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OPINION
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Triple Stupid, Triple Desperate

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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If Donald Trump didn’t exist, Democrats would have to create him. Without him and the bogeymen they create around him, the entire left-wing industrial complex would be broken. Think about it, is there a single human being actually inspired to action (or anything) by Joe Biden? Nancy Pelosi? Chuck Schumer? Absolutely not. But the fear of someone NOT approved by those people and the philosophy they represent seems to drive everything the left does, and nothing instills that fear like Donald Trump.

I wake up Saturday morning and check my email and I see the subject line, “Trump rally RUINED.” Now, I don’t keep up with Trump rallies, or any rallies for events more than a year away. But it was only a matter of time that the rallies started again because there isn’t much else to do when you’re the only announced candidate this far ahead of campaign season. 

That being said, I had to wonder how it was that the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC, who the email was from) was going to “RUIN” Trump’s rally. Naturally, I thought they might be encouraging people to RSVP for it and not show up, or maybe even attend and heckle – I wouldn’t put anything past these people. But no, it was even more pathetic than that.

“BREAKING: Trump holding FIRST rally in South Carolina TONIGHT,” the email opens, “we need to move NOW. In just a few hours, Trump will take the stage for his FIRST rally since launching his Presidential campaign. And before time runs out, we’re putting a plan into motion to make it completely BACKFIRE.”

Ooh, sounds good, doesn’t it? The geniuses over at the DCCC must’ve cooked up something amazing to ruin this Trump rally. So, what was it? Well…

“Top Democrats have agreed to UNLOCK the 300%-MATCH for the first 500 gifts we receive to defend our House Democrats,” they say. “Can we count on you to rush $3 to help us defeat Trump’s House Republicans and protect our House Democrats? We’re calling on just 500 grassroots Democrats to step up so we can ECLIPSE Trump’s rally before he even takes the stage.”

And there it is – the con goes on. 

“Trump's Republicans are officially back in control of the House of Representatives,” it continues. “And now, they’re hoping to DEFEAT President Biden and usher in a TOTAL Republican takeover! So if this grassroots team rises up to make Trump’s rally BACKFIRE, we won’t just hand him a STUNNING rebuke…  ...we’ll also show his Republicans that we’re coming to reclaim our Majority and flip the House BLUE. Can we count on you to rush a 300%-MATCHED $3 gift right now to reclaim our critical House Majority?”

The horror…the horror.

Just think about this for a minute: how dumb do you have to be to think sending $3 to the DCCC would ruin Trump’s day?

If they get what they want, what would that look like? 

Well, $3 from 500 people is $1,500 in what they hilariously call “gifts.” Then you triple that, which takes it to $4,500. That’s it, that’s the total that will “RUIN” Trump’s initial campaign rally for the 2024 election.

It’s so stupid that you have to laugh. And you almost have to feel sorry for any sucker dumb enough to fall for it. 

Then you realize that if these people weren’t giving their money to places like the DCCC they’d be burning down their houses by setting it on fire some other way – smoking meth or stockpiling Beanie Babies while mumbling to themselves about how their value is bound to return. Whatever it is, a moron and their money are soon parted.

By the way, the “triple match” is garbage. There is no one willing to turn $1 into $3, nor is there a magic unicorn who can eat a dollar and poop more. And there are limits to how much individuals can donate. Matching other people’s donations would quickly bring those people to their limit, so they’re implying these people would break the law for the party? Why, if they have this money to give, wouldn’t they just give it in the first place?

Nothing these people do makes sense or is based in reality, but Democrats will not be constrained by the truth. They never have before, why would they start now?

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