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Trump Cans Comey Like A Boss

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

We always knew Donald Trump was brassy, but until he sent half-stepping ex-FBI Director James Comey packing, we didn’t know that his manparts were made of brass. You gotta be hardcore to step up to that sanctimonious tool, that Kasich-With-A-Badge, and cut him off at the knees in the face of the inevitable monsoon of fake news media panic, girlish Democrat howling, and sputtering Menschian Russianoia.


No hesitation. No apologies. When it became inarguable that this pumped up functionary with delusions of omnipotence had finally passed his sell-by date, Trump pulled the trigger. That’s taking charge. That’s leading from the front. That’s regulating. Damn, it’s nice to once again have a chief executive who’s not a simpering femboy.

The pathetic Democrats were caught so utterly off-guard, and were so completely bought-into their spittle-flicking Comey hate, that their 180 from calling for Comey’s head to calling for his restoration will give them mental whiplash. They’ll be in figurative neck braces just like the one their hero Ted Kennedy wore after he left Mary Jo in the pond.

The morning of the day that Trump canned Comey, the Dems were in high dudgeon over Comey’s “correction” of his Senate testimony regarding how many classified emails Huma sent to her overexposed spouse. It was a lot less than what Comey told Congress…under oath…when everyone was watching. No biggie. He “clarified” it afterwards, so it was all good.

When normals give false testimony under oath, we call it “perjury,” and Comey’s former subordinates frog march them into federal prison. But when Comey does it, it’s merely an oopsie and he gets to shrug as the sad trombone blows.

Democrats have a beef about Comey telling Congress – which promptly leaked it – that he was reopening the Clinton investigation right before the election. But he was reopening it, and he assured Congress he’d let it know if he did, and it was a big deal. Hillary had no right to a free pass on the foreseeable consequences of her decision to flout the law. No toilet server, no hacks, no problem – this was all of her doing and no one should blame Comey for that. Nor was it Comey who kept her out of Michigan, Wisconsin, and the parts of Pennsylvania where people cling to their guns and religion.


But his “Free Pass for Hillary” press conference in July was perhaps the most transparently horrific decision by a Justice Department official since Janet Reno decided that she had to burn down the Branch Davidian compound to save its kids. Here’s the thing about Comey – he was arrogant. He was so arrogant that he took for himself the power to ignore the law because he determined, by himself, that if Hillary was treated like every other non-elite citizen the outcome would somehow be wrong. Voters might vote incorrectly if Hillary was held accountable and Comey, in his surpassing benevolent wisdom, could not allow that.

His press conference did incalculable damage to the American People’s faith in the rule of law. But he’s special, and his most-favored-felon treatment of fellow elite alum Hillary and her cadre of crooks was just professional courtesy.

His dedication to higher truth justified Jimmy lying to our faces. Any normal American, but not Hillary, would have been indicted over those classified emails – those of us who actually held security clearances understand that especially well. And that stuff about no prosecutor being able to prove the case? A first-year lawyer with a hangover could prove her U.S. Code violations to a jury of Kardashians with ADD.

Everything Comey said at that press conference after laying out that devastating indictment of Hillary Clinton was a lie. Everything. But he had his higher purpose. He was not bound by the petty rules that constrain lesser men.


It was never Comey’s job to determine whether to prosecute her. He was a cop – well, cops actually do cop things instead of ride a desk and stare lovingly into the mirror, but his role was law enforcement nonetheless. Comey was not a prosecutor. Yet he usurped that job because he felt that only St. Jim had the moral fortitude to see beyond and above our mere mortal laws. It was his obligation – nay, his duty – to ignore the statutes enacted by the People through the Congress and to do what he determined was right, not what the law required, not what his oath compelled, but what he felt good about.

Comey’s actions were not the actions of an officer of a democratic republic, but of an aspiring benign dictator who feels himself unbound by mere mortal laws. And history is replete with the heaps of bodies that lie at the far end of that slippery slope. Such men never stay benign long.

That pompous hack can never be too gone from office. He probably thought he was going to skate too, right up until the minute security showed up with an empty banker’s box to confiscate his access card and walk him out to the sidewalk.

The Democrats are fuming, enraged that President Trump dared to fearlessly exercise the power of every other president and dismiss those who serve at his pleasure whom he no longer finds pleasing. But he rejects the idea that because liberals disapprove, his every action is somehow illegitimate. Trump refuses to accept the narrative that he is The President*, America’s Asterisk-in-Chief.


Not a thing.

Savor this moment. You just lived through history. January 20, 2017, is when Donald Trump took the oath of office. May 9, 2017, is when he became President.

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