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OPINION
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I Want Every Communist to Take a Chopper Header

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AP Photo/Ismael Francisco

I don’t want to be Debbie Democracy Downer, but this Cuban thing is going to go nowhere fast. It’s not what I want. What I want is for every communist to take a chopper header or a lamppost swing as partial retribution for the 60 years of tyranny they have inflicted on a great people. Here’s how bad socialism is – it took a country full of Cubans and made it poor. And those bastards should pay.

But I have near zero hope that it will happen. President Crusty can’t even bring himself to call these commies “commies.” I figure we’ll have to wait for President DeSantis to send in the 82nd Airborne – after he fires all the generals and holds a wokeness intervention to cure the military of its current ideological pathologies so it could win. I don’t have much use for foreign interventions, having participated in a couple, but liberating an island 90 miles off our coast that the Chi Coms are slobbering to get a foothold on from a bunch of people with the same views as the Harvard faculty lounge seems like a pretty good use of our power. 

But the reality is that, for now, the Cubans are on their own. That senile old weirdo isn’t going to help them and the Squad would scream if he did. Having given up all their guns, the Cuban people are at kind of a disadvantage. My solution – collect up all the AK-47s thrown down by the guys our military geniuses in Afghanistan trained up – and airdrop them into Havana, seems like an unlikely outcome. 

There’s no way Grandpa Badfinger is going to arm the people seeking libertad, and he’s certainly not going to send in the Marines to play Cap the Commies. This means, basically, the best we could hope for are economic and other pressures. That is, nada. Abandoning the Cuban people is a standard Democrat move from way back when JFK did to the Cubans who he convinced to land at the Bay of Pigs exactly what he did to Marilyn Monroe, except only figuratively to the Cubans.

But why? I thought they liked oppressed Latinx folks. It’s because Democrats like Communist Cuba. They like everything about it, and they see it as a role model.

Democrats also want you disarmed.

Democrats also want fake elections.

Democrats also want a pliable state media.

Hell, just last weekend the FBI tweeted out that people should narc on their own family members for having bad thoughts

So, it should come as no shock that the *dministration has come down firmly on the side of pretending this isn’t some sort of groundswell of support for freedom. Here’s what Julie Chung, some drone with the improbable title “Acting Assistant Secretary for U.S. Department of State's Bureau of Western Hemisphere Affairs,” tweeted:

“Peaceful protests are growing in #Cuba as the Cuban people exercise their right to peaceful assembly to express concern about rising COVID cases/deaths & medicine shortages. We commend the numerous efforts of the Cuban people mobilizing donations to help neighbors in need.”

Yeah, they are “expressing concern” about the flu. See, that’s what “libertad” means – it’s Spanish for gesundheit.  

Just exercising those rights, right Jules? Sheesh. This ridiculous product of our garbage elite’s college conformity factories – like me, she got a poli sci degree at UC San Diego; unlike me, she drank the Kool-Aid while I drank Bacardi – then added:

“We are deeply concerned by ‘calls to combat’ in #Cuba. We stand by the Cuban people’s right for peaceful assembly. We call for calm and condemn any violence.”

Whoa, Nellie. I don’t condemn violence against communist dictators. I support it. People have a right to revolt against tyrants, and we should back them all the way. Hell, we should join in.

It’s baffling why some twit in DC thinks she gets to set the parameters for how other people in another country get to secure their freedom from a Marxist crime family. It’s morally good to fight communists. They are evil. They should not be worked with or compromised with. They should be defeated, utterly, and without a second thought. This baloney is simply a way to keep the miserable status quo – at least, for the Cuban people. 

The libs love it. They get to fly down and get wined and dined. They see all the cute ’57 Chevys. They get a prostitute in exchange for a bar of Irish Spring. Then they get to come back here and lecture us on Cuban literacy and health care. 

Asterisk won’t do squat except sputter out more clichés in that weird whisper voice of his. And the communists will keep up their oppression, while the Democrats will keep taking notes.

***

My sixth Kelly Turnbull action thriller, The Split, drops on 7/22! And it opens up in…Cuba! Get the most recent bestseller, Crisis, as well as my other four novels about what happens when America splits into red and blue countries, People's Republic, Indian CountryWildfireand Collapse

My super-secret email address is kurt.schlichter@townhall.com

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