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Obama’s Bathroom Decree Unburdens Us All From Reality

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

Hi, I’m Derek Hunter and I’m a straight, white male. I’m 6 feet 5 inches tall, have brown hair and two different color eyes. At least, that’s how I actually am. But thanks to an insane group of pandering, division-loving progressive leftists, I am now free to claim to be, or “identify” in the current socially acceptable parlance, as anything I want. 


It’s good to know the president has enough free time to worry about such things as people’s right to use whichever bathroom they want. I was afraid he’d be bogged down with the fight against ISIS or his sputtering, failed economy. Nope. 

Since instructing the Justice Department, which also finds itself unburdened by pesky job-related obligations such as investigating Fast and Furious, the IRS being sicced on Americans because of their political beliefs, or the timely conclusion of looking into a former secretary of state treating classified material like junk mail, is finally addressing the civil rights issue of our time. 

Since the administration has decreed public schools can’t deny anyone’s “right” to use any facility – bathroom, shower, sports team – simply because of the fact of their biology, lest they risk losing federal funding, gym class is going to be a lot of fun when hormone-raging guys realize they’re one meaningless, un-disprovable, non-binding declaration away from showering with cheerleaders. Oh, to be 16 again.

This is the world Barack Obama and the Democratic Party is constructing for us – the denial of basic biology. Someone more cynical than I might point out the disconnect between those who’ve morphed “climate change” into a religion through the deification of science now denying the undeniable scientific fact that some people have “innies,” while others have “outies.” 

Mocking euphemisms aside, females of our species have two “X” chromosomes and males have an “X” and a “Y.” This fact is not in dispute. What it means in terms of which bathroom to use is.


I don’t care how you live your life – if you want to be a productive member of society or a worthless junkie, knock yourself out. Just don’t ask me to subsidize or cheer your choices, and I’ll extend the same courtesy to you. That is no longer permissible in 2016. 

The problem isn’t transgendered people using either bathroom; they’ve been around a long time and rarely have been noticed (unless they’ve always been holding it). If you’re a man who lives as a woman and uses the women’s bathroom, you’ve probably never been stopped. There’s no one outside public restrooms with a clipboard and velvet rope frisking you before you enter, and most people don’t pay attention to others going in and out of bathrooms. That’s not the issue. The issue is the people who do pay attention to who goes in and out of bathrooms.

In a nation of 330 million people, there are quite a few sick people out there who don’t simply subscribe to the “live and let live” philosophy. If a pervert gets off on being in the ladies room while women do their business he’d be arrested. If some sicko wants to be around young girls doing whatever women do in there, he would be arrested. What the Justice Department is doing is offering each and every one of them cover now.

Since being transgendered is undefined, all these perverts can simply claim they’re transgender, and suddenly every dad of an 11-year-old girl is a bigot.  

In short, the Obama administration is offering cover to any weirdo with a bathroom fetish. And it’s using your tax dollars to enforce it.


There is an upside. If the federal government is going to impose this nebulous standard on schools under the Civil Rights Act, it won’t be able to deny the same rights to prisoners. So if you’re a man facing any sort of federal prison term, declare yourself trans and…well, you can do the math.

There literally would be no justification for gender-segregated prisons if the Civil Rights Act were applied this way. The state can’t justify discrimination anywhere, especially when they’re “fighting” the exact same kind of it elsewhere. 

In fact, why stop there? If the federal government is going to negate the fact of biology when it comes to public restroom usage, it can’t use it anywhere. If gender can be ignored, why can’t other biological facts be ignored? 

They are, actually.

Remember Rachel Dolezal? The white woman who “identifies” as black? That’s just an accepted part of life now. As is Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren’s lie about being Native American. 

Rather than being shunned for their proven lies, Dolezal was rewarded with a book deal; Warren not only got a Senate seat out of the deal, but the media praise her every utterance and urge her to join the Democratic ticket as vice presidential candidate.  

And here we are, being ourselves like suckers.

Perhaps we should all claim to “identify” as whatever will best help us at any given moment. Jam the system. If government is going to demand gender is whatever you want it to be at any given time, game on. 


Applying for college? Claim every ethnicity and gender, go after every dime of scholarship available to everyone. All you have to do is “identify” as such. Who are they to judge? 

A lot of people, myself included, have pets we jokingly refer to as our children. Who’s to say we’re joking? I don’t have kids yet, for all I know the way I feel about my pets is exactly how parents feel about their kids – hello tax deduction! The government can’t tell me I’m wrong; it’s how I feel on the inside. 

There is literally no end to the possibilities, and by the standard set by the Obama administration on gender in public schools, no way to disprove any of it. Everyone is free to be anything, which means we’re all everything or nothing.  

Thanks to this asinine ruling by this administration, we’re all free to ignore what we are and declare ourselves whatever we want to be, whenever it suits our needs. It’s stupid, it’s crazy, but apparently it’s our civil right. I just don’t know how we missed it for all these years. 

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