Major Bummer: San Francisco Is Absolutely Covered in Fecal Matter

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Posted: Jul 14, 2018 10:55 AM
Major Bummer: San Francisco Is Absolutely Covered in Fecal Matter

Augh. Egads. Barf. Gross. Recently elected San Francisco Mayor London Breed says that the city she loves is absolutely covered in fecal matter and "we are not just talking about from dogs — we’re talking about from humans."

Talking about human feces, folks! Particularly, feces from humans experiencing homelessness right now. Apparently, the city is so overrun by poverty that people are using virtually all public spaces as their toilet because they cannot afford proper lavatories. To this extent, Mayor Breed is asking that homelessness advocacy groups and non-profit encourage those they are helping to clean up after themselves.

"I work hard to make sure your programs are funded for the purposes of trying to get these individuals help, and what I am asking you to do is work with your clients and ask them to at least have respect for the community — at least, clean up after themselves and show respect to one another and people in the neighborhood," Breed told the local media. 

But, when asked if she would impose any harsher penalties for those who leave the results of their bowel movements in public, the mayor declined to mention any new deterrents aside from asking nicely. She just wants the aforementioned non-profits "to talk to their clients, who, unfortunately, were mostly responsible for the conditions of our streets."

And those conditions are dismal. "I will say there is more feces on the sidewalks than I’ve ever seen growing up here," Breed told media. 

A recent Bay Area NBC investigative "report centered around a 153-block survey of downtown San Francisco, which revealed trash on every block, 100 needles, and more than 300 piles of feces along the 20-mile stretch of streets and sidewalks."

But, this filth is not for lack of spending money on the problem. The city is slated to spend nearly $280 million this year on housing and services for the homeless — a roughly 40 percent increase compared to just five years ago. Over that same span, however, the number of homeless in the city has largely remained the same at about 7,500 people, according to city counts." 

But, it is unclear how the city plans to stop the issue once and for all. In the meantime for San Francisco denizens, just wear some flowers in your hair to mask the fecal odor.