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National Divorce American Style

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of
AP Photo/Andrew Harnik

With the United States of America morphing into the United States of Chiquita, people are frustrated and flirting with the idea of dividing this banana republic in two. I wrote a series of books with that as the premise, and wrote about it in my non-fiction as well. I hate that people are even considering going down this road, but if the garbage regime wanted to provoke a schism I cannot think of a thing it would do differently.

Sadly, we lost one of the good ones the other day, Cameron Gray. A lot of us got into conservatism to save our country. We are doing that (even if it may not seem like it all the time), but a lot of us have also found a bunch of great friends. And Cameron was everyone’s friend. 

People Are Talking About A Split

You would think I would be cheering and hi-fiving now that the premise of my People's Republic conservative action novel series seems closer to fruition than ever. But I’m not. I am kind of hating being so uncannily accurate.

The country we once knew seems to be fading away. The norms we once thought we could rely upon – free speech, equal justice, chicks not having penises – seem like they are being tossed out of the window by those who would rule us. Principles have become a joke instead of a guardrail – when you hear someone lecturing you about “principles,” you can be absolutely sure that they mean you are morally obligated to forgo your own interests, but they are never expected to do so. A system where there are two sets of rules and laws cannot function for long, and it’s becoming more and more obvious even to the least based of the GOP dopes that this is what’s happening to America.

We’re sick of trying to fight these people in our red enclaves, and we know it will be difficult to hose them out of their blue rat holes. The specter of violence hangs over us – the Democrats used BLM to do their dirty work in 2020, and they have been oddly silent over the trans freak who murdered a bunch of Christians. But they have not been silent about offering their condolences and support to the trans radicals that spawned this anti-normal bloodlust. If he was not a senile old degenerate who does not know what he is doing from moment to moment, you would think that Joe Biden was taunting the mourners of the kids slaughtered by that creep when he decided to honor trans weirdness instead of memorialize the butchered. But while Crusty is lost in the hazes of dementia, the monsters who wrote that proclamation knew exactly what they were doing.

Why again would we want to stay bound to people who delight over our deaths, some covertly and deniably, but others out loud? Good question. Here’s the answer.

Because America is ours. All of it, from the Golden Gate to Central Park. People like us build this country. We feed it. We fuel it. We defend it. Kaden the woke Zoomer from Santa Monica doesn’t. Nancy the Chardonnay-soaked lib harridan from ‘Frisco doesn’t. Bimborella the drag queen doesn’t. It’s our country.

The siren song of splitting it all down the middle seems ever more tempting, but the hell with that. We’re not going anywhere. They say we can keep half? Here’s our counteroffer. We’re keeping it all. 

And on our terms. You don’t get to rule us. You don’t get to disenfranchise us. You don’t get to murder us. You want to raise the stakes? Raise them – we’ll meet you, and beat you.

Here’s our proposal. We’ll accept a fair and equal society governed under the actual terms of the Constitution, not some perversion of it. Everyone gets to live their life, speak their mind, and have a say. But if that’s not enough for you, then roll them bones and see if you can take the whole enchilada. See if you can impose your will on a couple hundred million American patriots who love their Second Amendment and are righteously pissed off at being treated like serfs by a bunch of smug mediocrities who can’t define “woman.”

Take our offer, because it’s the best deal you’ll ever get. And if you don’t, then our next offer is going to make you wish for that national divorce.

Adios Cameron

I got into this world ‘o conservatism in 2009 when Andrew Breitbart invited me in – actually, more like kidnapped me and dragged me in. And Irina and I met a lot of people we never otherwise would have, and many of them are among our closest friends. And now one of them has passed away.

Everyone in the business knew Cameron Gray. He was a gentle giant, always laughing and smiling. He worked for NRA News during the golden years when he produced for Townhall Media’s own Cam Edwards when Cam hosted “Cam & Company” every weekday. And yes, the many permutations of Cam could get confusing. But Cameron was the guy who got you on the phone or Skype or brought you into the offices just outside DC if you were doing a hit or guest hosting. Everyone who was anyone in conservatism did “Cam & Company” hits. That’s why everyone knew and loved Cameron Gray. 

What a great guy. He also traveled as an independent producer for football games and he would come over when he was in LA. We’ve got pictures of him in the house and out on the patio, all smiling. A patriot, and a friend.

And now he’s gone, suddenly and out of the blue. Word passed quickly among the conservative sphere and even people I did not know he knew were posting their memories and photos. All I can say is that when I go, I hope people are as sad. I kind of doubt it.

Cameron loved dogs, sports (we agreed to disagree), America, and his lovely bride Loretta. We’re sad to see him go, but we’re happy because we knew him. His passing reminds us that the ones we love are only here with us on this mortal coil for a brief moment. Remember that, and treasure them. 

Adios, buddy.

Follow Kurt on Twitter @KurtSchlichter. Get Inferno, the seventh book in the Kelly Turnbull People's Republic series of conservative action novels set in America after a notional national divorce, as well as his non-fiction book We’ll Be Back: The Fall and Rise of America.

My super-secret email address is


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