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Saint Obama Performs another Miracle by Making Unemployment Recede

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Magically and providentially, Obama has enjoyed the largest one-month drop in unemployment since he got elected thanks to the greatest single month of job creation since 1983- all just weeks before ballots hit for his reelection bid.


“The U.S. unemployment rate dropped below 8 percent for the first time since the month President Barack Obama took office,” reports the Associated Press  “a surprising lift for both the economy and his re-election hopes in the final weeks of the campaign.”

Yeah; we’re all REAL surprised by this.  

According to the AP, Jack Welch, the retired former CEO of General Electric, said on Twitter: "Unbelievable jobs numbers ... these Chicago guys will do anything ... can't debate so change numbers."

For those of you who doubted Obama’s godly credentials, shame on you.

“To be made a saint in-a the Catholic church,” said Father Guido Sarducci, “you have to have-a four miracles. That's-a the rules, you know. It's-a always been that-a. Four miracles.”

See more on unemployment numbers at: Unemployment Rate 7.8%- The Web's Most Complete Report 

Obama is continuously making miracles happen, like the time he killed Osama bin Laden just by staring at him; or that other time he produced 7 whole, new states while on the campaign trail.    

This latest miracle of miracles has Obama creating a precipitous rise in part-time workers suddenly finding employment. Talk about loaves and fishes!

Almost 600,000 more people found part-time work than one month ago, a stunning 7.25 percent increase in part-time work month-over-month.  

And how do government economists provide this miracle data for Saint Obama?

By polling.

Yes, the same methodology that told us that Scott Walker would lose his recall bid; the same methodology that has Democrats showing up at the polls by 7-11 point advantages in turnout and have Obama up 7 points on Romney. Yes, this same methodology has produced stunning job creation results, just in the nick of time.

Math? No. A miracle.

You can almost feel Pharaoh’s Army closing in on him, and all Obama has to do his raise the staff from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the red sea of unemployment recedes.

Hey, maybe those 600,000 part-timers were just all extras for Obama’s movie Wag the Dog Part II- Out of Egypt.  

It’s kind of getting embarrassing, though isn’t it?

The Fed throws the Hail Mary pass with QE4Ever! just a week ago because they are worried about the employment situation, and all the while we have been producing wonderfully robust, phantom jobs- in record numbers.

You’d have to go back to February of 2009 to see the number of part-time workers increase at higher rate than suddenly has been produced by our backwards economy in the last month. And the 2009 numbers were produced by hiring for the U.S. Census and the U.S. government.

Beyond February 2009, part-time jobs once posted a gain of 6.5 percent and once a gain of 5.5 percent under Obama. And U-6 -- total unemployed, plus all persons marginally attached to the labor force, plus total employed part time for economic reasons, as a percent of the civilian labor force plus all persons marginally attached to the labor force- is still unchanged at 14.7 percent.

This robust hiring activity seems to be leading to high gas prices too.  

As Tyler Durden at Zero Hedge says, On This Day In History, Gas Prices Have Never Been Higher (Again)

While we are told to assume it is entirely transitory and speculation-driven, the price to drive your brand new GM Truck (leased for 30 years, interest-only via your EBT card) has never been higher. Do not worry though since this is only temporarily going to mean 'little Timmy' needs to go without food.

But the unemployment data sure makes for a good headline in any event.

A miracle of a headline.

So, Democrats can resume praying…now.

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