Rarely do I find myself amused by reading court rulings, but this dissent, written by Judge Lawrence VanDyke of the Ninth Circuit, did exactly that. In fact, it'd be downright funny if the topic at hand weren't so offensive and serious. In Washington state, the Olympus Spa, a business owned by Korean Christians, refused to let biological men and "trans women" use its services, because their clients — actual women — didn't want to be exposed to males.
Olympus Spa is a traditional Korean spa, where clients are nude, so that's understandable.
Except to the powers that be in Washington state, who have decided mentally ill men have a right to expose themselves to women and girls, some as young as 13-years-old.
The Ninth Circuit agreed with those denizens of equality, and ruled against the spa, hence Judge VanDyke's dissent.
Woke Ninth Circuit decides Korean spas have to let biological men swing their gear in front of women and children.
— Peter St Onge, Ph.D. (@profstonge) March 13, 2026
The dissent is pure gold: pic.twitter.com/kwYpQpcGBQ
Here's what Judge VanDyke wrote:
This is a case about swinging dicks. The Christian owners of Olympus Spa — a traditional Korean, women-only, nude spa — understandably don't want them in their spa. Their female employees and female clients don't want them in their spa either. But Washington state insists on them. And now so does the Ninth Circuit.
You may think that swinging dicks shouldn't appear in a judicial opinion. You're not wrong. But as much as you might understandably be shocked and displeased to merely encounter that phrase in this opinion, I hope we can agree that it is far more jarring for the unsuspecting and exposed women at Olympic Spa — some as young as thirteen — to be visually assaulted by the real thing.
Sometimes, it feels like the supposed adults in the room have collectively lost their minds. Woke regulators and complicit judges seem entirely willing, even eager, to ignore the consequences that their Frankenstein social experiments expose on real women and young girls. Yet if harmful and unfortunate consequences were all this case was about, we'd have to shrug and say: "That's what comes with living in a democracy." Unless the Constitution is implicated, we get what we voted for "good and hard."
I know Judge VanDyke was right over the target because all the right people are offended by his blunt dissent.
Here is one of the pearl-clutching statements, raging at Judge VanDyke for saying they have all lost their minds for the sake of their woke ideology.
— Kostas Moros (@MorosKostas) March 13, 2026
Well, they have. Truth hurts. Glad someone on the bench is finally willing to speak openly and honestly. It's refreshing. And I… pic.twitter.com/xUFJE9eGb1
That statement reads (emphasis added):
The American legal system has long been regarded as a place to resolve disputes in a dignified and civil manner or, as Justice O'Connor put it, to "disagree without being disagreeable." It is not a place for vulgar barroom talk. Nor is it a place to suggest that fellow judges have "collectively lost their minds," or that they are "woke judges" "complict" in a scheme to harm ordinary Americans. That language makes us sound like juveniles, not judges, and it undermines public trust in the courts. The lead dissent's use of such coarse language and invective may make for publicity or entertainment value, but it has no place in a judicial opinion. The lead dissent ignores ordinary principles of dignity and civility and demeans this court. Neither the parties nor the panel dissent found it necessary to invoke such crude and vitriolic language. Decorum and collegiality demand more.
Pardon me, but this is simply not a matter on which we can "disagree without being disagreeable." The Court, along with Washington officials, have decided that the rights of mentally ill men trump those of women and girls in the state who wish to remain unmolested by those mentally ill men.
Yet they're more outraged about Judge VanDyke being blunt in his opinion than they are at the abuse of women and girls. What's crude and vitriolic is allowing physically intact, biological men to expose themselves to women and girls as if it were a "human right."
And the metaphor is apt. "Swinging dicks" is often a euphemism for who has more power, and in this case, it's the men, the state of Washington, and the Ninth Circuit. The women and girls at Olympus Spa have none.
