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OPINION
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I Can See Why Donald Trump Wanted Nothing to Do With His Pathetic Niece Mary

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Alex Brandon

Family, am I right? Most people won’t react weirdly to that because we love our families and get along with all of them. But some people, well, they’re related to jackasses no one wants to be around. Siblings no one talks to, cousins they “forget” to invite to family events, aunts or uncles that cause a chill up the spine when they show up, etc. Mary Trump, niece of former President Donald Trump, strikes me as that type of person.

I don’t know when the last time she saw her uncle or anyone in the family was, but it’s pretty clear they’re all better off for the fact that it was too long ago to remember, as Mary seems like a real bag of douche.

Mary seems upset that she did not share in the financial success of the Trump Company after Donald bought out other family members. Maybe she should be mad at the people who sold, not the ones who bought. Either way, I couldn’t care less – people get angry for all sorts of stupid reasons, most of which are unjustified.

All I know of Mary is she’s cashing in. Aside from the child molester-enablers over at the Lincoln Project and soulless unknowns and sell-outs at the Bulwark, Mary Trump might be the biggest opportunist in politics. She’s written books, been all over TV, gets speaking gigs, the whole Henry Rogers, er, I mean Ibram X. Kendi treatment of elevating a dim bulb no-talent because they’re a useful idiot.

For Henry, it landed him tens of millions of dollars for his “think tank.” That he can account for where it went is just funny. 

What will come next for Mary is anyone’s guess. After the election, the “useful” part of her “useful idiot” status runs out, leaving only the “idiot” part.

Maybe that will be enough for her, I don’t really care if she spends the rest of her life miserable or anything else, though I will laugh a little if she does. All I know is she will be irrelevant after November, and we’ll all be better off for it.

The novelty has already largely worn off. The “shock value” of someone named Trump attacking Donald is gone. After the election, the typical standards of appearance for cable news will be enforced again and she’ll be as welcome at MSBNC and CNN as Cindy Sheehan was after the 2008 election. Remember her? A cable news regular and THE FACE of the anti-war movement under President George W. Bush, once Barack Obama won the election everyone in media collectively deleted her contact information. She mattered, they cared (or at least pretended to on television), then Bush was no longer in office the entire anti-war movement disappeared from television screens, which was odd since the war continued for years after.

I expect the same thing to happen to Mary Trump. 

If Donald loses, she offers nothing of value. It Donald wins, she offers nothing of value. Does she have any idea about anything related to policy or legislation? She’s known for complaining about how her uncle exists, which isn’t exactly deep, thoughtful or interesting, and the stories of alleged family events and encounters she has told and sold lose all relevancy no matter how the election goes.

I don’t know that she’ll end up like a former child star desperate for attention and unable to handle no longer being relevant, but I wouldn’t be surprised.

People who get used up and spit out by the media are legion, when Mary Trump joins them she will crash hard. She’s a regular signatory of Democratic Party fundraising emails, likely getting her beak wet in the process. What happens to someone with no discernable skills when they can no longer trade on her name? We’re gonna find out, which will be both fun and exciting, but the smart money is on it not ending well.

Pay attention, kids, this is why you don’t want to be the “idiot” part of useful idiot, just be useful. Find your place, add value, be smart and you won’t have to worry about it. And your family will want to still be around you too. Friends don’t let friends grow up to be Mary Trump.

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