactic of telling the world something that everybody knows is a lie in order to help the Democrats, just like they did with Hunter’s laptop. They knew it wasn’t Russian disinformation and didn’t care when they told you it was. They knew it was devastating to Biden, so they lied about it. And they knew there would be no consequences for them lying about it.
And there won’t be any consequences when they do it at the debate. What, are we going to think even less of the regime media? That’s not even possible.
So, I’m not going to watch this charade play out. Maybe I’ll watch “Storage Wars.” I’ll get the debate highlights the next day on Twitter. Of course, they will declare the ones that favor Donald Trump to be misinformation. But I don’t care what they say. I’m not sure anybody cares what the reading media says. I’m not even sure anybody cares what the candidates say. I think we’re pretty close to November being baked in right now, so why waste my time handing CNN another pair of eyeballs?
Follow Kurt on Twitter @KurtSchlichter. Get the newest volume in the Kelly Turnbull People’s Republic series of conservative action novels set in America after a notional national divorce, the bestselling Amazon #1 Military Thriller, Overlord! And get his new novel about terrorism in America, The Attack!
Look, you need to keep up the fight by joining Townhall VIP right now. You get access to a bunch of great stuff, not the least of which is my extra Wednesday column, my weekly Stream of Kurtiousness videos every Friday, and the Unredacted podcast every Monday! Plus, some stuff from Larry O’Connor – and a bunch of other stuff.
My super-secret email address is Kurt.Schlichter@townhall.com
