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OPINION

A Bold Compromise On Abortion

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Jose Luis Magana

The leak from the Supreme Court this week of a draft opinion has set every leftist pearl-clutcher on edge. If, through some sort of miracle, these soft-skulled non-birthing persons managed to impregnate a genuine birthing person, they might have to take some responsibility for their actions over the resulting child, and nothing scares the hell out of a leftist like the prospect of taking responsibility for their actions. Naturally, they freaked out. But I think there’s a middle ground to be had here, one where left and right, pro-life and pro-abortion, can come together to settle this debate once and for all. I humbly offer up a bold compromise on abortion.

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Some people believe abortion is murder because it ends a life, others view it as compassionate because having a child can end your social life. Whether you fall on the side of science or the superficial party time, there has to be a middle ground, right? To those Democrats who insist abortion is a “deeply personal” or “really hard choice,” I’d be tempted to ask why – how can removing something you refer to as a parasite be difficult? Do you lose sleep over having your cat dewormed or a mole removed? 

If it’s hard because you know you’re ending a human life, well, then we have to have a different discussion, don’t we? 

I get how that’s a discussion you’re no more ready to have than the cable news “legal experts” are ready or capable of discussing the actual merits of what Justice Sam Alito wrote, preferring to appeal to emotion instead (which is a tell). Maybe someday, just not today. 

With that in mind, allow me to put out a proposal that allows us to test just how popular and necessary abortion is and, if Democrats are correct and telling the American public the truth, would put to bed the issue once and for all.

First, institute a nationwide pause on abortions, all abortions, for a week so we can get everyone prepared for the test. Then, once everyone is ready, offer unfettered, taxpayer funded abortions up to the moment of birth, and maybe even for a few days after, for a small segment of women to see just how many really avail themselves of it.

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This might be a tough sell for pro-lifers, but I really think if we do this for a month we can get some important, usable data to set abortion policy going forward. 

For something like this to work it needs both sides to get something they want. For the pro-lifers, this will put a nationwide pause on abortion except for a small group of women. For the pro-abortion crowd, it would introduce taxpayer funded abortions for everyone, regardless of need. Also, and more importantly to the left, the test group will be one of the “communities” they cherish and separate from everyone else for favor.

For this test to find out just how important and necessary abortion is, and how crucial it is that taxpayers pick up the tab, I propose choosing a “marginalized,” and Democrats say, group. Perhaps the most marginalized. Make abortion legal and free for trans women only to see how many of these women avail themselves of the service and, if there is a big demand, expand from there accordingly. 

I know what you’re thinking, “Hey, aren’t trans women really men?” First, you’re obviously a monster. Second, you’re a monster who doesn’t understand science. 

We’ve just spent years being lectured on how “trans women ARE women” by the part which, just a month ago, had a Supreme Court nominee incapable for defining what a woman is. Miraculously, once this leak happened, they all suddenly remembered basic biology and knew exactly what one is. But they still insist trans women are women, so let us take them up on that offer.

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If, in fact, trans women are women, the need for abortions would be just as real, correct? Make the offer. Democrats can’t really deny “perhaps the most marginalized community in the country” their fundamental rights, can they? Would they? 

This is an opportunity for conservatives to expose the left as the hypocritical frauds they are. Democrats are running around screaming “Women’s rights” and insisting men should not have a say in anything related to those “rights.” How can anyone say what constitutes a woman? They couldn’t just a few hours ago, now they’re all gynecologists. 

Confront them with their own insanity, offer to make abortion legal and “free” for trans women and see how they respond. They’ll either agree and look stupid to the rest of the country, or they’ll roll their eyes like an adult does when a teenager pretends to still believe in the Easter Bunny. Either way, we win. That’s a “compromise” I can get behind. 

Derek Hunter is the host of a free daily podcast (subscribe!), host of a daily nationally syndicated radio show, and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses, and host of the weekly “Week in F*cking Review” podcast where the news is spoken about the way it deserves to be. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter 

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