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OPINION

The COVID Chaos Is a Net Plus for Trump’s Campaign

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Alex Brandon

So, Donald Trump has the Wuhan pangolin virus, and of course he does because it’s 2020 and how could he not have it? With this year, you take the most random scenario, you multiply it by 10, gobble a handful of the brown acid, and just go with it, and even then the whole thing spins even more out of control than you ever imagined. Now the question is what this all means for the campaign. I bet it helps Trump.

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Joe Biden’s got to be worried. Well, Grandpa Badfinger‘s handlers have to be worried. That crusty crustacean is probably still napping, trying to sleep off the hangover from all the Namenda and crank they pumped into him last Tuesday to keep him upright for an hour and a half. In any case, change is frightening, and this changes the nature of the campaign. No one, including the Geppettos who pull Bidennochio’s strings, know what’s going to happen. Their Chauncey Gardner victory plan has been disrupted, and it’s not like they’ve got the most flexible candidate. Suddenly, Biden is not the only one who is going to try and do a presidential run from his house. And all the advantages Biden had of being able to hide and not being the center of attention suddenly vanish.

And all the problems associated with being in the spotlight vanish for Trump. While people who aren’t sissies enjoy Trump’s two-fisted, take-no-prisoners style, Trump fatigue is a real thing. He can be exhausting to the weak and squishy who sadly make up a substantial part of the electorate. This diagnosis gives him a chance to pull back, to chill a bit, and when he does that his approval tends to rise as his achievements speak for themselves. 

Up until now, Donald Trump had been running a center-of-attention campaign, talking to the press all the time, doing tons of events and generally being in our faces while Gropey J was being in his basement. Joe Biden has been happy to be out of the spotlight, since direct light is hardly flattering. He (and his controllers) would prefer to have him sitting in his Barcalounger, slurping his mush and staring at his stories.

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But now Trump has options and does not have to be the focus every day, giving his soft supporters a respite from his restless energy. He couldn’t stop doing press and rally events before without drawing scrutiny, but now he can. Ditto dodging the next debate – he can do it if he wants, or not do it if he wants, with no fallout. He can still talk to the press if he feels like it, he’ll just have to be in a plastic bubble. But if he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t have to, and then you have a press with no one to talk to, so maybe the pressure grows on Joe to fill the void. And when Joe fills a void, it’s like when Nadler fills his trousers.

There are a couple of other intangibles. The first is this is yet another moment where the Democrat left comes off the leash and starts saying out loud all the things they were only supposed to say under their breath. Their dancing around hoping that Donald Trump will die, and that his wife will die too, is repellent to normal human beings. Since normal human beings are not a key liberal demographic, they probably don’t understand what psychos they sound like. The Democrats had to put the message out to their legions to stop rioting because that was freaking out the squares, and then stop trashing Amy Coney Barrett for liking Jesus and not being a barren, whiny, feminist shrew, because that was also freaking out the squares, and now publicly cheering on the death of the president and his wife will further freak out the squares. And there are a lot more squares voting than edgy elitists who think being avant garde means tweeting about how they hope Trump dies.

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Further, Trump’s going to get sympathy from normal people. The big question for the next two weeks is going to be “How is Donald Trump doing?” not “What did Donald Trump do now?” Him being sick also makes it harder for the lib media to drop their daily bombshell on him. How can you pick on this poor sick guy? But as Trump well knows, the big story is now going to be his condition. Within a few minutes of his diagnostic tweet, everyone had forgotten about Proud Boys, taxes, and all the other “This will totally get Trump!” nonsense. Congratulations, Donald Trump, you now control the news cycle even more than usual.

He’s going to get the best medical care in the world; he’s going to be just fine, and after burning up a couple of weeks in the White House he’s going to close the election with a barnstorming tour across the United States the likes of which we haven’t yet seen which will highlight his potency and contrast it with Oldfinger’s decrepitude. It will be a comeback tour and it will be fresh. All the rallies and things could’ve gotten old, but there will be double the attention on them now in the last couple weeks because he’s the underdog, he’s come back from beating the disease, and also because we haven’t seen him at a rally every day. Trump the showman has to know that.

Trump is going to triumph over this disease like he triumphed over the disastrous Obama economy and our garbage establishment’s track record of failure. This will show his strength and position him for a comeback since he’s now the plucky underdog. Joe Biden’s handler’s better be worried. Their plan just got disrupted, and Donald Trump has once again seized the initiative. 

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You know what’s not swimming with disease? My best-selling conservative thriller series about America splitting into red and bluePeople's Republic, Indian Country, Wildfire, and Collapse! Similarly uninfectious is my new non-fiction book The 21 Biggest Lies about Donald Trump (and You!)!

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