Is Barack Obama the Messiah?
Before we answer that question, let me vent for a moment. In 2000 I was
cruelly denied the Pulitzer despite being the only columnist in America to
ask the pressing question: Is Al Gore an alien? The evidence was there for
all to see. He was born nine months after the mysterious alien sighting at
Roswell, N.M. His weird syntax and verbal rhythms are otherworldly. He often
refers to "earth" or "this planet" as if he's just passing through, and he
once angrily complained to the Washington Post that it had printed a picture
of the earth from outer space "upside down."
There is no "upside down" in space - unless Gore had his childhood view in
mind.
At least I'm not in the wilderness this time. Lots of people have pondered
the possibility that Barack is our Divine Redeemer. There are Web sites
dedicated to the question "Is Barack Obama the Messiah?" Google that
question and you'll get more than 35,000 hits. (Enter just the words
"Messiah" and "Obama" and you'll get nearly 10 times that.)
But there's more concrete evidence. Since Obama declared his candidacy,
there have been remarkably few biblical plagues. And lions and lambs seem
open to bilateral negotiations.
Obama's apostles are hard to dismiss. Oprah simply calls him "The One,"
because "we need politicians who know how to be the truth." (Jesus says in
John 14:6 "I am the way, the truth ...") Oprah goes on to say Obama will
help us "evolve to a higher plane," which would put Obama in the role of our
Intelligent Designer.
According to the New York Times, Obama's volunteers are taught to eschew
discussions of the issues and instead "testify" about how they "came to
Obama."
For many, he's no retro-redeemer, but a 21st century savior, a
Matrix-messiah and Neo for our modern-day Nineveh. Self-help guru Deepak
Chopra dubs Obama "a quantum leap in American consciousness," while
prominent "leadership coach" Eve Konstantine assures us that, "He's our
product out of the all-knowing quantum field of intelligence."
Obama willing, I will never be stuck next to these people on a plane.
Michelle Obama is arguably Obamanity's greatest evangelist, even though she
has a streak of Old Testament smiting and wrath to her. She insists her
husband has redeemed the entire nation (hence her newfound pride in
America). She proclaims her husband is the sort of leader who will fix our
broken souls. But don't hope for grace on the cheap. "The change Barack is
talking about is hard," she insists, "so don't get too excited, because
Barack is going to demand that you, too, be different."