All the Republicans have to do to win against that desiccated, corrupt, senile old pervert is just not be weird and not be stupid, and to show people that they’re competent and capable of governing. But being Republicans, there’s considerable doubt that they can pull that off. There are several things that indicate that they may very well revert to form and blow the whole thing, ensuring our country goes down the tubes under the reign of whoever’s pulling the strings on Grandpa Badfinger.
You can’t Make America Great Again on the outside looking in and watching the election get stolen. We have got to win.
At the threshold, there’s the problem with the legal fight, which is a problem because we’re apparently not even in the fight. I wrote about it a few days ago and I won’t repeat myself, but let me repeat myself – if we don’t get an organized, synchronized, and funded legal operation going we’re done. We know the shenanigans are coming because they came at us twice in the last four years. If we are not ready, we will lose again, even if we win.
Republicans also need to get their collective head straight about a few things, including the fact that identity politics does not work for Republicans in terms of bringing in people not inclined to be Republican already. You’re not going to win black votes because you nominate a black guy. You’re not going to win Latinx (sp) votes because you nominate a guy whose name ends with a vowel. And you won’t win girl votes just because you run a girl-girl, or a girl-guy, which is probably a thing in some quarters.
This brings us to Senator Katie Britt’s disastrous State of the Union response. A lot of ink has been spilled about how terrible it was, but I think we can spill some more. What was the thought process that led to this disaster? Look, Katie Britt seems like a perfectly nice woman, though last week she gave off the vibe of a third-grade teacher who tries to make the class celebrate Kwanza, but whatever. I hope this doesn’t destroy her future, and I don’t think it will, but it was a huge embarrassment and it was just ridiculous. The emoting, the weird breathlessness – the Tik-Tokking of American politicians is alone reason to ban that miserable Chi-Com app. This whole fiasco was so Republican – they took a gimme, responding to that crusty old freak’s tirade, and they turned it into something that has even people on our side going, “What the hell was that?”
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Who is the person who said, “Hey, Republicans are really concerned about kitchen table issues, so why not put her at a kitchen table!” It’s that weird literalism that you saw in 80s rock videos where if somebody was singing about a hot teacher or cherry pie and they show a hot teacher or a slice of cherry pie. You know, there’s on the nose, and there’s “Please make this stop.”
Yeah, Katie’s kitchen was nice. We have to rebuild our kitchen because we had a giant leak, so I’m interested in kitchen design at the moment, but what the hell? Was this supposed to make all the frustrated suburban wine women think, “Well, I know what MSNBC says, but this Katie Britt sure looks simpatico, and wow, what a beautiful tiled backsplash!” This identity crap doesn’t work for Republicans. You’re not going to win suburban women by having someone pretending to be a suburban mom. She’s a senator. She’s not a suburban mom anymore. Sorry. Deal with it. You know how you’re going to persuade rational, non-MSNBC suburban moms? Put up someone who’s not insane, who is confident, and who she believes will keep her kids safe and her family out of bankruptcy, and not someone doing earnest emoting worthy of “General Hospital.”
Which brings me to who President Trump will choose as his vice-presidential running mate – it’s someone who must fit that bill. We’ve talked about this before a couple of times lately, and the key criteria are not to cause any damage, to have somebody capable of being president, and to have someone who brings something to the ticket as far as winning goes. The rumor I have heard is that JD Vance is under serious consideration, and JD is a solid guy. I don’t think he’ll hurt us – other than to cause us to have to run an additional Senate campaign in a state that has elected Democrats in recent memory. He is certainly competent. But what does he bring to the (not kitchen) table election-wise? Ohio? If you’ve got to nail down Ohio, you might as well pack it in now. I can live with JD Vance, and he is not a bad choice, but I’m not sure he’s the best choice strategically in 2024. I wouldn’t mind seeing him run on his own later.
No, the more I think about it, the more the choices narrow down to one pretty obvious one and one dark horse. The obvious one is Glenn Youngkin. He won’t hurt the ticket, and his leaving the governor’s office leaves us with Governor Winsome Sears, which is the exact opposite of a problem. Youngkin is absolutely competent, and he brings a ton to the table as far as winning goes – and winning is Job One. He makes Virginia, if not competitive, at least somewhere Dems will have to spend money. Rich donors are going to love him, including Nikki’s Trump-shy ones. And moderate suburban women like the ones that Katie Britt was supposed to appeal to are going to look at him and say, “Oh, he’s totally normal. I can live with him. He might chill Trump out.” (Spoiler: No one will chill Trump out, but let them believe it). Politically, I think he’s a little softer than I am, but pretty much everyone on Earth is a little softer than I am, so I’ll make do. Would he take it? Of course, he’ll take it. Everyone takes it.
The dark horse is Robert O’Brien, and maybe my bias is talking here, but I still think he’s a big plus in every category. He won’t hurt the ticket because everyone respects him. As the former National Security Advisor, he likes Trump and Trump likes him. He’s absolutely competent, and was the best NSA in 50 years. He also brings a lot of things to the table in terms of winning the election. First, the donors will love him. He knows them all and, hopefully, can talk the Trump-shy ones off the sidelines and into the game again. A very experienced trial lawyer, he will highlight how transcendently dumb Kamala Harris is. Finally, he’s a Mormon, and that is one identity category that would have a profound effect in swing states Nevada and Arizona (If we don’t have Utah already we’re done). We need those states to win the presidency. We also need to win the Senate seats in those states. Robert O’Brien is uniquely suited to win those folks over, and identity works for Republicans where the identity already leans Republican but has doubts about Trump (See, e.g., Mike Pence and evangelicals).
And then there’s Donald Trump himself. Sigh. Here’s the problem. Donald Trump can’t change. I’m not even sure if we want Donald Trump to change because the Donald Trump who sends mean tweets and bestows stupid nicknames is also the Donald Trump who defeats the ruling class, so you must take the annoying with the awesome. But did he really need to decide to intervene on behalf of TikTok, likely at the behest of a donor no one’s ever heard of? Did he have to start dissing Ron DeSantis again after not doing that for a couple of months following DeSantis’s endorsement? All Donald Trump has to do is be normal. Just be normal for a little while, Mr. President, and maybe reluctant people will be comfortable enough to vote for you.
There’s my wife across the room saying, “That’s not going to happen.” No, probably not.
But there’s no good reason to alienate DeSantis and Haley supporters further. Doing so simply shows more of the same lack of discipline we’ve found so frustrating and profoundly self-defeating for eight years. I am a died-in-the-wool DeSantis fan, and now that the primary is over I’m a died-in-the-wool Trump supporter, but everybody’s not as objective and ruthless as I am. Some folks are still driven by emotion. They’re mad because Donald Trump and his minions were and are mean to them. I think they should get over it. I’ve learned to ignore the mean tweetisms, and I’m completely indifferent to what the babbling halfwit crew of internet weirdos, meme-makers, and mutants who supported 45 online in the primaries have to say – and I also think it’s hysterical how the Trump campaign is now sidelining these freaks. But Trump doesn’t have to make things worse. Human nature says that if you insult somebody, he’s not going to like you and not do what you want. Stop insulting people whose vote you need. It’s not that hard.
Will Trump listen to me? No. Will Trump listen to anyone? Also no. But I’ve got to say it. I don’t know if there’s anyone around him saying it, though it doesn’t matter if they will because Trump’s going to do whatever Trump does. I have never seen a guy more in need of a command sergeant major to keep his bad instincts in check.
Yet, the most irritating things about Trump are also the best things about Trump. He’s a fixed-price menu, not a la carte. Oh well. In any case, if you’re mad at Trump and thinking of not voting for him, swallow your pride and get over it. We need to get Mr. Apologize to Murderers for Misimmigration-statusing Them out of office. And if that means we have to hear some stupid ramblings about “Ron Desanctimonious,” so be it.
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