How are you doing in your cute little safe spaces? Who’s an adorable college student? You are! That’s right! Look how big you’re all getting! You’re all doing really well, too! You’re all so smart and strong!
Wait, is that a little too patronizing? You don’t like being talked to like you’re five years old?
Then maybe you should stop acting like little children throwing a tantrum!
Nobody wants to hear a college student from freaking YALE complain about how tough and racist it is at college.
Newsflash, you pampered little asshats! It doesn’t matter what color you are: if you’re going to college in America, you’re one of the most privileged, least discriminated-against people on Planet Earth.
I can’t even tell you how pathetic it is to hear pampered kids TWEET about racism like it’s the 1940s because of First World Problems most people don’t even consider a mild inconvenience. Want to see what I’m talking about? Here are some actual tweets from a #BlackOnCampus hashtag on Twitter talking about how bad black students have it.
Being #BlackOnCampus =being afraid to answer questions in class for fear of being wrong/seen as "stupid" in front of white peers. -- Ericka
Black students being a population of 7% on a campus of 35,000+ #BlackOnCampus -- JB
#BlackOnCampus feeling the need to tone down my emotions- including anger- because of the fear of being seen as "ratchet" or "ghetto" -- afroamericano sunnyd
#BlackOnCampus "Oh, you straightened your hair. It looks good, you should do that every day" -- Khayla Harris
Wow, the struggle is real!
If only civil rights activists in the past who had dogs sicced on them by Democrat police chiefs or who had to worry about being lynched by Democrat KKK members had to face challenges like this, who knows how everything would have turned out?
Then there are the poor students at the University of Missouri who’ve been going out of their minds over some trivial incidents, half of which may or may not have been hoaxes. The most entertaining one was a “poop swastika.” I don’t even want to know what type of moron would actually make a swastika on a wall with his own feces, but it would serve him right if he didn’t wear gloves.
If that’s enough to make you feel “unsafe,” then maybe we should fly in “blankies” and pacifiers. Next, we can hire thousands of British nannies to show up and pat everyone on the back. Then to top it all off, we could give you cookies and milk and tell you that you’ll always be special until you feel better!
Oh, sorry, given the way that everyone is behaving, I keep forgetting that I’m not talking to small children.
Since we are ostensibly talking about adults here, the young men on the losing University of Missouri football team who held a boycott until the university president resigned? If he had any guts, he wouldn’t have resigned; he would have told all of them to get back to football or lose their scholarships.
Incidentally, I don’t want to make this sound like black college students are the only ones acting like fragile little flowers. There also seems to be an almost unlimited supply of airheaded white kids who are also marching and making demands.
We demand that our student loans be paid off! We demand free college! We demand a $15 minimum wage!
First of all, here’s a crazy idea: Since you’re the one who primarily benefits from your own college education, YOU should be the one who pays for it. If your family wants to help out, that’s great, but speaking for everyone else who’s not related to you, we don’t care whether YOU get your degree in art history or women’s studies or not. Only a parasite would demand that others pay his debts. Stop being so selfish and take care of yourself.
As for a “free” college education, our county has an 18.5 trillion dollar deficit and we’re already on track to add to it from now until the rest of the world cuts us off, our economy craters, and we end up mired in a new “Great Depression.” We don’t need a massive new program that would add trillions to the debt after all the pie-in-the-sky projections about what it would cost inevitably end up being wrong.
The minimum wage? How much of a jackhole do you have to be to petition the government to FORCE YOUR EMPLOYER to raise your salary instead of changing jobs or learning some new skills that would actually make you worth more than the minimum wage? Assuming you are of sound mind and body, there is something wrong with you as a human being if you are content to spend the rest of your life making the minimum wage in a country like America.
Oooh, sorry, are you trembling in the corner of your safe space now? Is this too much “whitesplaining” for you? Wait -- or is it “mansplaining?” Instead of writing this column, should I be listening to the wisdom of our special snowflakes in colleges all over America?
That would be a great idea if YOU KNEW ANYTHING. The majority of college students know almost nothing about life while thinking they know everything and they’re extremely self-righteous about it. I know that because I was in college and I was like you guys. Well, not the people out there protesting. I was a lot smarter than you guys. You guys are pretty ignorant actually, even for college students who are, by definition, still being educated.
It may not seem like it, but I’m trying to help you right now by telling you how ridiculous you sound. I wish I could just politely point that out, but all the fragile students out there need some tough love if they don’t want to waste years learning this the hard way once they get out of college.
With that in mind, I run a small business and this may trigger you, but I wouldn’t even consider hiring someone who talks about “trigger” warnings non-ironically. You want to talk about micro-aggressions? Real micro-aggressions are part of daily life. Someone is rude to you, your boss is a jerk, someone flips you off in traffic, somebody doesn’t like you for no good reason, a cop gives you a ticket you don’t think you deserve, something on TV or in the paper offends you – this is just life and when it happens, you don’t call a counselor, you don’t have a breakdown, you just deal with it. That’s the real world outside of a “safe space.”
So abandon your safe spaces, stop demanding that people only tell you what you want to hear and listen to people other than your “we teach because we can’t do” left-wing professors. Push yourself. Test your limits. Try and fail. Read some history books written by people other than Noam Chomsky and Howard Zinn. Try to actually be open-minded rather than just adopting whatever ideas you’ve been told open-minded people hold. Listen to some people you don’t agree with, try to grasp their point of view and ask yourself if they may be right. It may be more uncomfortable, but it will also make you grow as a human being and I don’t care who you are, if you’re in college, you need to do that DESPERATELY.
At the end of the day, boys and girls need to be protected with safe spaces. Men and women don’t. So, which do you want to be?