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OPINION

Five Great Cigars and Why I Smoke Them

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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  1. Padron 7000 Maduro. This 6&1/4-inch x 60-ring cigar is a medium to full-bodied smoke with a rich and unique flavor. It is best described as a dominant coffee flavor with a smooth cocoa flavor for added complexity.
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My suit against UNCW is going well. The university was fortunate enough to get a federal judge (to hear their motion to dismiss the case) with an astronomically high rate of dismissal. They were probably feeling pretty confident. But, unfortunately for them, confidence is sometimes misplaced. Despite the unfavorable circumstances, I won easily. The judge said that my case is “ripe for adjudication.” Previously, an angry feminist had logged on to my Amazon.com page and said my case had been dismissed. That was wishful thinking. Welcome to reality. And let the depositions begin.

Naturally, I celebrated the legal victory with a Padron 7000.

  1. Oliva “V” Double Toro. This 6-inch by 60-ring cigar is also medium to full-bodied. It has hints of spice on top of a coffee and dark chocolate flavor. I should have said full to medium bodied as it becomes a little less strong midway through the smoke. It is, however, smooth throughout.

The University of St. Thomas was deluged with phone calls and emails after I ran an article criticizing the university administration for refusing to allow Star Parker to speak amid concerns of “discomfort.” This was after a transvestite was allowed to speak at this “Catholic” institution of hire [sic?] learning. Thanks to my readers and to the heroic efforts of the Young America’s Foundation the university relented and Parker will be allowed to speak.

Naturally, I celebrated with an Oliva “V.” The “V” stands for victory.

  1. Rocky Patel Edge Battalion Maduro. This fat 6-inch by 60-ring maduro has a rich, dark wrapper. It is sweet and spicy with a dark chocolate flavor. This cigar seems a bit more tame (medium to full bodied) than the smaller torpedo version I reviewed a couple of years ago.
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A guy wrote to me recently with an interesting story about how he started reading my columns. Apparently, he was offended by one of my column titles – this was back in 2004. He got angry and read the article. Then, somehow, he got hooked on the articles. One of them suggested it was cowardly to remain stuck in a mode of agnosticism. He agreed and started studying theology. Upon my recommendation, he read “I Don’t Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist.” Then, he converted to Christianity.

His letter said “I cannot thank you enough. You saved my soul.” Of course, that isn’t true. My mother helped save my soul. Her mother helped save hers. But it all goes back to a Jewish carpenter who died a couple of thousand years ago.

I celebrated my reader’s conversion with an Edge. Jesus would have liked the Edge. After all, he lived on the Edge.

  1. Romeo Y Juliet “Aniversario” Toro. This is yet another medium to full bodied recommendation. It is the richest cigar on this list with a wonderful cedar taste and aroma. This 6-inch by 56-ring also burns a little faster than any on this list. The draw and construction are both superb.

I love free guns. One of my readers – a wonderful attorney from Grand Rapids, Michigan – sent me a free Model 94 Winchester lever action chambered in .375 Winchester. As if that weren’t cool enough another reader gave me a Sig Sauer P229 chambered in 9mm.

I spent some of the money I saved from my gun budget on a box of Romeos. I bought some bullets, too.

  1. Rocky Patel Edge Sumatra Toro. This is a full bodied cigar with a fantastic hardwood taste and aroma. The 6-inch 52-ring version has surpassed the Edge Corojo as my favorite by Rocky Patel. There are about thirty of these aging in my humidor right now.
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There’s a fellow who’s been writing nasty messages to me ever since he saw one of my speeches on CSPAN in July of 2006. His messages have often been very hostile. He even attacked me once after I suffered the loss of a child to a miscarriage. The urge to track down this seemingly bitter old man has been pretty overwhelming at times. But, over the last few months, his messages to me have been losing their edge.

This man used to take the position that “religion spoils everything.” His first several dozens emails were characterized by a pathological fear of Christianity. But, just a few days ago, after reading my column “The Prisoner” he wrote the following: “Thank you. It is a shame that some extremists have to spoil religion for everyone.

This man is probably only a few short months away from accepting Christ. When he does, I’ll smoke an Edge Sumatra. Then I’ll smoke another “V” for victory.

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