Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz and Ohio Sen. JD Vance will face off for the first time in what is most likely the last debate of the 2024 election cycle.
This time, the debate will be moderated by CBS Evening News anchor Norah O'Donnell and Face the Nation's Margaret Brennan. Expect the moderators to relentlessly "fact-check" Vance after the September 10 presidential debate devolved into a three-on-one Trump pile-on thanks to Kamala's media cohorts.
Never mind that Walz is a proven pathological liar, fabricating stories about his military service, political origin story, and even the conception of his own children — the latter lie which he campaigned on in order to score pro-abortion political points. It's truly sociopathic behavior. In the words of the "late, great" Joe Biden, Walz is a "lying dog-faced pony soldier."
On the campaign trail, we've heard a tale of two Tims. The media tells us he's just your average Joe, an everyman, a "folksy" flannel guy, a Mountain Dew-loving Midwestern moderate. But his record has shown he's a Marxist Minnesota governor with CCP connections whose authoritarian actions have shuttered the small businesses he claims to champion.
Walz waited days to call in the National Guard while Minneapolis burned during the George Floyd riots. Walz's soft-on-crime response allowed anti-police extremists to inflict $500 million in property damage downtown. Walz himself even admitted the "abject failure" of his handling of the Black Lives Matter uprisings.
Also in 2020, Tim "Mind Your Own Damns Business!" Walz was a COVID-19 tyrant, encouraging Minnesotans to snitch on each other via a tattletale hotline — which alerted authorities to suspicions of non-compliance with Walz's lockdown measures — whenever they witnessed someone, particularly businesses, violating one of his many pandemic mandates.
"Tampon Tim" will likely call Vance the "weird" one while Vance is expected to harp on how Walz — who was the choice of democratic socialist Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) — sees socialism as akin to "neighborliness."
Walz continues to frame Vance as an Ivy League elitist despite the fact that Vance grew up in poverty, the son of a drug-addicted mother and an absent father. Vance went to college on the G.I. Bill after serving in the Marines and the Iraq War. He eventually earned his law degree from Yale, but through sheer willpower and true grit. He's the embodiment of the American Dream, rising above his working-class roots in Appalachia to become a self-made millionaire.
Here's what's on our BINGO card for tonight's throwdown. Play along with us or turn it into a drinking game.
Place bets on whether Walz will award himself the Purple Heart for enduring the debate beatdown. Bonus points if Walz brandishes the guns he so proudly owns. Automatic win if Walz's tampon falls out on stage, similar to Nancy Pelosi's DNC dropping.