Democrats have sent out some really stupid fundraising email pitches in the past few years, but this week I received what may well be the dumbest one yet – by a lot. And considering how dumb and desperate they’ve gotten over the past year, that’s saying a lot.
The sender name read, “REQUESTING YOUR URGENT RESPONSE (via DCCC),” and it all went downhill from there.
The subject line was nonsense, or I’m missing something. It read, “Calling on Bend, OR Democrats >>.” I left the arrows at the end because they were there and added to the moronic nature of the whole mess. I can’t even guess what it could mean.
The email opens, “this is one of your first chances of the year to submit feedback to Democratic HQ! Please do not ignore this incredibly important (but very brief) survey.” It’s “incredibly important”! It’s also brief. More on that in a minute.
“According to our records you’re one of our top Bend, OR supporters,” it reads next. Again, it’s so “incredibly important” and I’m such a huge supporter (without ever having given them a penny) that they can’t bring themselves to proofread their communications with me? If I had given them money in the past I’d be pissed off that none of it went to any level of quality control.
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“That’s why you were chosen as one of the TOP Democrats to represent 97702 in our brief 2023 House Majority Strategy Survey,” it goes on. I don’t live in the 97702 zip code. At least I figured out what the hell they were talking about with the “Bend, OR” stuff, as 97702 is the zip code for there. Why they’re sending it to me on the other side of the country will forever remain a mystery.
They continue, “the first polls of the year show our House Democrats neck and neck with House Republicans -- and we’re just one point away from flipping the House blue!” Is there an election soon I’m unaware of? Is House control subject to polling data? Are Democrat donors dumb enough to buy any of this?
“And as we gear up for the fight of our lives, we need to build a Majority-winning strategy informed by our best grassroots supporters all across the country,” they declare. “That’s why we’re asking for your URGENT response to our 2023 House Majority Strategy Survey. Our survey is just seven questions long and takes 30 seconds to complete. This is one of your first chances to let us know what’s on your mind before we draw up our 2023 Majority-winning strategy -- so please don’t pass it up!”
Their survey is super-URGENT, only seven questions long and will only take 30 seconds. I had to know what the pressing matter was, so I clicked the link.
First off, there were only five questions, not seven. You’d think someone would notice that along the way, but the questions are so completely stupid and irrelevant that only someone looking at Forrest Gump as a genius would ever give these people money.
The first question is: “What do you think is the greatest threat to our chance of flipping the House from red to blue? Please select up to three. 1 Fox News and the Republican lies, 2 Republican gerrymandering, 3 Voter suppression, 4 Republican mega donors and record-breaking fundraising, 5 Other.”
They then ask which states they should focus on and one of the choices is actually California. Yes, Democrats, please spend tens of millions locking down California in the next election, it’s totally up for grabs! Then they ask how likely you are to vote in the 2024 election, which is another dumb question.
It then rolls on to this doozy, “Supporters like you showing up to vote is the best way to help flip the House and reclaim our Majority. And with sky-high stakes, your support has never been more important. We’re giving this fight everything we have, but we can’t win it alone. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to ensure we reclaim our House Majority?”
That last line really is considered a question in this URGENT survey, and they only give you one option for an answer, “Yes.”
The seven question survey then ends after question five and begs for money. Naturally, a donation is the only way to fully submit this URGENT questionnaire, because how could anyone expect to sift through such important and serious data if you don’t pony up some serious cash?
We all know committed leftists leave a lot to be desired when it comes to intelligence, but they’re seriously getting dumber at a disturbing rate.
