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OPINION

So Who Will Trump Pick for Veep?

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Chris Carlson

With Nikki Haley disintegrating and being discarded like a floppy paper straw foisted upon us by the same kind of unsatisfied suburban wine women she hoped to use to win the nomination, it’s time to look ahead at Donald Trump’s options for his second Veep. 

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I’ll save you time – Mike Pence is not on the list. Oh, if he had only just done his job and sat there being pious and sober, but instead, he had to try to be Mitt without the edge. During Trump 1.0, Pence fulfilled the requirements of a modern Veep – the Veep used to be the campaign assassin, but with Trump, the head of the ticket is the stone killer. Pence did no damage to the ticket, which is a threshold requirement. Now, there were never any ugly rumors about Pence, as there are about several of the people we discuss below, but after Trump, rumors really are not going to dissuade GOP voters. Pence was also competent to take over if Trump burst a blood vessel or if one of the leftists who fantasized about murdering him – which was a lot of them, if you recall – got lucky. And he brought something to the table for the campaign, which was evangelical types skittish because of Trump’s open-minded views on aggressive and unrepentant heterosexuality.

So, the candidate needs to be someone who does no damage, is competent, and brings something to the table to help win. The problem is that many people being talked about fail on one or more of these basic points. 

Ron DeSantis meets all of them, assuming the shared state of residence issue can get glossed over. He would be an asset instead of a liability. He’s certainly competent, and he brings the ability to make this a unity ticket. He would bring in the remaining reluctant DeSantis supporters, and be opposed only by the terminally dumb Trump people who are currently being quietly willed into the cornfield by Trump’s much-improved campaign team, which understands that the mediocre meme mongers, fringie lunatics, and @ChubbyMAGA69-types have outlived their limited usefulness. 

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But there’s one big problem – Ron DeSantis has no desire to be second fiddle, and certainly not for Donald Trump. Arguably, being Veep would put him first in line for 2028, but he already thinks he is. Nikki’s hilarious failure makes that obvious.

Oh, Nikki. I have argued that 1) she is terrible and 2) her terribleness aside, she has – or had – real benefits for Trump if he picked her. But that was a while ago. A lot of Trump people hate her, especially since she started channeling The Bulwark without the pool boys. She’s also shown herself to be about 20 years behind the times; she’s Jeb! without the charm. She’s probably competent in the sense that she would not wander into the Oval Office after forgetting her pants, like the current occupant, but what does she bring to the table? The Democrats who crossed over to vote for her in the primaries will all vote for Crusty in November. The big donors she cultivated are now treating her like the Baby Ruth bar from the pool scene in Caddyshack. So what does she really bring to the ticket? An establishment presence hoping that Trump suffers a coronary or a conviction? Still, here’s some CPAC gossip – people who know tell me that she is still in the mix and in touch with Team Trump. 

There are a lot of other people we hear talked about, and most have problems. Senator Tim Scott is popular with the President. He’ll totally lock down South Carolina, but if a Republican needs to lock down South Carolina then he’s done already. Scott is black, but we know that otherwise liberal black people do not vote for black conservatives any more than they do for white ones – the idea that his race makes a difference is silly. Politically, he’s soft and establishment-curious, which helps dumb GOP donors to like him. His best quality is that he would not hurt the ticket, but he would not add much to it.

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There’s Vivek Ramaswamy, but he has the problem of being pretty much Trump’s Mini-Me. Everyone Vivek might attract to the ticket is already voting for the ticket. Yeah, his policy is mostly solid, but it’s largely already Trump’s policy. As with his campaign, there’s no need for Trump Lite when you have Classic Trump.

Governor Kristi Noem will nail down South Dakota – again, big whoop. She identifies as female, but the wine women will not like her because she likes guns. Again, generic category affinity and loyalty are not a thing for GOP candidates. She has a record of being soft in the culture wars but seems to have overcome that. She really does not hurt or help much.

Ditto North Dakota Governor Doug Burgum. He’s a good guy, but there are plenty of good guys. Like the governor of that other Dakota, he really does not hurt or help much.

Kari Lake gets talked about, but I spoke to her at CPAC (not about this), and she is all fired up for her Arizona Senate run. Dropping out of that winnable race for a VP slot would hurt the party. A lot of people buy the regime media’s lies about her, which is a problem. Maybe someday, after she wins this Senate race and shows that she’s not the caricature the regime media makes her out to be.

There’s Tulsi Gabbard, who Trump likes. She has a problem, though. She’s a liberal Democrat. The fact that she does not hate us does not make her one of us. She says a few things we like to hear, but that’s all she brings – no states, no donors, just ideological confusion. Nor does she have executive experience (though her military service is a plus). I like Tulsi, but not as a Veep.

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RFK, Jr? Come on. He’s a left Democrat. Stop this crazy talk. Plus, he hurts Biden by running third party.

There is talk of Byron Donalds, the two-term Florida congressman. He’s a solid conservative, but that’s it as far as his resume goes. Does he have the executive experience to be president with three years as a backbencher? What’s he bring to the table besides being ideologically reliable? That’s is no small thing, but it still ought to be something we take for granted. 

My friend Hugh Hewitt thinks Senator Tom Cotton is the man. I don’t know – Cotton is solid but probably a bit of a traditional GOP hawk for this foreign policy moment. Maybe that becomes a unifying plus – Jacksonians and interventionists standing together! He is young. His Senate seat is not at risk of going blue. Donors like him. He’s competent and reliably conservative. This guy will run for president someday, but is Veep the right job with that in mind? It’s just hard to see what he brings to the ticket – other than alienated GOP hawks, he does not get Trump a new demographic or state.

There is Governor Glenn Younkin. He’s capable and won a blue state – he might make Virginia a bit more gettable (though that’s unlikely). Donors love him. He’s conservative enough but appeals to suburbanites. He does not have to give up office to run and has the great Winsome Sears as his understudy if he wins. He’s a cis white male, but let’s face it – the electorate that might consider voting for a Trump ticket is not like Google AI. They do not care about such things, and the Dems are calling the ticket fascist, racist, sexist, and transphobic regardless.

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Elise Stefanik of New York has been in Congress for a decade and has made no secret she wants the gig. But is she going to bring us the Empire State? No. Is she going to bring us women? Not the frigid harridans who always vote Dem. She’s not particularly ideologically solid – her voting record is squishy and soft. It’s doubtful donors not already Trump-inclined will go for her. Her main asset is her performative loyalty to Trump. That’s not good enough.

There is talk of Ben Carson, a very nice and accomplished man. But again, what does he bring to the fight? Who would shift to support the ticket because of him? Every Carson voter is already a Trump voter.

A dark horse is Robert O’Brien, the former National Security Advisor and a personal friend, so I’ll try not to be biased when I discuss him. He’s smart and conservative, and everyone loves him, from MAGA to McConnell, because he’s both capable and pleasant. He can easily mix with billionaires and infantrymen (he served in the Army). Don’t let his demeanor fool you – he was an LA trial lawyer like me and America’s hostage negotiator, so he’s got a steel spine. Trump respects him. Donors love the guy. And he brings something electorally – he’s Mormon, and Nevada and Arizona are both critical states where that might matter. One problem is that Robert can do anything, and being Veep is, in a way, a waste of his talents.

Arkansas Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders is interesting (her dad Mike is one of my favorite people in the conservative media business, a true gentlemen). If she leaves office, her state is not at risk. She’s been a solid governor. No one except leftist nuts hates her. She’s personable and has a terrific media presence. She would be competent and govern like a conservative. Yet, while she passes the other tests, what does she bring to winning the election? Her state is red regardless. The female thing is not really a thing for Republicans. She is not hugely known to the public at large. It’s unclear how the donors feel, and money is huge this time. 

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Perhaps Iowa Governor Kim Reynolds. She’s not going to hurt, and she’s competent. Iowa is pretty solid red today, but she was all in for DeSantis, and picking her helps the unity angle. But she’s also largely unknown, and she’s probably less able to corral donors than, say, Huckabee Sanders.

So, basically, it’s a tough call, and I do not envy Trump having to make it. But he will, and perhaps shock us all, though probably not for a while – he wants all these folks out there working their tushes off for him, hoping they get the nod!

Follow Kurt on Twitter @KurtSchlichter. Get the newest volume in the Kelly Turnbull People’s Republic series of conservative action novels set in America after a notional national divorce, the bestselling Amazon #1 Military Thriller, Overlord! And get his new novel about terrorism in America, The Attack!

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