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OPINION

The Kaining of America

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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FRED WATKINS

According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, the verb “cane” means “to beat or flog with a walking stick.”  May I offer a homophone (words that have the same pronunciation but different meanings, origins, or spellings)?  Consider another verb, “kaine.”  “Kaine” is to impoverish, endanger, or enslave.  Joe Biden might say, “I kained my country by enabling Hunter to access classified documents left in my garage.”  Hillary Clinton might say, “I kained my country by allowing donors to the Clinton Foundation to have special access to me while I served as Secretary of State.”  George Soros might say, “I kained the United States by giving huge campaign donations to anti-incarceration prosecutors who then destroyed the criminal justice system and made violent crime commonplace.”  These are all proper uses of the new verb “kaine.”

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What is the verb’s derivation?  Kaine is derived from Tim Kaine, Virginia’s junior U.S. Senator since 2013, the protégé, friend, dutiful servant, and funding recipient variously of Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, and George Soros.  His actions in the Senate fall into the three categories attributed to this verb (impoverish, endanger, or enslave).  

Impoverishment.  Tim Kaine earned his right to have his name listed as a verb in the dictionary based on actions that have impoverished the American people, including those of his own state.  Kaine has voted in favor of every major spending bill introduced in Congress since 2020.  Those bills have produced skyrocketing inflation, leaving all Americans, particularly lower-income households, worse off.  When Kaine encounters a trillion plus spending bill, he votes for it.  He voted for the $2.2 trillion CARES Act.  He voted for the $3.7 trillion American Rescue Plan.  He voted for the $1.2 trillion Infrastructure and Jobs Act.  He voted for the $1.7 trillion Omnibus bill.  If Kaine applied the same spending principles he has adopted for the nation to his personal credit, the call centers at debt relief agencies would know him by name because he would call them all feverishly every day all day.  Kaine voices not the slightest concern about adding trillions to the $31 trillion national debt. 

According to a study by the Wharton School, “inflation in 2021 will require the average U.S. household to spend around $3,500 more in 2021 to achieve the same level of consumption of goods and services as in recent previous years (2019 or 2020).  . . . . Lower-income households will have to spend about 7 percent more while higher-income households will have to spend about 6 percent more.”  More and more Americans are less able to feed their families thanks to Kaine.  In short, Kaine has “kained” us all, impoverishing every American, not just this year but for years to come. 

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Endangerment.  Tim Kaine earned his right to have “kaine” added as a verb to the dictionary by actions that have endangered the American people, including Virginians.  Since President Biden’s inauguration in January of 2021, Kaine has not condemned a single presidential action that has left the southern border unprotected and has not introduced a single bill to secure America’s southern border.  He has done nothing to stem the invasion of over 6 million illegal aliens into the United States.  He has done nothing to interdict the criminal cartels from controlling American immigration policy.  He has done nothing to interdict the unlawful entry of fentanyl, drug trafficking, sex trafficking, gangs, and terrorists.  Indeed, nationally that failure has resulted in over 100,000 fentanyl deaths this past year and, in Virginia, 2,000 fentanyl deaths.  Countless individuals have suffered from violent crime nationwide due to the open border policy.  The architect of Biden’s destruction of border defenses is Homeland Security Secretary (an oxymoron in this case) Alejandro Mayorkas.  Kaine expresses his unqualified endorsement of Mayorkas.  

In Northern Virginia schools, Marxist critical race theory is taught.  Children are led to believe the falsehood that America is “systemically” racist.  Children of color are taught that no matter how hard they try, they will always be “oppressed,” “victims” of racism in private industry, in government, and in society.  White children are taught that regardless of what they think, they are “oppressors” by the mere fact of their pigment.  During McAuliffe’s ill-fated campaign for governor against Glenn Youngkin, Kaine said “CRT is not being taught in Virginia schools.”  Kaine’s own wife, Anne Holton, served as Virginia Secretary of Education under McAuliffe.  During her tenure, CRT training was offered by the DOE to teachers across the state, a fact Christopher Rufo discovered on the Virginia DOE web site.  By falsely indoctrinating children into believing America irredeemably racist, educators are destroying children’s hopes and dreams, violating the Fourteenth Amendment’s equal protection clause, and endangering our nation by encouraging youth to become Marxists intent on destroying it.

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In addition, Kaine has endorsed for re-election a candidate he considers a model for Virginia, state senate candidate Elizabeth Guzman, former political operative for Democrat Socialist Bernie Sanders.  Guzman introduced a bill in the Virginia General Assembly that would make it a felony for a parent to advise his or her own child not to transition.  Fully aware of that infamous bill and not at all dissuaded by it, Kaine endorsed this candidate who would endanger the welfare of Virginia children and make it a crime for parents to exercise their parental rights.

Thus, as these many examples reveal, Kaine has “kained” America by endangering it.

Enslavement.  Tim Kaine earned his right to have “kaine” added to Webster’s by refusing to stop the imposition of government planned economies (socialism) over the energy sector and refusing to stop vaccine mandates, which he favors.  Despite the fact that 125,000 Virginians in the energy sector stand to lose their jobs if Biden fulfills his promise of eliminating fossil fuels within ten years, Kaine has neither opposed Biden’s plans nor introduced legislation to end radical regulatory strictures on fossil fuel production, storage, and distribution.  In this way Kaine helps raise gas prices at the pump and deprive Americans of the freedom to work in the energy industry or enjoy $2 gallon gas at the pump and affordable home heating oil.  He fully supported Virginia Governor Ralph Northam’s COVID-19 lockdown orders which forced Virginians to remain in their homes Midnight to 5AM, restricted access to restaurants and bars (leading many to go out of business), and prevented Virginians from exercising their right to travel, to assemble, and to worship.  

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Thus, as these examples reveal, Kaine has “kained” America by enslaving it.

Because the word Kaine has such a rich derivation in facts indicative of impoverishment, endangerment, and enslavement, we should all use that term in the vernacular to mean those things.  Then, in a year or so, we may lobby Webster’s, the Cambridge Dictionary, and others to recognize kaine as a new, and awful, verb.

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